Words

[claireluisa]

I'm so sad that you've stopped writing everyday because I'll really miss your words appearing on my dash! I'm so lucky to have read them and thankful that you shared your 2014 with us. I hope 2015 brings you so much happiness and fun. Happy New Year! :)

Thank you so much! You've gone and made my night! Happy New Year to you to and here's to a wonderful 2015. xoxo, Claire

[claireluisa]

Hey I just stumbled upon this blog today and got so inspired by your writings. Thanks to you, I'm going to try writing bits and pieces everyday for a year. I would be so flattered if you would maybe read or share my blog so I can receive some feedback? Anyway, just wanted to let you know the impact this blog has had on me!! Thank you!

Hey, thanks so much! I'm so honored to have impacted you in some way. I've never taken a poetry class, so I don't give feedback since I am by no means any sort of expert. But, yo any experts that follow me, please give this writer some feedback!!! Best of luck with your resolutions and your writing. xoxo, Claire

[claireluisa]

you have a gift claire and your writing is so beautiful

thank you so much! that is so nice of you to take the time to tell me. xoxo, Claire

[claireluisa]

You are incredible and I am quite sad that 2015 brings with it the end of your daily posts. I will miss seeing your words on my dash, but I suppose this also means that when they do come along, they will be that much more special. Happiest of wishes to you for the coming New Year.

Thank you so much. I just made my last daily post and reading your message feels really good. I hope you have the happiest 2015 ever. xoxo, Claire

[claireluisa]

It feels fitting to be writing this after driving home on empty roads at 1:30 in the morning. It made for the perfect mix of teenage angst and nostalgia, which in many ways sums up 2014 for me. When I post this, the date next to it is going to read December 31st, 2014. The end. In this year, I felt the very best and worst things about being young. In this year I ached for freedom and I reveled in it when it came. I fell in love, but I also learned just how profound completely platonic love can be. I learned to stretch that love over miles and countries. And I wrote about it all here. I'm so proud of that. I'm so proud that by my approximation I only skipped about 15 days of writing (not counting late posts/ weird time zone posts). 350 out of 365 is a feat that I am proud of. I know that there were so many days when I sat down with no idea what to write and no desire to figure out what to write. That's where you come in. Thank you. Thank you so much for living my 18th year with me. Whether you joined my journey in January or joined it in December, thank you. I would like to say that I would have carried on with this resolution without a following, but I really don't think that's true. Your messages, your notes, knowing that you were there and reading and being changed or affected by the my naive, lovesick, love-struck, and angsty ramblings truly means the world to me. That is why this is not the end. I promise you that I will continue to post and continue to write, but my new resolution is to post only things that I am extremely proud of, nothing forced. Maybe that will mean posting every day sometimes, maybe that will mean posting once a month other times. I want to feel and then write in a natural progression again and I do hope that you stay here and carry on in this new chapter of my journey. I feel like I have so many more things to say, but I've lost the ability to say them eloquently. And so I leave you with this: Dear reader, thank you for watching as I had the privilege of experiencing one hell of a 2014. Here's to a wonderful 2015 for the both of us.

"The End" by Claire Luisa

[claireluisa]

I like your writing :) is Luisa your middle name or something?

Thank you! And yes, Luisa is my middle name and the first name of my Abuela, one of the top 7 most badass women to walk this earth. xoxo, Claire

[claireluisa]

You'll find the things that turn merely surviving into living.

"Ten word story #12" by Claire Luisa

[claireluisa]

you are a mountain today. climb me! you yell. I dare you! you are a mountain, menacing and strong and people tremble in your shadow. you are the man at the bottom of the mountain today. I cannot climb you. you whisper. You are too tall. you are but a man, shivering and tired and the mountain forever dares you to climb her.

by Claire Luisa

[claireluisa]

Darling, put your brave face on. Sometimes, that's all you'll need. Put on your best lipstick smile, shoulders back, head up, look forward, not back. Never back. Look back and they'll know. Darling, put your brave face on. Most of the time that's all you'll need.

"a mix of my mother's advice and the things I've learned on my own" by Claire Luisa

[claireluisa]

the things you do to me are beautiful and quite indescribable.

by claire luisa

[claireluisa]

I just went back and read a poem that I wrote in January and I'm struck with that particular kind of nostalgia when you are not unhappy with where you are right now, but realizing how much time has passed and how long ago this time last year was kind of makes you want to throw up at the same time. I'm so happy. 2014, especially the second half, was one of the best years I've ever had the privilege of living through. And it only looks like it'll get better in 2015. But there's a certain heaviness in the finality of it all. At this time last year, I didn't know where I was going to college, I didn't know that I was capable of directing a play, I didn't really know the boy that I love now, I didn't know so many people that I love now, I wasn't unhappy, but I didn't know just how happy I was capable of being. That was only 11 months ago, but the me who wrote those poems then feels so foreign. I wonder if that is what growing up is? I don't feel as though I know much more about the world and how to take it on, but I do know more about myself. At almost nineteen, I feel less of the drama of coming of age that I felt so profoundly at almost eighteen. Instead it feels like a steady ebb and flow. Some days I feel so sure and so steady and some days I remember that I don't know shit, but neither day is the end of the world. I think that's what this year changed for me. I realized that it's not the end of the world. Terrible, horrible things happen to beautiful, wonderful people, and life goes on. Small scale tragedies, big scale tragedies, life goes on. And in the particular case of 2014, it goes on in fantastic ways.

"The Final Stretch" by Claire Luisa

[claireluisa]

All I want for Christmas is good hair days and snow flurries and late mornings with plenty of coffee. All I want for Christmas is people who push me, who call me out on bullshit, who love me. All I want for Christmas is to stay this happy, is to grow is to change in wonderful ways.

"Christmas Resolutions?" by Claire Luisa

[claireluisa]

It'll be alright even though it's not snowing and it's Christmastime.

"a simple example of how sometimes the things we want are not always what we need" By Claire Luisa

[claireluisa]

It's such a big world and there are so many places and things just waiting for me to touch them, see them, experience them. And I plan to do all that. I plan to leave no corner of the universe and all it's immensity unturned, unthought, unscathed. But these days, these lazy December mornings, just lying in your arms, just being small. I plan on a lot more of these as well.

By Claire Luisa

[claireluisa]

I'm in love with your writing. it gives me chills and it's just so amazing and I wanted to say thank you

Oh wow! I just want to say thank you right back at you. What a lovely way to liven up a sleepy 1 am. Xoxo, Claire

[claireluisa]

the cold is coming in. it's settling in my crevices. between my fingers, behind my knees, it's trying so hard to get in, to make my blood run slower, to make it all cold.

by Claire Luisa

[claireluisa]

I only have to do this 10 more times. That's how long until the new year and some resolutions are only meant to last for one year and it's so strange to think that at one point I had 365 days left and now I have 10.

by Claire Luisa