WARNING: CURSED CHILD SPOILERS !!
okay so hereās all my thoughts on the cursed child, numbered as they come to my head
1. albus and scorpius are precious cinnamon rolls that must be protected. the script has so much romantic subtext. like it literally describes them as āheartbrokenā when they get separated. scorpius literally thinks of albus when fighting dementors !! then it has to go all āno homoā on the last scene when he asked rose out even though their characters didnāt interact and rose treated scorpius like shit. like come on there was the perfect opportunity for a lgbt+ relationship and jk Rowling had to go no homo on it. like buddy, we need some diverse characters. I mean sure we have Dumbledore but he wasnāt outed till after the series was done like she totally just thought of that to make the people happy in my opinion. to sum it up, sCORBUS and scorpius is a smol bean. the smolest of beans.
2. rose !! so out of character !!!!!!!!! like she was talking about how they āhad to make friendsā and how she believed all the rumors about scorpius. I refuse to believe hermione would have raised her that way. maybe that was the judgemental weasley coming out of (4th book Ron ya know?) but I donāt think hermione would have let it continue once she found out about it (which she knows, sheās hermione for peteās sake). she would NOT have ditched albus and then not talked to him again for the rest of the play like hell no hermione raised her better than that. she would have forced them together over holidays and forced them to talk out their problems and everything would be fine again.
3. where the crap is the rest of their family ?? where is Hugo ???? they mention wanting to have another child but like they already do ?? where did he come from, where did he go, where did the come from cotton eyed joe? also where are James and lily the whole play ?? no matter if albus was a slytherin, James totally would have pranked him and done all sorts of big brother stuff even if they werenāt in the same house. he might have been a little distant at first, but Ginny would talk some sense into him and it would all be great. also where did lily go ???? and where the flying fuck is teddy ?? Harry is some of his only family left (other than andormanda or however you spell it, btw is she even alive ???). what did he do after hogwarts? we all know he was hufflepuff head boy but like where is he ?? is he an auror ?? what did he do with his life ? are him and victore still dating ?? have they gotten engaged ?? to sum it up, where are the other family members and why did they all ditch albus (once again ooc)
4. hARRY IS SO OOC !!!!! why is he such a horrible father ?? that should not have happened ! I mean sure he didnāt have anyone to go off of, but we all know that because of that he would have damn well tried to be the best father ever. as soon as he even figured out Ginny was preggo he probs would have brought out the research book and done everything possible to prepare because he did not want to be like Vernon Dursley. and why does he not understand albus ?? like heās exactly like him ?? literally exactly the same ?? he would have known better than to tell him he wished he never had him as a son because he knew himself what it was like to be excluded and not liked by your family. he would never do that !! never !! he would know better ! and the separating albus and scorpius thing ?? wtf ?? and talking to mcgonagall the precious woman we all know and love ? unacceptable !! Harry has too much respect for that woman to do that. Harryās character was just so ooc it was ridiculous.
5. ron and hermione were still together in every universe !! like jk rowling had the perfect opportunity to make draco and hermione a thing, or harry and hermione, but she didnāt !! also badass hermione in that Voldemort universe hell yes !!!
6. hermione would not have hid a time turner in a book with its only protecting being a puzzle 14 year olds could solve. no, just no
7. delphini, what the actual fuck. is this a cliche fanfiction ?? really jk ??? why you gotta do this ?? and the fact thatās sheās 22 and albus can have a crush on her and it be acceptable but he canāt like scorpius because nO hOmO amIRigHT?1!2? also the fact that itās confirmed that voldy and bellatrix did the frickle frackle is kinda funny.
8. the whole time travel concept in general. just weird. another thing that just makes it seem like a cliche watt pad fanfic.
9. cEDRIC. loyal, hufflepuff Cedric would not have become a death eater !! no matter how humiliated he was !! no !! no !! no !! she completely demolished and ruined Cedricās character by doing this all for a stupid plot twist. he deserved better !!!
10. how come it took months to make polyjuice potion but it took delphini like 10 mins ???
11. ronās character only being there for comedic relief ?? like what ?? where is George ? is he running the joke shop with him ?? the play ron was more like movie Ron rather than book Ron which was irritating. he was so chill and itās like ?? Ron has never known chill honestly this could not happen. you could trap ron in a refrigerator and he still wouldnāt be chill.
12. how did they see the potterās house ?? itās under a fidilius charm ?? no one told them the address ? much confusion.
13. it was finally told how shitty of a father figure Dumbledore was !! God bless !! good shit !!
14. āoh wow I conveniently have this time turner that I didnāt use to bring my dead wife back from the dead !!!ā much wow, how convenientā¦. really jk
Iāll add more if I think of any, but feel free to add any of your own !!
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