i watched half of the nba all star game tonight when i got home/ basketball is truly such a survival mechanism for me which is so funny, but itâs the one sport that watching/playing makes me feel so good!
i hung a photo of russell westbrook by my studio desk recently and i love having it there
my room is really clean and comfortable right now too, got a little bulletin board and no cluttered surfaces and important things in reach and a heavily paint-stained desk. this cozy box can be so hospitable.
Q: what do i want to paint?
A: a breath.
wrote a list of Good Things i Have Going earlier and though writing the list didnt actually feel so notable, what came after it did
spent awhile reading poetry in portuguese and trying to translate it to english; looking for more practice opportunities like this that are deep but dont always require conversation with (kind) strangers
I also did a good 30 mins of very relaxed yoga and though my shoulders still feel intennnnsely heavy with tension, it was a helpful process.
i brought louise a little sprig of babyâs breath today bc i knew sheâd be in our studio. casual real loving actions that mean nothing.
read this and been looking at Kara Hauptâs site tonight and have captured some bits to save for myself. my favorite kind of research:
you can love what you do but not always love the doing of it... itâs just exercise
âSHOW UP. TRY TOO HARD. WANT IT ALLâ
tonight before marlon and i spoke on the phone i made an effort to calm myself, take responsibility for only myself, and center myself in my own life. iâm SO glad i was able to, because it allowed me to go into the chat in a really relaxed and loving way, which allowed me to really forget myself and have so much fun catching each other up on today.
he is a good and actively loving partner, but it is SO important for me to remember that there are crucial ways in which i am a therapist to myself that he could never replicate or replace.
to expand/clarify, as an introverted person i have always thought in a sense of preparing myself to be around other people. this used to involve insecurity, but now rather than preparing myself to be âgood enoughâ for other people, i see time alone as a time for recalibration and reacquainting with myself so that when i meet someone i know where to put what they give me.