Negligent Stalking

Almost every story I have starts with "So I was stalking someone and..." I am, ever so proudly, a stalker. A very bad one because I can't keep it up for more than a small while, but one nonetheless.

[citrinetheshe-mime]

Why did you and Sixpence break up? You were my fave couple!!!!! :'-(

I just saw this but it just so happened to be on my mind too. He left me for someone else because I stopped being direct about my feelings. I didn't think he cared anymore but apparently I just lacked eyeballs. Now he's blocked me on facebook and text because he is afraid I will try to talk to his new girlfriend who could very easily be my less Norwegian doppleganger. We were my favorite couple too. At least I still have my humor!!

[pizzasexualll-deactivated201308]

[thecatsmeow90]

Working on my paper is hard on both of us.

[citrinetheshe-mime]

I love when my cat does this. I love it more when he stops because I also find it quite scary but still it's creepy and cute.

[the-time-lord-of-the-rings-deac]

THE CUTEST AND MOST ADORABLE THING YOU WILL EVER READ IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE

HOW ARE NOSELESS AND MOUTHLESS THOR AND LOKI SO ADORABLE

HOW

(Source: The amazingly talented and creative Lauren Gracek)

[citrinetheshe-mime]

All of my hate for Marvel bastardization turned to love for this one thing.

[killer-killjoy]

me when i see people ranting about how bad Frozen was

[roymustache-deactivated20150728]

[citrinetheshe-mime]

Mahahahaha

[captainfillion-deactivated20160]

[pynkdemonnn]

did they just

[citrinetheshe-mime]

Dear god... So much love.

[citrinetheshe-mime]

Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online?

To my knowledge no. But I would like the honest of the internet of my vagina. And the rest of my body except for my face (because I think it's great right now.)

[citrinetheshe-mime]

[citrinetheshe-mime]

Resistance is Futile.

So every so often I hack Sixpences tumblr to see the funny questions and during this past venture I noticed that I have only 8% of his love. I think he's now trying to fix this by liking everything I've posted. Unfortunately he has liked things like a whore likes every dollar she makes and has thousands of things he liked. This will make no difference.

[espruen]

[citrinetheshe-mime]

An alternate universe where Bruce Wayne died instead of his parents. Causing his father Thomas Wayne to become Batman and his mother Martha to go insane and become the Joker. 

[citrinetheshe-mime]

So much love for this.

[citrinetheshe-mime]

Oh sheep! It's Pocahontas.

[citrinetheshe-mime]

Lumière and Cogsworth apparently think I am like a Disney character yay!!!

[fatsuckingmosquitoes-blog-blog]

Let's get Tied!

[proletherian-dictatorship]

starexorcist:

you forgot one

[starpyrate]

*screams* THAT REBLOG. THAT IS HOW I AM GOING TO LACE EVERY SINGE PAIR OF SHOES FROM NOW ON SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM

[veganmovement2012]

You’re going to want to use every share button at the bottom of this article once you’re done reading, so get ready, it’s time to freak out:  Maybe.

If you live on the west coast of Canada or the United States, you’re pretty much already screwed at this point thanks to the Japanese earthquake and tsunami of 2011.  Radiation levels are already increasing in the food and water, babies born with thyroid issues linked to radiation are rising quickly and governments in Canada and the United States are raising the “acceptable levels” of certain toxic substances in the food being shipped in from Japan.

This isn’t a conspiracy theory, this is happening and it’s happening right now.

Do the math – If that radiation screamed across the Pacific Ocean that far in one year, just how far do you think it has gotten since then?  Look at what World Truth TV is saying and then you decide.

Samples of milk taken across the United States have shown radiation at levels 2000 percent higher than EPA maximums.  The reason that milk is so significant is that it is representative of the entire food supply.  According to an article published on Natural News, “Cows consume grass and are exposed to the same elements as food crops and water supplies. In other words, when cows’ milk starts testing positive for high levels of radioactive elements, this is indicative of radioactive contamination of the entire food supply.”

The  Food and Drug  Administration and the Environmental Deception Protection Agency, instead of refusing to prohibit the sale of tainted foods and mandatory testing of foods produced and harvested from the Pacific Coast, have simply raised the “acceptable levels”  of radioactive material in foods. read more..

http://www.pakalertpress.com/2013/06/08/holy-fukushima-radiation-from-japan-is-already-killing-north-americans/

[kchannel9]

Fucking thank you! Finally I’m not the only fucking person posting about this, the most fucking drastically important info currently. We are fucked over here in CA.

EVERYONE JUST PRETENDS NOTHING HAPPENED. IT’S HIGHLY DISTURBING.

Personally, I’ve been avoiding all west coast produce, especially greens, which absorb the most radioactive particles (plutonium, cesium, strontium). Milk & flesh from animals that eat greens are even worse because of bioaccumulation.

And I’m actively working on moving to Colorado, asap.

PLEASE FUCKING REBLOG THIS. PLEASE!

[asklord-ghirahim-deactivated201]

Is Minnesota affected? I’m not ready to move states away yet D: Stay safe guys!!

[sixpencethemime]

Ragnarok is coming, Tumblr.

[citrinetheshe-mime]

Norse Mythology brought to you by Sixtrine, powered by Ragnarok.

[sixpencethemime]

Do yall even understand how cool Norse Mythology is? Let me splain you a thing.

First off, Thor isnt blonde, damnit. Nor does he fly with his Mjolnir. He has a chariot which is pulled by Tooth-Nasher and Tooth-Grinder. WHO HE KILSS AND EATS ALMOST EVERY DAY. He rbings them back with his hammer and as long as the bones are not broken, then they are fine. Though, Thor is a egotistical idiot who doesnt listen to anyone and now one of them has a limp. Did I mention he was an idiot? Doesnt matter though. Also, if you throw a party, you better invite Loki, cause he shows up like that drunk girl at 2am calling everyone sluts. He tried that once. Showed up and called everyone sluts or babies or whatever. Until he mentioned Sif was a whore and Odin was a fool, then Thor came in and gave him three strikes. Loki quit his shit faster then anything.

LOKI GAVE BIRTH TO THE THREE MOST HORRIFIC THINGS IN NORSE MYTHOS AND EVERYON JUST WAS LIKE…

s’cool, i guess. Like. What? Come on guys.

Also, there is Uller, who takes over for Odin durning the winter. He is the god of archery and skiis. How fucking badass is that. He does archey… ON SKIIS. Fuck you Hawkeye.

Im tagging out.

[citrinetheshe-mime]

Bad Sixpence. You didn’t even expand on Loki! Between the two Marvel does him more injustice. 

Loki is the ultimate trickster, the god of malice and deceit. Not to mention he’s a mother ucking frost giant. I guess in an attempt to make him seem like less of an impressive, overpowered, asshat villain, Marvel conveniently overlooked the fact that that he gender-bends and shape shifts (which would make him almost unrecognizable to his enemies). 

They also don’t mention his children with the exception of Sleipnir and you almost have to wonder if he has a few “Odin what the hell are you doing riding my eight-legged son?" moments. He gave birth to the three most frightening creatures in Norse mythology, Hel, Fenrir (Fenris wolf), and Jormungandr (the world serpent). I don’t know about most people, but in my opinion if you had a giant serpent child that was so large it could wrap around the whole world and eat it’s own tail you may have thought about asking for some assistance while being Hulk-smashed. 

Now more about how awe-inspiring his children (because sometimes to all you have to do is look at the child to judge the parent… sometimes.) His daughter, Hel, presides over Hel(l) where she pretty much gets every single being (including gods like Baldr) that Odin and Freya didn’t claim for Valhall. Oh also I should mention that half of her body is alive and the other have is dead flesh. Fenrir is a wolf that has the mass of an elephant (and you thought the wolves from twilight were large and fearsome) and is so strong that he cannot be held by anything you could find.The gods tried twice to bind him with earthly metals which he broke through with minimum effort. The gods had to fashion chains out of “the sound of a cats foot fall, the beard of a woman, the roots of a mountain, the sinews of a bear, the breath of a fish, and the spit of a bird." At the time, these were thought to be literally impossible to find. However I know from my cat Charlie that cats can be loud as hell itself. Nonetheless, dwarves fashioned a chain made of these things as called it Gleipnir. It was as thin as a ribbon but stronger than anything. The gods tricked and trapped Fenris wolf using this chain but he also bit the god of war’s (Tyr’s) hand off. This chain holds until Ragnarok. The Midgard serpent is the archenemy of Thor and he also hold Midgard together, so if one day he gets tired of the taste of his tail our world falls apart and ends. To end the child history lesson, one last fact on them: Loki’s sons kill GODS. Every man on earth could form into one army and it would “seem to small" when compared to Fenrir’s size and capability. The giant wolf kills Odin, the ruler of the Norse gods and the most wise being in existence. (Now in my opinion, he had a slight advantage because Odin had no depth perception to speak of but still!) Jormungandr poisons Thor and he can’t take nine steps before dying.

Done on that front. 

Last fun bit of the Loki lesson. HE CAUSES EARTHQUAKES!!

After Baldr’s death Loki is chained in the center of the earth using chains fashioned from the entrails of his son Vali. Over him is placed a highly venomous snake. His wife (which he has obviously been an adulterous, lecherous bastard of a husband to) sits by him and collects the slowly dripping venom into a bowl to save her husband from pain. )f course, every container has it’s limits and every so often she must leave to empty the bowl. When she leaves and venom drips on Loki he writhes in agony and cause the world to shake. When Ragnarok comes his chains break and he leads the giants into a battle against the gods.

CONSIDER THIS LOKI LESSON TAUGHT!!

[sixpencethemime]

OKAY, my turn again.

Story time, bitches.

So, some frost giants got the idea to steal Mjolnir. Cause, thats a great plan. “Lets steal a weapon that even the STRONGEST of Gods cant lift without bracers and a girdle.

Whatever. Moving on. So, they steal it and say, “YO THOR, IF YOU WANT IT BACK, WE WANT FREYA." and she was like heeeeeeeelll no *snap snap*. So, everyone turned to Loki. Who was just like, “Yeah. i got this. even though yalls is suckahs". So Loki took Thor aside and told him that they needed to merely make the giants THINK they were bringing Freya.

"So quick. Put on this dress" with a bit of lace and a bit o magic no giant would have known the wiser. So they enter their Hall and Loki presents the bliushing “bride". But asked to see Mjolnir just to make sure it wasnt a bluff.

Lets just say, if you think Thor can fight on his own. Add a wedding dress to the mix.

Needless to say they all died. Thats how a lot of stories end.

um, the end.

[citrinetheshe-mime]

I like that story, ANOTHER! 

Since this was brought about by Ragnarok I feel compelled to tell the story that prophesied the coming of the end of days. Baldr's Dream and The Death of Baldr. 

Baldr is the god of truth and light. He is loved by everyone because, simply put, he's such a nice guy. Baldr lived in a palace called Breidablik with his wife Nanna. Since Baldr was the god of truth it was said that no lies could pass through the walls of his castle. So when Baldr began having nightmares the AEsir tried with all their might to interpret what his dreams could mean. 

Odin took it upon himself to ride down to Nifleheim, the world of the dead, to seek out a long dead prophetess. Using his wisdom Odin raised the soothsayer from her grave and asked her four questions from which he learned that the dreams were foreshadowing Baldr's own death. With the fourth question the seeress recognizes Odin and refuses to answer anymore questions and returns to her grave. 

(Small insert: Norse gods aren't like most other gods, they are not immortal. They are simply mortal beings who ascended to godhood.)

Odin takes the knowledge back to Asgard and upon learning the knowledge Frigg sets out on her own mission to protect her son from every thing it all the worlds. She asks almost every material on earth to not harm Baldr, they all agree because hey, Baldr is such a great guy. However Frigg overlooks one small plant that was very new to the world. Mistletoe. She assumed that since it was so young it wouldn't possibly harm her son. (Apparently this brilliant woman didn't know that mistletoe is a highly parasitic dick.) After her mission, all the gods decided to test Baldr's safety by playing the "Let's Throw Deadly Weapons at Baldr!" game. (Seems counter intuitive in a way. Kinda like a "I think this anti-venom works. Quick, highly venomous snake bite this guy! If it works YAY if not well then at least I tried!" situation) Following through on their agreement, every battleaxe, spear, and knife stopped before hitting Baldr. 

This would have been a wonderful happy ending if Loki didn't exist. Loki was envious of Baldr. Everyone loved Baldr, he was the nice golden boy. They was a 'shocking' lack of people who loved Loki. So Loki transforms himself into an old woman and learns from Frigg that she has passed over the harmless and naive mistletoe. Loki went and found a mistletoe branch which he fashioned into a dart. 

When Loki returns to the gods he sees blind Hod, Baldr's brother. He approaches Hod and asks him why he isn't participating in the sport. Hod explains that he has nothing to attack Baldr with and he is blind so he couldn't try even if he wanted to. Loki gives blind Hod the mistletoe dart and points him in the direction of Baldr. When launched, the mistletoe dart spears Baldr straight through the heart and he falls down dead. With that Loki flees.

Baldr is placed on a funeral pyre with his wife Nanna who died from the grief of losing her beloved husband. The pyre was then lit and the couple were sent to Hel. 

End Scene.