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Attn: Mid-Cities LADIES

I don't want to smoke alone. Anyone up and wanna hang out?

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A buddy of mine just stopped by. Amazing timing. Always making reference to his "big dick." It's a little fucked up but he did get me to laugh when he said "Told you I'd get you to suck my big dick one of these days..." No Bro. That will never happen. I do appreciate the pitstop, though, and for sending me to the damn moon tonight. So qkIGH!

Three of us just Cheech-n-Chonged my HeShed with an oz. I'm fairly certain I could beat Usain Bolt in the 100-meter right now! Wait, fuck that, I could out-run a Bugatti in a 1/4 mile!

ZoomZoom

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Too late? Too early? Fuck no...

So after a long night of bullshit, waiting, and then waiting some more, my girl will be home in about an hour and while last night's plans went to shit I am very much open to rectifying that situation. If there are any ladies in the Mid Cities or DFW area that would like to come to Bedford, smoke, and have some fun with us, let me know ASAP so we delay no longer! I believe it is Thursday morning.

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One Of Those Days?

Have you ever had one of those days where nothing seems to go right? Not just that, but to an extreme that no one would really believe unless they saw how bad it was? Like, say you set out to do your normal illegal thing to make some extra money... Let's say it's diving in ponds on golf courses and pulling out golf balls to sell...However, on this particular horrible day, in a pond that you had been in a hundred times before and collected thousands of golf balls, you reach down, sift through the mud, bump into a submerged branch, work your way through freeing it and getting it out of your way, just to find a part of a woman's arm attached to it... Only me... There's not one other motherfuker on this planet that would experience that like I did... Who the fuck does that? Sick fucks...

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Wtf?

People always blame the dope... Why? It was your choice... Own the shit... Meanwhile, fuck you...

FML

What do a recent firing, open warrants, no electricity, a busted hot water heater, a lying and cheating girlfriend, and an empty dope bag in a messy house(because of the lying and cheating girlfriend) all have in common? 🙋‍♂️FML

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jso36

214 Dallas TX

cloudyinbedford

817 Bedford

What happens when you miss your court date?

Well, several tings... First, a warrant is issued for you arrest. Then, a few days later there is a cop-knock at the door. You don't answer but they don't give a fuck... They bust your door down... But you aren't an idiot though. You know they are coming so you prepare a bad ass hiding spot. After they fuck your house up they leave. Not to worry, they will try again tomorrow. Won't find me then either... Bitches...

Now, with my next remaining hours of freedom, I'm going to make it cloudy in here and see if I can't find a woman that would like to come over and smoke with us as we prepare to have some ridiculously naughty anniversary sex...

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Last Try. I'm Out Of Time...

I wish I could say I was out of time based on some genius doctor's diagnosis stating I was at the end of my expected time due to some plague. However, it's not that easy. I go to court Monday morning. There, like in Monopoly, I will not be allowed to pass Go as I'm sent straight to jail. There's something about taking half of a million bucks from the company you worked for for 12 years and gambling high roller style that authorities seem to want to be complete dicks to me over. Fuck them. Meanwhile, we have been trying to pull this threesome off for a hot minute. I just don't understand why it's so difficult. We are clean people. We take care of ourselves, minus these clouds we exhale, and we are fun as fuck in the bedroom. So, while I refuse to ask for a mercy fuck, it would sure be nice if this could be pulled off this weekend. So, ladies, let us know. Let's get spun.

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Thank you, ladies!

There simply aren't enough "thank you's" handed out to you beautiful ladies flaunting your hotness. I just want you each to know I greatly appreciate it! You are all yummy!

#Selfidon

Fucking Vibrators...

Today's goal is to get one of her favorite toys working again... However, my priority is to make sure that bowl steady rollin'...

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Spun EARLY and ready, (edit: more than ready...) to Fuuuuuuuck!

Supposed to create words to go in this section too? Holy shit. I think all I have ever done is type a title and some tags.... This is not near as hard as my cock is right now.... Porn:30 Mandatory

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Oh, so very much elusive Unicorn, Unicorn, wherefore art thou Unicorn?