âWell, the good news is, youâre beginning to look like a human again,â Kakuzu observed. He pulled the plug at the end of the tub and started to drain the water with the filth, running the tap again at a warm temperature to replace the water they were losing. He used a fresh cloth to wash Deidaraâs abdomen, and rinsed it out to wash his thighs and between them. âAt least you donât smell anymore,â he pointed out, using a dollop of shampoo to make the water bubbly again.Â
   The next thing he did was attack Deidaraâs hair, using a small container and the running water to wash the conditioner and tangles out. Finally, when Kakuzu could get a comb through it without any fuss, he started to massage shampoo through the lengths of Deidaraâs hair.Â
   âA hell toiletâŠ?â Kakuzu finally asked. Heâd done his best to avoid ever needing to break away from anything sharingan based. Kakuzu never wanted to know the feeling of being trapped in any of Itachiâs advanced genjutsus, nevermind some second rate sharingan user like Kakashi. Deidaraâs experiences, however, could provide him with information valuable to any fights in the future.Â
   Kakuzu pet his hand through Deidaraâs hair, guiding the water through to rinse away the suds, and scratching his nails lightly against the scalp to make sure heâd washed through thoroughly, then went over once more with the conditioner, letting it sit. He rinsed out the cloth with a bit of soap, and then took Deidaraâs chin between his fingers, scrubbing away left over make up, dirt, and saliva from sleep.Â
   âHm,â he observed. Deidara didnât look half bad without his make up on. In fact, wet, and clean, and smelling like soap instead of various bodily fluids, Deidara looked half way attractive. âI would say weâre making some progress. Once your hair is rinsed and dried, and youâre in some clothes, you might look half way decent again. Weâll get something to eat, and start on your physical therapy from there.â
Well, he was really getting the works here, wasnât he?Â
Deidara seemed to remember hearing that some pervert types actually paid real money for treatment like this, except with scantily clad women doing the washing and presumably more of, uh... that kind of touching. Maybe it was just to offset how humiliated he still was by this whole thing, but picturing the money-grubbing Kakuzu making his millions in a similar way had him trying to hold back a snicker, then snorting softly when his will failed him.
It was still pretty fucking embarrassing though, especially once the nasty slurry of bathwater, greying soap and his general days-old grossness drained away, leaving him sitting there in the nude, trying to angle his leg to hide himself from too plain a view while Kakuzu washed him, and he thoroughly ignored all sensation. Maybe going in for a second round of hair pampering after the water began to lap at the tops of his thighs and hips anew was a tactical choice on his part. A reward for getting the awkward bit over and done with.
Psh. Like he was some kid or something. Although he couldnât deny that those strong, decisive hands working his hair into a lather, then rinsing and combing out the tangles before repeating, definitely did something to help him loosen up and relax.
âRight,â he went on, not really registering any bemusement in Kakuzuâs tone. Hell-toilet was a perfectly adequate description, of course, but maybe still not perfect since this was something theyâd likely be facing again in the future. Even with his eyes closed against the occasional rivulets that slipped down his face, Deidara was clearly irked, his chin thrust into the air and eyebrows pinched. âLike... it was spinning and spinning and spinning, yeah, and sucking my actual fucking arm into... well, it felt like it was all going into a point at the centre, as small as a pinhole. Like a whirlpool in space! It was only by my own pure grit that I managed to just get pinched at the elbow and not lose the whole damn thing, mm.â
He still couldnât figure out what the hell it was though, and that bugged him. But at least heâd made it out of there with both his arms... eventually. Itâd been a wild ride, overall. He considered himself lucky to have gotten out, especially since he didnât even have his masterpiece fully prepared at this stage...
The hand directing his chin caused sky blues to snap open suddenly, and a look of pure rage and affront to flash lightning fast over his features before settling into his usual proud scowl. Heâd gotten quite used to the other touches so far, had seriously enjoyed the nail on scalp action, so this one was a little jarring. But he tensed his features as Kakuzu wiped his face to try and retain some dignity. Last thing he needed was for a fellow Akatsuki member to see not only that heâd been briefly panicked, but his soft face squidging all over under his ministrations. Heâd never recover from it. Â
âGee, thanks...â He grumbled when that came to an end, sort of regretting itâd be over once his hair was all rinsed out. Not that he expected Kakuzu to indulge him excessively, especially since it seemed he had a whole agenda planned out. Itâd probably do him some good... he couldnât stand that level stasis again. Blinking away the water clinging to his lashes, Deidaraâs eyes remained heavy-lidded until he chanced a glance up at Kakuzu, who appeared to be observing him. His heart started to beat a little faster then, and the mouth on his chest shifted. It almost seemed to curl at the corners where the stitches didnât quite reach.
He snapped away his gaze, and leaned against the outer side of the tub, then the inner. His ass had stuck to the bottom of it. Not that he was going to mention it.
âItâs not like I really give a damn about my looks, mm.â For some reason he couldnât say, he felt the need to assert the fact, now that he felt a little better. âBut itâs just plain embarrassing to be all gross and stinky. So... thanks.â