2. I have a problem with âglorified hand holdersâ Do you want to know what EMTâs do? What we see? It could be an old man dying of cancer, or it could be an infant that has had their skull cracked in by an abusive mother. âFaking PTSD shitâ Seriously? Where do you come from? Who are you? No, weâre not in combat. No, we donât get shot at (hopefully). But we wake up in a panic in the middle of the night over, and over, because we think our radios went off, even when we leave them downstairs. We still hear that bloodcurdling scream of a mother when you tell her her child is dead. We hear the sobbing and yelling of family as you do CPR on a PT you know cannot be saved. You can still smell the blood of the motorcyclist who wasnât wearing a jacket, still see their skin as it clung onto the ground as you tried to roll him onto a backboard. You can still smell the burnt flesh of someone who you pulled from a car fire. We feel the need to check our radios every time a call goes out to just make sure it isnât an address we recognize. But then it IS an address you recognize and youâre suddenly living in your worst nightmare, and looking down at a friend, a family member, a former teacher, a coworker dying in front of you. But yeah, weâve seen nothing. Suck it up. We listen to the stories of abuse, we SEE abuse, and can do nothing to help. We never know what happens to our PTâs. We replay calls in our heads over and over, wondering what we could have done differently, even if we try to forget it. We sometimes find ourselves questioning humanity, and wondering how some can be so horrible. We go home and hug our loved ones tight because weâre thankful they werenât the ones in the blue car that was smashed to smithereens, the same blue car our sister drives, the blue car that sent made your heart drop and want to throw up all at the same time when you pulled up on scene. You hate yourself for the relief you feel when you see it isnât your sister. But weâre just glorified hand holders. You hear tones going off when you try to sleep, and then youâre in a restless state of half awake, because your body is anticipating a call, even when youâre off shift. You see someoneâs family around town a few weeks later, and you hang your head because you canât bring yourself to look them in the eye.Â
jacobvanloon
gummygunk
snowghoul
germansingergirl
kaledo-art
theartofmadeline
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annaxmalina
