Summary: Ever since you were young, you were always taught to be good, and good you were. Church girl, smiling neighbor, the star daughter. Perfect.
Until you find yourself seeking the town outcast, Joel Miller.
dividers made by @/saradika-graphics
Rating: 18+ mdni!!!
wc: tbd
warnings: girthy age gap (20/56), obsession, religious upbringing + religious guilt, you've had a crush oh him since 17 but he NEVER NOTICED YOU, small town, loss of virginity, unprotected piv, oral sex (m & f recieving), mentions of contraception, secret meetups, sarah is dead, mention of fatal car crash, reader has anxiety, dominant behavior, toxic dynamic, joel feeds you beer so (illegal drinking), physical roughness, power imbalance, angst, joel is an ass
FULL FIC COMING SOON!! IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED TO A TAGLIST, LMK!
Snippet below!!! (smut warning)
“Gon’ let me show you, sweet thing?” He whispers against your cheek, leaning forward to bring you both back to the ground. Big hands cradle the back of your head, forcing you to look him straight in the eyes.
On impulse, you want to look away, but his eyes make it impossible. Big and brown, pupils blown to astronomical proportions.
“What do- what do you wanna show me?”
“Want me to kiss you, down ther’?” He emphasizes his question with his brows while moving a hand to rest on your pubic bone. Heat blooms across your stomach and thighs at the mere touch. New and inviting, you never knew a man could make you feel like this.
“Yes, please...” You squeak out, placing a feather-like kiss on his pulsing temple.
Joel shoulders tense, just a touch, before softening again. He clears his throat, eyes darting to the cross that sits between your breasts, glinting in the moonlight. You follow his eyes, cheeks flushing as you realize. The ultimate sin.
Joel knows.
He takes the clasp from around your neck, unhooking the dainty chain, before chucking the sterling silver towards the trees, disappearing amongst the tall grass. Tears well in your eyes as you consider his action. They weren't tears of sadness, but tears of relief at the burden that was placed at you at such a young age being lifted off your shoulders. You realize something that kills you.
You didn’t have to be a good girl when Joel was around.
