claimed clam

thoughts of the low life

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Last night I had a dream that Drake and I were laying on the cough spooning but my three children were running around and bugging us. I was asking myself did I love Drake for who he is or only because he's Drake? I asked him what time he was born and he said, "why so that you can manipulate my emotions?" Also my mom was there cleaning and cooking. She said it was time to get up and that it smelled musty like hair balls. It was really embarrassing and I’m glad I woke up from that nightmare and realize it’s probably because I ate a whole package of gummy bears yesterday at my desk

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Last night I had a dream that drake and I orgasmed together by mere touch

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Do you ever think about someone and you think what are they doing at this very moment and then come to the realization they're probably talking about themselves?

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When a man grabs his crotch during s meeting to tell a joke and everyone looks at you cause you're the only woman there

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I dream a lot about public bathrooms

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I dream a lot about driving recklessly on roads and haunted houses with cars (like at amusement parks) I dream a lot about endurance tests like in boot camps (I don’t know the word and now that I’m thinking about it more, I don’t know if it’s true…. yes. It’s true. With obstacles.)

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I dream a lot about going on stage and not knowing what I'm doing or that I forgot the lines I am supposed to recite

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I dream a lot about mountains and institutions and malls... about school galleries and suburban houses and airports. About snowboarding and trains, -- perhaps subways -- about tidal waves

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I had a dream that I was advised to put on a blue or green base for lip color and then realized Kylie's secret to fame

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This morning I accidentally drippped some coffee on am old polish man who said thank you for telling him it happened, because he didn't notice but then he turned to the woman besides him and in polish said she doesn't really care so I reached in my bag to get baby wipes and accidentally spilled half of my coffee everywhere and it was rush hour so I didn't most of the commute cleaning up spilled coffee with the baby wipes including the coffee that covered the old man's leather bag

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It gives me hope that generations before us have been struggling with the same notions of inequality only to be detected by too politically correct decisions made by white guilt only to recognized by a pessimist.

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I spilled coffee on Me hand and an Asian nerd teenager gave me his napkins silently. It was the nicest gesture any one has ever done. Ever.

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This and when someone handed me a pen once, on the subway

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I swear to god sleeping on the subway is the most surreal

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I successfully read someone's mind. It was an old Pakistani or Bengali or Indian man who thought "I feel anxiety because I have to pee"

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I swear to god sleeping on the subway is the most surreal

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I think my post partum depression is over finally, but now I'm approaching 9-5 realization depression and this one cuts deep. Realizations all over and they are painful

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Some man told me I was a teacher today on the subway and then he mansplained how I should have handled a situation with a hassidic man asking for directions.

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Maybe now is the time to invest in url real estate

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Earlier this week I saw a black couple fighting. The woman started running away and ripping off all of her clothes including wig