The Bushy Beards of Classical
In honor of Teddy Bear Day, we thought we’d showcase the closest thing we have in the classical music world: beards!
First on any list of the facially furry would have to be Johannes Brahms. Photos and images make him seem to rival Santa Claus. But there is doubt that the bushy beard was his own. Â Supposedly a stash of fake beards, in varying shades of grey, was discovered under the floorboards of his Vienna apartment! What was he hiding?
Brahms’ beard had length, but Tchaikovsky had a fullness to his face fuzz that makes him a serious competitor. We see him neatly trimmed yet with volume, volume, volume in most photographs. (There’s also a joke that Tchaikovsky had two beards, but quickly realized that one was a mistake.)
The eclectic Erik Satie may have obsessed over his facial hair with the same fanaticism that led him to hoard umbrellas and eat only white foods. There was definitely much time spent trimming in the Satie household, and perhaps frequently clogged drains.
French composer Charles Gounod eschewed shaving and presented his crop in two distinct sculpted hemispheres, if the images we have of him are accurate.
And Richard Wagner sported a neck beard, perhaps for the simian look.
Czech out Antonin Dvorak and tell us he wasn’t the original hipster.
Rimsky-Korsakov had a tousled tangle that would make Giants outfielder Hunter Pence look impeccably groomed in comparison.
What might have been a Brahmsian mane on Jacques Offenbach became mutton chops when the lite opera composer continued to shave his chin throughout the hirsute harvesting process. And if we’re going to include partial beards, the legendary moustache of Edward Elgar deserves a mention.
Face it (ahem), this is far from a thorough study of the wackiest whiskers in classical music. We’ll let Rik Malone fill in more fuzzy facial stylings beginning at 8pm on KDFC Tonight.
