Logbook of the Frontier Nobles' Falconry & Lava Bathing Club

Vintage tumblrina from central Europe // Not a GOAT fanblog

[clouds-of-wings]

Mh. This "vegan pizza margherita" is very intricate and creative. They made a regular margherita and left out the cheese. Brilliant minds in action.

[clouds-of-wings]

Douglas just gave me FOUR perfume samples with an 11€ order, today is a good day. Except for the fact that I destroyed my earphones. But I have 2 other pairs, so it's not that bad.

[clouds-of-wings]

[gremlininho]

[clouds-of-wings]

Okay after posting those three drafts in a row my blog is officially a Sweden fanblog I suppose...

[clouds-of-wings]

I had planned to read a flanörroman this summer and am finally getting around to it this past week! Förvillelser by Hjalmar Söderberg (can't quit you baby). It is so awesome. I'm nearly a quarter of the way through and absolutely nothing has happened. It's just about this uni student Tomas Weber and the people he knows. First he's in a café with his bro and they're talking about chicks. Then he's at home with his family and his mom tells him not to stay out too late while his sister wants him to write a report for her coz she doesn't feel like it and bro you're sooo much smarter than me im justz a girl fr....

Then he goes to the opera but he doesn't really care, he's just there for his social connections and then he parties with his bourgeois buddies in a reputable place because they're all frat boys with one eye fixed on their career and the other on hot chicks. Then he goes on a walk with this other girl even though he has a semi-gf and there's this seeeriously hot scene where she takes off her gloves and shows him her arms and he totally loses it... Sweden in the year 1900, folks!

I read a summary before I started reading the book because I figured this isn't really the kind of book that depends on narrative tension, and I know it gets darker later, it's a book about growing up, about fucking around aimlessly and then realizing you can't do that forever. For example if you have debts and your gf has already had to go to Norway because you impregnated her out of wedlock while also looking at the bare arms of other women. The fact that nothing happens is the point. Tomas is going around in circles, he has no goals. The attitude of the main character reminds me a lot of the protagonist of the last Söderberg book I read. By now I just wonder if this is what Söderberg was like himself. Kind of passive and self-interested, dishonest, only willing to act under great pressure, making women who are too good for him miserable.

[clouds-of-wings]

A piece of history, or so I claim. I have thusly declared this single CD the beginning of the symphonic metal genre. So say I, alas.

It's of course hard to pinpoint the exact beginning of any genre since everything is based on something older and I'm pretty sure no one ever comes up with something entirely new entirely out of nowhere (even if popular narratives like to claim otherwise because it's more entertaining that way).

Okay. But. Therion's Theli (1996) album is the album that is most frequently cited as the first "real" symphonic metal album. However. There are at least 2 albums that came out the same year, a few months earlier, that might also qualify for that position - Waltari's Yeah! Yeah! Die! Die! and Rage's Lingua Mortis. But I find those albums unsatisfying for the position. Waltari are generally a crossover act that does a little bit of everything and didn't really commit to the symphonic concept - even some of the tracks on the album aren't very symphonic at all. And Rage are also more incidentally symphonic (though they kept returning to it, like at this Wacken concert with orchestra), also the Lingua Mortis album isn't very... metal. It's more a metal band doing a neo-classical album. Whereas Therion a) balanced symphonic and metal and b) really committed to the concept and stayed with it.

So okay, let's say for the sake of convenience that Therion's previous album Lepaca Kliffoth (1995) was the first symphonic metal album then. That one came out before all that Rage and Waltari stuff, and it already has symphonic aspects on some tracks, most notably both a male and a female opera singer. But really that's only on three tracks, and the bass-baritone is even only on two tracks, and most of the rest is either "a little" symphonic or "not really at all".

So what's the perfect compromise? I will unilaterally crown the Beauty in Black single the birth hour of symphonic metal. It includes both the tracks with the soprano and the bass-baritone - the title track and the awesome Evocation of Vovin with its high-speed synth-string beginning. And it came out in August 1995. Assembling all the most symphonic tracks on a CD shows much more of a symphonic concept than having them on an album with some less symphonic ones.

And I just like the thought that the genre of symphonic metal, the one with the operatic singing and the large orchestras, was announced by a track called "The beauty in black", and even before that, the intro "Arrival of the darkest queen". It's just so epic! It's a little arbitrary, but it feels really satisfying.

And now I own the CD, hell yeah!

---

Also, fun fact that I only just learned: The soprano, Claudia-Maria Mokri, also sings on Celtic Frost's "To Mega Therion" album, which the band Therion was named after!

[clouds-of-wings]

Sune och hans värld: Pussjakten [<- abandonware(?) download link], a children's point and click adventure from Sweden that I decided to play after I happened to see some screenshots on tumblr, is in fact a really fun experience. I've started so many games recently that didn't impress me at all, here I find one I DO like and it's one that's made for children about a (probably?) 9 year old boy who desperately wants to kiss a girl, any girl really.

It's charming, the humor made me laugh out loud a couple of times, and you can play this song on a jukebox in a burger restaurant. I haven't finished the game yet though.

The goth girl who likes nothing more than poems about death and her three deadly pet spiders. I totally bombed with her. Took her on a date to a movie about spiders, but my stupid little brother threw a stink bomb into the cinema and she blamed me for that for some reason.

As if I can control him! The first thing he said to me was: "Hey my wallet fell in the storm drain, if you help me get it back I won't throw dog shit at you :)" Turns out it wasn't even his wallet! I had to threaten him with jail before he gave it to me.

My nerd buddy who will spend his summer holidays gaming no matter what else I suggest. Suspiciously fast at procuring the phone numbers of girls from "the internet". This is from 2004. He is not getting them from a social media site. These kids are 9, just a reminder.

I'm always so nice and helpful. Here's my advice to this man whose clothes have shrunk in the wash. Don't be sad, your clothes are ugly anyway :) now you can buy something that isn't so extremely ugly :)

His shirts also used to be white before the washing machine turned them black. My helpful advice to that was to put breadcrumbs on them so birds will come and shit them white again, which may sound really rude and gross, but remember: This is a point and click adventure. The medium where duct-taping a phone receiver to a cat is a normal way to solve your problems. In the world Sune lives in, this may simply be the sort of thing people do every day.

[germanysnexttopgedicht]

Eine Frage

Da stehn die Werkmeister – Mann für Mann. Der Direktor spricht und sieht sie an: »Was heißt hier Gewerkschaft! Was heißt hier Beschwerden! Es muß viel mehr gearbeitet werden! Produktionssteigerung! Daß die Räder sich drehn!« Eine einzige kleine Frage: Für wen?

Ihr sagt: die Maschinen müssen laufen. Wer soll sich eure Waren denn kaufen? Eure Angestellten? Denen habt ihr bis jetzt das Gehalt, wo ihr konntet, heruntergesetzt. Und die Waren sind im Süden und Norden deshalb auch nicht billiger geworden. Und immer noch sollen die Räder sich drehn … Für wen?

Für wen die Plakate und die Reklamen? Für wen die Autos und Bilderrahmen? Für wen die Krawatten? die gläsernen Schalen? Eure Arbeiter können das nicht bezahlen. Etwa die der andern? Für solche Fälle habt ihr doch eure Trusts und Kartelle! Ihr sagt: die Wirtschaft müsse bestehn. Eine schöne Wirtschaft! Für wen? Für wen?

Das laufende Band, das sich weiterschiebt, liefert Waren für Kunden, die es nicht gibt. Ihr habt durch Entlassung und Lohnabzug sacht eure eigne Kundschaft kaputt gemacht. Denn Deutschland besteht – Millionäre sind selten – aus Arbeitern und aus Angestellten! Und eure Bilanz zeigt mit einem Male einen Saldo mortale.

Während Millionen stempeln gehn. Die wissen, für wen.

--Kurt Tucholsky

[spacewonder19]

Total Solar Eclipse © Gijs de Reijke

[lonnson]

Du bist kein Content: Spanner-Brillen verbieten!

Stell dir vor: Jemand filmt dich – und du merkst nichts. Kamerabrillen bedrohen unsere Privatsphäre. Fordere klare Grenzen! Jetzt unterzeich

🕶️🔨🙂‍↕️

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Francis Owen, you have hereby successfully completed your initiation. Congratulations, and welcome to the Council of Cyberwitches as our first ever non-centaur equine member. The stage is yours for anything you’d like to say.

The Council of Cyberwitches: *patiently waits for you to say something*

[holyscreamingintothevoid]

(Psst, Frank, they’re waiting for you to say something!)

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

The Council of Cyberwitches: [faintly, through a blur]

Francis Owen: “……”

The Council of Cyberwitches: [loudly] “Say something!”

[Tumblr user @holyscreamingintothevoid looks up from his laptop with an exasperated expression. He has been trying to speak into the microphone on top of it and says:]

“Well if you really want me to say something…”

*Pause for effect.*

“I guess I’ll just say this: ‘hello fellow tumblrites!’”

[A pause.]

“That wasn’t very good.”

[Another pause.]

“But then again… how could anything be more important than that?”

[More pauses.]

“Um…” *looks down at notepad* “… what about ‘anyone who has ever read Homestuck.’”

[holyscreamingintothevoid]

“No?” holyscreamingintothevoid fidgets uncomfortably. “I have never read it either, to be honest. Only made it to the living room.”

He clears his throat.

“Let’s not get off topic. Francis—” He looks to the green horse still standing in the middle of the stage. “—as you know, it is customary for new members to give a little introductory speech. We spoke about your ideas for it in preparation for your initiation, remember?” holyscreamingintothevoid gives her an encouraging smile and motions for her to begin.

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Francis Owen: “…”

[A long pause.]

The Council of Cyberwitches: [clenches fists] “SAY SOMETHING!”

[More pauses. At one point, holyscreamingintothevoid makes a vaguely threatening gesture with his arms in the direction of Francis Owen’s head.]

[At last, Francis Owen speaks:]

“Um … wow … that was really intimidating.” *looks down at notepad* “I guess I should talk about my favorite Homestuck character?” *pause for effect* “Dave Strider.” *pause for effect* “He is so cool and sexy and everyone else hates him but he doesn’t care because he’s awesome! Also he has a gun and shoots people sometimes which makes me feel like more of an adult than I am already feeling as I stand on this stage right now speaking to you all.” *pause again* “And also …”

[longer pause]

“Cultural Marxism is bad actually. But mostly I just wanted to say hi.”

[Places hand over heart.]

[clouds-of-wings]

I realized that the reason why "wholesome" media sets my teeth on edge is not because I like suffering but because when everyone is improbably happy and everything is improbably harmonious, my brain immediately assumes that everyone who isn't happy or has pointed out problems has either been chased away or yelled at to not talk about it anymore. It sets off my "Stepford wives" detector.

[clouds-of-wings]

Missed call notification = Text that says "We need to talk"

[clouds-of-wings]

I think from now on when Americans make sweeping generalizations, positive or negative, about what things are like in "Europe", they should have to name at least 5 different European countries in which the thing is actually the case, and they can't be neighbouring countries. Because I think many of them don't really understand how differently things are done in different countries here.

In Russia queer organizations are officially branded as extremists, partially for religious reasons, while Malta is even more religious and one of the most queer-friendly places in the world. Malta also still hasn't legalized abortions yet (until 2023 not even if the mother's life was at risk) while in Spain women have a right to 3-5 days menstrual leave per month. Bosnia is majority Muslim while in France you can't wear a hijab to school. There are few statements that are true for the entire continent.

[clouds-of-wings]

On the other hand, maybe we could just strike back by making sweeping statements about "how things are in North America" and naming things that are specific to Mexico..?

[howamidrivinginlimbo]

The Baths of Caracalla in Rome, Italy

The Baths were unprecedented in size: 1600 Romans could bathe at the same time. Apart from the bathing facilities, there were two libraries and there were shops, offices, gardens and even an area for sport. It simply didn't fit inside of Rome, and that is why it was built just outside of it, by the Appian Way (Via Appia).

[geekandmisandry]

Society hates teenage girls and everything they enjoy.

[happierthandignified]

I can’t even tell you how much this screwed with me as a teen. I spent a whole decade of my life trying to prove myself to people determined to see me negatively. If you’re a teen and you’re reading this just live your life. Like what you like and if someone tells you its dumb it’s because they’re an asshole. There’s nothing wrong with you.

[geekandmisandry]

Read what you want to read, eat and drink what you want to drink, wear what you want to wear and watch what you want to watch.

People are going to judge you if you fit the mould and if you don’t, including grown women who should really know better.

Is ok to be you, you’re enough.