What is this bit for?

just a space to ramble. come message me, I'm always down to beta things.icon from snowysaur.

[11thfempachi]

Girls just wanna have fun

[ellisonwongparty]

kinda need a hangover-esque au where the raider's 2014 cup win coincides with ilya's 22nd birthday so the team parties in vegas and connors, marleau and ilya wake up in a hotel room they did not book with no memory of last night a baby in the bathroom an exotic bird eating bar peanuts out of ilya's designer jeans and 34 angry omnious texts that ilya can't figure out the context of from shane

[ellisonwongparty]

happy birthday ilya rozanov.

--

"Yo! Who's fucking baby is this?!"

Ilya slowly blinks into consciousness. His head is pounding. He sits up, and realizes that he'd fallen asleep on the floor, with a woman's underwear stuck to his right cheek. Ilya peels it off, makes an interested face when he also realizes its sticky, and tries to survey the damage from last night. The first thought he has is this is not my hotel room.

Connors is already up, fully dressed and anxiously pacing back and forth. He seems to be distressed about something in the bathroom, shouting unintelligibly, English too panicked and incoherent for Ilya to make out what he's saying. Marleau is still facedown, also on the floor, completely naked. Ilya looks down. Miraculously, he has clothes on. They are not, however, the clothes he started the night in. He's 99% sure he's wearing a woman's crop top. And women's pajama shorts. He's also fairly sure they are bedazzled on the butt. "Guys! Wake the fuck up!" Connors shouts again. Ilya starts feeling his way around the floor for his clothes, phone, and wallet. His search gets him to peek up from the suite's coffee table, which brings into view a gorgeous exotic bird, almost as tall as the men in the room, voraciously eating something from Ilya's jeans, which hang suspended on the hotel's chandelier. To put it bluntly, the room is trashed. Furniture that isn't broken is overturned to its side. Strange stains that smell alcoholic in nature pervade the hotel floor. Women's thongs, bras, and other undergarments scatter themselves all across the room, with their owners nowhere in sight. Ilya walks up to the exotic bird. The bird stops his eating, turns a yellow, predatory eye in Ilya's direction. Ilya pets the bird once, twice, and then spots his phone hanging out of his back pocket, to his relief. Ilya fishes it out of the air, and finds a charger conveniently strewn to the side. He plugs his phone in. He leaves the bird so it can keep eating at his jeans. While he waits for his phone to power up, he walks over, nudges Marleau in the ribs. "Wake up," Ilya orders. Marly groans. Ilya nudges him again. "Captain's orders," he says, deadly serious.

Marly, on command, slowly comes to. "Jesus fuck, what happened last night?" Marly groans. He realizes he's not wearing any clothes, looks at Ilya, then shrugs. He then checks the ceiling, at the chandelier, and the bird stretching its long magnificent neck to feast on Ilya's designer jeans. "Yo, who's bird is that?" "We can worry about the bird later!" Connors shouts, flying back in from the bathroom. "We are three grown men with a fucking baby that isn't ours in our bathtub! We are going to get arrested if we don't identify who it is right now!"

Ilya and Marly make eye contact with each other, making a face, before joining Connors to head back into the bathroom. Ilya almost trips and falls on an empty Svedka bottle that he kicks to the side with a disgusted sneer.

Three grown men peek over the edge of a bathtub. There is indeed a baby in there.

Well," Ilya says, cheerily. "It has brown eyes, so it cannot be mine."

"Is it like a dog situation?" Marly asks, genuine. "Where they like, come with identification tags?" "Maybe we should take it to the police," Connors says. "And we leave out the fact that it was here all night surrounded by drugs and booze."

Ilya ignores both of them as he walks back into the suite's common room. His phone blinks to life--10 percent battery. It helpfully reminds him that his flight to Moscow is in 12 hours. Ilya swipes the notification away. He dials Svetlana's number.

She doesn't pick up. He calls again.

"Bluh," Svetlana answers.

"Where are you?" Ilya asks.

Shuffling. "Our hotel room?" Svetlana grumbles. "Where the fuck are you?"

Ilya switches to FaceTime. Svetlana picks up. She looks terrible.

"Look," Ilya orders. He swings his phone around the room. He holds for a couple more seconds on the bird, so Svetlana can get a good look at it. Svetlana hums appreciatively, so Ilya takes her into the bathroom. "Hey Svetlana," his teammates chime. Svetlana grunts in greeting. The three of them, plus digital Svetlana, peer over the bathtub.

"Do you guys remember anything from last night?" Ilya asks the room.

"Nothing," Connors says, despondent.

"Nothing," Marly confirms.

"Nothing," Svetlana says, cheerily. "I do know who's baby that is though."

All three of them swing their heads to Ilya's phone. "What?" Connor asks, hopefully.

Svetlana smirks. "Yeah, it's Marly's."

Silence. Then--"Fuck off Svetlana," Marly responds.

"No, I'm being deadass," she says, somber. "Marly married a stripper last night, and that's her baby."

Even more silence. Ilya, Connors, and Marly look at each other, stunned.

Then, Ilya bursts out into uproarious laughter.

"Daddy Marly!" Ilya crows. Svetlana starts laughing too, joining in. "Daddy Marly! Daddy Marly!"

"You two shut the fuck up!" Marly orders. "I didn't marry anybody--"

Connors' face is white. "Marly, your hand."

They all look down. There's a cheap, chapel ring on his fourth finger. Ilya starts laughing so hard he almost falls over.

"Svetlana," Marly begs, desperate. With fatherhood on the line he's locked back into life. "Do you remember anything else from last night? Do you know how we got here?"

"Literally no," Svetlana says, already burying her face back into the hotel pillow. "I only remember you getting married because it was so fucking funny. Then, we got back in the limo, I blacked out, the next thing I knew I am back in my hotel room," she waggles her eyebrows. "Seems like you guys had fun without me though."

"Come over," Ilya demands. "Help us solve the mystery of the missing baby. We can get burritos after."

Svetlana laughs, indignant, "Fuck that. You guys are halfway across The Strip from me. You come here."

"We literally cannot leave this room," Connors says, panicked. "Until we absolve ourselves of all guilt for everything that happened here last night."

Ilya sighs, starting to get irritated. "This is not a big deal, okay?" Ilya says, to the room. "I wake up to worse when I party in Moscow. Fix is very simple. We talk to hotel, tell them we do not know where we are, they insist we pay for damage we pay damage and leave and someone comes in to clean everything up. We tell call girl service about Marly's wife and tell them we have her baby, we call police about bird, and I head to airport. Easy peezy, as you say in your country."

"You aren't curious about what happened?" Marly asks. "You don't want to find out how we got here?"

"What is there to find out?" Ilya says, easily. "We have fun fucking night on my birthday and we black out. Is price of doing business."

As he says this Ilya opens his phone, reads through more of his messages.

His heart sinks into his asshole when he sees 1 new message from one Jane.

To start, everything from their text thread has been wiped from his phone. This is horrible news to Ilya, whose nighttime ritual the past six months had been reading all of Hollander's messages, jerking off to the memories of when Hollander let him fuck him, before continuing to not reply to any of his correspondences.

Also, it means he has no explanation for the single text that remains in their conversation.

Jane: goodbye, rozanov.

Ilya hasn't responded to Hollander in over six months. Yet, this singular message is enough to get him type, panicked--

Ilya: lol wtf are you talking about

He hits send. The message doesn't go through. Ilya's heart starts pounding in his ears.

He does something desperate. He calls Hollander.

The call doesn't go through.

Ilya has pissed off enough hook ups to know exactly what this is.

Hollander's blocked him.

The little fucking asshole.

"We must retrace our steps," Ilya announces, out loud to the room. "Starting with pregame bar."

"Yo, are you serious Cap?" Marly asks, hopeful. Connors looks equally relieved that Ilya has decided to take charge of the situation.

"I'm going back to sleep," Svetlana says, definitive, and hangs up.

"Men," Ilya says gravely. He clutches his phone tightly in his hands. He's already brainstorming ways he will try to get back in contact with Hollander. "We need to solve the mystery of what the fuck happened at my 22nd birthday party."

[valtsv]

I love your "they ring the same bells for weddings and funerals" tag bc I work as a bell-ringer at one of the few churches in my city where you still have to ring the bell manually. and we do ring the same bell whether it's a wedding or a funeral! but ☝️ we also ring it if the local sports team wins at sports (the secret third thing that is neither a wedding nor a funeral)

the three universal human experiences: love, death, and sports

[rival2lover]

go back and tell it

heated rivalry x hard feelings/loveless by lorde featuring mixed-media animation

[acoester-comics]

[knucklecurve]

on (sub)textual kink, genre romance conventions, and ‘the eyes to see’

i recently enjoyed a really good post discussing the plausibly deniable BDSM in heated rivalry and how the subtext is there “for those with the eyes to see.” this was around the same time that we saw the post about interpretations having a strong basis in the source material being reblogged back-to-back by people who are diametrically opposed in their interpretations. this made me laugh and it also made me think—because as much as i personally remain a loyal soldier in the war on strict domtops on the side of strict domtops, i also don’t want to act like every person who disagrees with me is an idiot acting in bad faith. that would be in bad faith lol. so i wanted to think more about why this disconnect is happening—how it is possible that there is such a wide spate of headcanons about shane and ilya’s onscreen dynamic and their offscreen/future sex life—and i think the answer has something to do with genre norms and the fantasy inherent in a romance narrative.

the indulgence of a romance novel, at its core, is that characters are able to engage in their deepest (and often kinky) desires without having to ask or negotiate for it. the term “bodice ripper” literally refers to the ravishment fantasies present in a lot of mass market romance, in which the female protagonist is subjected to what would, in real life, be considered nonconsensual sexual assault, but is permissible in-narrative because her inner monologue shows that she wants it, however deep that desire is buried within her psyche. you get what you want (forbidden romance, a life of luxury, kinky sex) without having to acknowledge your want for it. Bella Twilight gets to pretend she doesn’t want a lavish vampire wedding. Anastasia 50 Shades gets to roll her eyes at a first-class plane seat.

in heated rivalry, shane is the primary recipient of all his unasked-for desires coming true, and ilya the rakish, domineering love interest (or perhaps the horse in the horse girl movie). shane gets neatly cruised in a locker room shower after ilya intuits his gayness through a few charged glances. shane doesn’t have to initiate the second hookup and barely has to prompt the exchange of phone numbers. shane never has to request to bottom. as far as their sexual encounters go, ilya, like most fictional rakes/semes/doms, comes factory-programmed to fulfill all of shane’s deepest needs.

i don’t think it’s a particular point of disagreement that the domination and submission that occurs onscreen is unnegotiated. in the same way we are famously not watching shane douche in the bathroom, we are also not watching them pick out a safeword or compare BDSM test results. as vital as negotiation is to the practice of kink in real life, in a romance narrative it takes away the frisson of the unexpected, the suspense of the will-they-won’t-they as the sexual and the emotional careen closer and closer. good communication is boring to read about. getting a dubiously negotiated quasi-exhibitionist phone call blowjob is sexy.

so why, when we all watched the exact same scene in which shane carries ilya’s bags into the cottage, are some of us pointing to the screen and saying #hisservicesubmission, while others are admiring shane for taking charge and looking out for his man’s bruised ribs? i think the difference is in whether the reader is accepting the pseudo-kink that’s inherent to romance narratives, versus extending what is implied into something more explicit. i imagine that shane is getting out of sex with ilya something that is similar to what subs get out of negotiated dynamics and scenes with a dom (and vice versa), and thus i extend that belief into a headcanon about what shane and ilya might enjoy about a more explicit form of total power exchange or consensual nonconsent. for a reader who has less interest in those more explicit dynamics, the cigar is just a cigar and the dynamic is simply one of playfulness and intimacy. no one is reading the text wrong, we’re just differing in what lines we choose to extend.

[ellisonwongparty]

what makes me laugh about the shane/ilya/svetlana love triangle is that from shane's end shane is like. :( gosh svetlana is so gorgeous and she's russian and she knows ilya's family and they have so much history and she makes ilya laugh..... how can i ever compare.

and then from svetlana's end it's like. if i end up as ilya rozanov's wag i will have actually hit rock bottom. anytime i close my eyes and imagine the worst version of myself, i see myself endgame hetero married to ilya rozanov. imagine being a rozanova. haha. holy shit. could never be me. if ten years down the line i am in a monogamous marriage with ilya rozanov it means i have completely given up on my life. everytime i try to picture us raising kids together i always see us in the house irina died in. no thanks. nooo thanks. I am good. i am good. he gives good dick though. but shane can have him.

[escuerzoresucitado]

[thestoryofaslut]

about fucking time

[fluffylandshark]

Reblog to give the prev person some dopamine.

[thenihilistbear]

THIS IS A PART TWO OF A TWO PART THREAD ABOUT TLG AND UNRIVALED. AS SHOULD BE OBVIOUS, SPOILERS ABOUND

Part Two:

Do You Want Romance or Do You Want Reality, Because You Can't Have Both: Shane's Legacy

(Part one found here:)

💬 0  🔁 0  ❤️ 1 · SPOILERS FOR TLG FOLLOW. This is the first part of a two part post because this one got away from me, and is crazy long

Let's do the discourse.

And you're not going to like it.

My bonafides for this discussion:

1. Long term dedicated observer of NHL hockey.

2. Casual observer of pop culture, specifically sports scandals in relation to this thread.

3. Person who lives in this shitty, stupid, racist world.

LET'S FUCKIN GOOO.

First of all, we need to establish some simple realities about the GCU.

1. Shane and Ilya are the main characters. The GCU begins (2008) and ends (Unrivaled) based on their story.

2. Shane and Ilya have a joint path, but different tales. Ilya's is found family. Shane's is the hero's journey. The hero starts out strong, loses everything, and returns home changed for the better. I mention it now because people need to understand that adversity isn't about punishment, it's about growth.

3. There was always supposed to be a seventh book; RR thought she would write about Luca but couldn't and cancelled it. Since Luca is a Centaur, I assume Shane and Ilya's story would figure prominently as well. But now we get Unrivaled instead and I for one am so happy.

4. The GCU is set in a slightly better version of the NHL, but it's still, specifically, the NHL, and has all the rules that govern the NHL universe, like salary caps.

5. We know the villain is the NHL, and if we don't know that already GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. But it's also going to be a shitty podcast, and conservative fan movement.

6. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY it will be covering how Shane feels about the changes, about not being captain, about leaving the legacy he built in Montreal, and his friends. So like, can we all fucking chill on that? She knows. We will get that story.

But I fear many fans will never be happy. Because Unrivaled will only be covering that first year, and this is still a romance.

My guess is, the podcasters and the cons will be endlessly discussing Tripgate, but through the magic of analytics and the sheer power of the GOATed Centaurs, they will all have to grudgingly admit that Shane is the greatest player to have ever played the game. This happens because they win the cup in 4 4-game sweeps, and every team will say "Jesus we had no chance" and Montreal admin will come crying and beg Shane to retire his jersey or something.

I'm being hyperbolic.

I do think Shane will have his legacy restored somehow because as I have stated, that's the only thing in question after Tripgate.

This is a romance novel, and therefore legacy restoration in a single season isn't unrealistic. We're promised that HEA, and frankly I demand it because I have read and watched enough depressing queer stories.

But a lot of people want this story to be more real. More like what they want to happen in real life, or what would actually happen in real life. They want Shane's redemption in a way that categorically retores him to his previous state and fixes all the ways they feel he's been wronged.

I'm gonna hold your hand while I say this:

That will never happen.

Once again I will ask you. Do you want romance or do you want reality? Because you can't have both, on a deeply fundamental level.

I have said many times, you need to know hockey to truly understand these books. Rachel Reid is a Canadian. She lives hand in hand with hockey every day, and has all her life.

I cannot fully explain how completely intertwined hockey is with Canadian culture.

Once of our most beloved children's books is The Hockey Sweater by Roch Carrier.

In 4th grade, our novel study was Mice At Centre Ice. The Mice play the Rats for the Cheddar Cup. The mice are very clearly the Montreal Canadiens, and the Rats are very clearly the Boston Bruins, and no one needed that explained because WE LIVED IN CANADA.

Degrassi has a whole bunch of storylines about a MJHL team.

Bon Cop Bad Cop is about hockey. A lot of our movies involve hockey, a little.

I hadn't watched NHL hockey in 22 years when I watched Heated Rivalry, and the second the sports commentators started talking about Shane i said to my friend Tavin, "Is he supposed to be Sidney Crosby?" Because even as a person adamantly not watching NHL hockey, I KNOW WHO SIDNEY CROSBY IS. BECAUSE I'M CANADIAN.

Hockey is such a part of Canadian culture, a lot of Canadians know more about hockey than they ever realized, and probably didn't think twice about the storylines in Heated Rivalry or the GCU because they... just made sense.

I PERSONALLY didn't think about them until I read all the ruminating online.

That's why I knew that Trip!gate was bullshit.

That's why I knew Ilya was 100% recognized in Ottawa but the fans kept their mouths shut.

That's why I knew Fabian saved Ryan's life, and wasn't some manipulative bastard.

That's why I knew Ottawa was a lateral move for Shane, an upgrade for Wyatt, and a punishment for Troy. Even though they're all going TO THE EXACT SAME TEAM.

That's why i knew coming out would be politically dangerous for Ilya til he got his Permanent Residency Card, but he'd be fine after.

And I knew coming out would always, ALWAYS, damage Shane's career.

In case I haven't made it abundantly clear, the NHL and the culture around it are terrible. It's a disgusting stew of toxic masculinity, racism, and homophobia.

Shane isn't white, and he's the greatest hockey player of all time. And the good ol' hockey boys fucking hate that.

The pundits

The journalists

The commentators

The coaches

The owners

The fans

When Shane is outed, they finally have proof! Shane didn't win those three cups, his pansy boyfriend fixed games for him!

Never mind that Ilya and Shane only played each other four times a year in an 82 game season. Those four games were DECISIVE (they weren't). And when the playoffs happened? Obviously they decided who would win each round! Never mind that they would only have ever played one round against each other per season. Never mind Montreal dominating in every other series, or posting the most points over all, or ranked highest in the league.

It wasn't Hollander being good. It was Hollander cheating.

So. Romance or Reality?

Cuz in Romance? The Hockey Apostles, led by Gay Hockey Jesus Scott Hunter, use the power of friendship and rainbows (and social media I guess) to bring about meaningful change in the NHL.

In Reality? The NHL institutes Pride Nights, then bans Pride Tape, then reinstitutes Pride Tape, but changes Pride Nights to Hockey Is For Everyone, so they don't have to openly welcome LGBTQIA players, and risk losing their audience in conservative Eastern European countries.

In Romance? Dallas Kent is arrested, goes to trial and goes to jail.

In Reality? The Hockey Canada 5 are shuffled back into the pro leagues.

Romance? Crowell makes a public apology, steps down, and is replaced by someone new and energetic who knows The Queers are the future

Reality? Bettman never steps down, and when he dies he will be replaced with his clone.

Romance? Shane's legacy is restored, he tells Montreal to kick rocks, retires when he's 40 with ten cups under his belt and has 17 movies made about him.

In reality? Shane's legacy will never be fully restored. Ever.

Let's get depressing.

Match-fixing, for people who don't watch sports, is the process by which people directly involved in a game (athletes, refs, coaches) do something to create a predetermined winner, usually for gambling purposes.

Hilariously, there aren't any known accusations of match fixing in the NHL because everyone knows THE STANLEY CUP FINALS ARE RIGGED.

Through officials making calls that favour the chosen winner, and GMs benching key players to give the chosen team an advantage, the playoffs have been predetermined by Gary Bettman since 1994.

He decides which team needs a popularity boost, and that team wins the Cup. It can be for a variety of reasons, but usually to make hockey more popular in a chosen city, and by extension, boost revenues.

And everyone knows that not doing what Bettman asks is the end of your career.

One day we will talk about Game 6 2004. But not today.

Hockey is a team sport. One single player playing badly cannot decide an entire game.

So lets look at boxing instead.

This is going somewhere, i swear

Boxing is a sport where match fixing accusations run rampant. Probably the first ever match fixing accusation happened in boxing in, I kid you fucking not, 388 BCE, when Eupolus of Thessaly was accused of bribing his four opponents. They were all fined, so I guess they were all found guilty.

Let's go for something a little more contemporary, and also a little more complicated.

I bet you've seen this picture:

That is Muhammad Ali standing over Sonny Liston, having just won a match in 1965 with a so called phantom punch.

Ali is literally yelling "get up!"

Both fights between Ali and Liston were accused of being rigged, but this was never proven.

Nor was it disproven.

The allegations followed Ali and Liston for the remainder of their careers, and are still being talked about now, by weirdos like me, to talk about the damage an unprovable allegation can do to a career.

You watched the video right? The video of the hockey players tripping?

I wanted you to take a couple things from that video.

One, as I already told you, is that people trip in hockey constantly, over nothing, for no reason at all.

The second is more important though.

Can you prove that any of the players who tripped without outside interference didn't do it on purpose?

What is your proof? How can you tell?

You can't. It's impossible.

That's the point.

In Romance? The definitive footage is found, it is absolutely proven Shane was tripped by a chuck of ice or a loose skate blade, or a fucking pixie, or even better, a team mate who was particularly shitty to Shane, and Shane is exonerated completely.

The podcasters, the pundits, the fans, everyone has to admit that they were wrong, Shane would never, they all apologize and resign from whatever they're involved in, Shane graciously forgives Montreal, Montreal retires his number, and Shane plays til he's 40, wins the Cup every year, and retires the All Time Greatest.

The Hockey Hall of Fame wait period is waived, he's inducted the summer he wins his last cup, (also winning MVP, both regular season and playoffs, joint w/Ilya), Ilya is inducted at the same time (wait period also waived due to Being Awesome).

The induction speech is given by that season's Rookie of the Year, who says he was inspired to keep playing hockey because Shane and Ilya coming out so bravely changed his life when he was 12.

In reality? Shane never fully puts the allegations to rest. He can't. Intentional tripping is impossible to prove or disprove. Shane is asked about the trip at every presser in Unrivaled, and it comes up from time to time for the rest of his career and is a whole fucking chapter in his unauthorized biography.

RR tried repeatedly to give us the romance ending.

Shane goes to Ottawa for Ilya! That's a romance HEA.

Okay but his career is attacked.

But! Ottawa is Good Now!

Not good enough.

Well Montreal and Boston weren't good but Shane and Ilya fixed them, and they can do it again, together!

Both of them should have never had to give up their draft teams.

Well okay, but Ilya wants to have a Canadian passport, so...

Yeah but he misses Russia.

Well, actually...

HE MISSES RUSSIA.

Okay well, hey! Now he and Shane can live together, and he has told Shane his greatest fear, that his depression will never go away, and Shane says "I love you regardless" and David tells Ilya that Ilya is a second son to him, and Ilya is so happy, and Shane knows their wedding song, and they have a dog and maybe get a cat!

Shane doesn't sacrifice enough! Ilya doesn't sacrifice enough! This is racist! This is xenophobic! This is...

An impossible situation.

You can have your romance HEA, or you can have your hard hitting realistic take on the NHL.

But you cannot have both.

If you want your real life take down, may I recommend We Breed Lions by Rick Westhead.

If you want a fictional, brutal takedown of hockey culture, may I recommend Beartown by Fredrik Backman (thank you for showing me this, @whenthebeebuzzed). TW: SA

If you want a tragic story of abuse in hockey culture, please Google Sheldon Kennedy NHL and also The Hockey Canada 5. TW: Sexual Assault, CSAM

But if you want queer joy and hockey in the same place, you should read the Game Changers Series. A series so honest about the NHL but so loving of hockey that I fell back in love with hockey as well, and want that for all of you.

RR imagines an NHL better than the real one, but in the end, it is still the NHL. You need to live with the fact that your ideas of redemption are simply not feasible within the confines of that world.

Shane will not be going back to Montreal. That is a step backwards for him.

Montreal will probably not forgive him, but the rest of the league probably will.

Shane will probably never have the C, but he'll get the A, and he, Ilya and Bood will create a locker room culture so accepting that soon it's adopted across the league, because in RR's NHL? Things CAN get better.

But it's still the NHL. The C will never be anything but symbolic. The lines will never mean anything important.

Maybe the Centaurs are like the Pens, and the core group stays together forever til they all retire the same year.

Maybe Ilya retires first so they can adopt, or maybe they adopt and hire a nanny that travels with them on the road and they raise their child on the rink.

Or maybe they're happy after three cups and retire early so they can start a family. But whatever the Fairytale NHL becomes, the metrics non hockey fans seem to be applying to a "good" ending will never matter.

I'm sorry.

[evercelle]

favorite story i've never told

[sinni-ok-sessi]

I do think the ability to emoji-react is a net win for human communication. not only does it give you an outlet for 'I see and acknowledge this but don't have a verbal response' but it also adds a pleasing alethiometer element to things

my coworker announces that he's off to the dentist. someone reacts with a tooth emoji. is this a statement of dentist solidarity? a wish for my coworker to return with more (or fewer?) teeth than he set out with? simple word association? who can say

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[headspace-hotel]

They sting. I got ouched by one a couple days ago. The vest is for your protection.

[headspace-hotel]

@phillipfancypants

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

“I wish I was more powerful, like you guys. Even casting fireball takes it right out of me some days.”

“Hey, none of that. You're a valued member of the team, no matter what your power level.”

“I just don't understand how you can tear open that portal to the fire dimension so easily.”

“… fire dimension?”

“Yeah. Where the fire lives. Before you summon it. For fireballs.”

“Dude. We've been creating explosions by igniting flammable gases in the air. What the fuck have you been doing?”

[gumuhit]

unaligned (2016)

[homunculus-argument]

I've been fed, walked and watered and I've slept enough and been out of the internet and I'm doing crafts.

Why am I still angry.

[homunculus-argument]

I walked right into this one like a blind horse into a revolving door.

[puckwanger]

— dulce et decorum est pro patria mori

[closet-trumpet-monkey]

Resolutions

A few years ago I made a fandom based new years resolution, to comment on every single fic I read that year, whether it was pwp or as many times I could pause a long chaptered fic. Didn't matter what kind. It was actually really nice and I think I heard back from every single author which was crazy because some fics were published when I was born. Tbf that one was a fandom from a show that aired before I was born too.

But you don't have to wait for new year to start a new thing. Although I'd really like to podfic some works, I've decided my new resolution is to organise my fic bookmarks. Tag them in my personal library system, write down the title and author.

Way too many of my beloved bookmarks have been deleted recently (and probably for then same reason although I can't prove it) and I think it'd be neat to record everything properly so I can keep recommending my fave fics.

In my head, I'm on holiday so I have time to do this... lets see if I can