We drive, fast and hilly turns, like our meeting. Revelations and excitement. He is in his element – the roads at night, exploring and running up hills. *looking at a steep rocky path* “Doesn’t that just make you want to run to the top, to see what’s next?!” That’s how I imagined him living his life. Sitting next to him in the truck, the only CD he has, my favourite Talking Heads, up loud windows down hands held. There with him I am in my element. Peaceful but bubbling. Together we drive, we hike, we sit on cliff’s edge and share ourselves. The night sky revolves around us. Three red lights tall and high flashing hello. Hang your head over the edge, upside down and look at the distant tree-line in the water! Reflected symmetry. I look into his eyes and I see myself looking back. Absolute trust and comfort. I can speak, I can move, I can do anything I wish and it is accepted, moreover adored. His art vivid and colourful, expressing more than is capable through words. I glimpse him in those shapes and colours. But I don’t have to try to see him – he is opening himself and willingly showing it all to me. Magical music I haven’t heard before strikes a chord within me as he takes my hand. Dancing on the carpet in his room, both grinning and totally lost in the moment. Clothes being removed, all doubts and inhibitions removed too. The bare naked exposure of the true Self. All around and away we go! His singing kisses my lips and face, “Just because I’m losing doesn’t make me a loser, yet!” Hot shower, wet hair, raccoon eyes, clean skin and bodies and minds. Renewed and refreshed. I can sense him looking at me as I wash my face. I have suds in my eyes and cant see but I know he hasn’t taken his eyes off me. And in all my vulnerability, it feels good. We agree tshirts are better than singlets, and I pull on a soft salmon pink. And in that moment, looking at myself in the mirror – no makeup, crazed damp hair, boy’s shirt – I feel completely beautiful. And I feel ME. I can sense who I am underneath everything, all my issues and perceived inadequacies, I get a flooding feeling of my Self. I couldn’t have imagined feeling this contentedness. It feels like a dream. I am Lady Daydream. High and sleepy, my big spoon to his little spoon, deep rumbling of soulful music to phase out into real dreams. Only for three hours. But I wake up blissed, feeling fluid relaxed muscles and a happy heart. He sips almond milk as he drives me home and goes on his way to work. Goodbyes don’t have to be hard, but I am leaving that afternoon, and I know the pain and longing after the Goodbye is waiting for me. “Goodbye Romany Pope.” It was a Once in a Lifetime meeting. A vivid connection through a crowd of thousands and a world of millions. He calls me his silver bird. Because I landed and then flew away…
janainaart
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