Your Local Clown Ranch

Hi! I rescue and raise clowns, document their antics, and provide information on how to care for your clowns. Feel free to ask questions! | 21 M |

[clownhusbandryexpert]

Apparently last night I woke up next to my partner and said "if I disappear in the next few days, you know they got me"

My partner, concerned, asks "what? Who got you?"

"Big skin."

That must have been a crazy dream

[clownhusbandryexpert]

I'm still alive and so is my dog

He was too excited to take a clear picture

[clownhusbandryexpert]

Haven't posted anything in a while. Planning on taking the clowns out for a photoshoot sometime soon

[rubyvroom]

[rubyvroom]

Yeah, it's time to get this post out again

[clownhusbandryexpert]

Remember to put sunscreen on your clowns

[clownhusbandryexpert]

I ran out of clown pics so I'll be taking more sometime soon. I might show off the whole collection

[clownhusbandryexpert]

It's important to let your clown express themselves through hair style or dress. Get them haircuts when they ask or when they need it, bathe them regularly, and take them clothes shopping occasionally. Remember, your clown knows its preferences best so listen to them

[clownhusbandryexpert]

A cozy place to be sure

[clownhusbandryexpert]

I asked him to pose for a more professional shot and he obliged as long as I gave him treats after. He's such a good clown.

[clownhusbandryexpert]

This little guy is a newer addition to my rescues. He likes cozy homes with wooden floors and a nice cup of tea. He's a little mischievous but good hearted

[clownhusbandryexpert]

One more particular large clown before moving on to more mundane clowns. This guy is a real treat. Pray to him if you see him. He may see fit to grant you blessings, but do not forsake them if he does. Make good use of your fortune and be glad you got to witness such a specimen. Do try not to take too much of his time.

[clownwithduncecap]

I love the strange eldritch clowns (?) you've been posting

[clownhusbandryexpert]

Many think clowns are limited to the human form. This is not true. Clowns are actually a much larger group of organisms than most people think. At some point I'll be posting some of the more esoteric clowns in my collection.

[clownhusbandryexpert]

One more particular large clown before moving on to more mundane clowns. This guy is a real treat. Pray to him if you see him. He may see fit to grant you blessings, but do not forsake them if he does. Make good use of your fortune and be glad you got to witness such a specimen. Do try not to take too much of his time.

[clownhusbandryexpert]

Wizardry can help in summoning particularly rare clowns, but don't be discouraged if none show on your first try. You have to let them relax and come to you.

[clownhusbandryexpert]

Clowns like these come around to see the fireworks, as they mistake the fiery blasts for mates. They themselves are often mistaken for fireworks, but in fact they are living clowns. Leave them be, they can take care of themselves

[clownhusbandryexpert]

Bubbles can form a symbiotic relationship with clowns. In this relationship, clowns provide air which helps the bubbles reproduce. The bubbles provide enrichment and stimulation that keeps the clowns happy.

[clownhusbandryexpert]

He left room to sit with him if you need to chat

[clownhusbandryexpert]

The night air keeps you comfortable in the summer heat when taking care of this clown. The night is not so dark when you learn to truly look.

[clownhusbandryexpert]

This land was once ruled by clowns. So immense was their size and power that the very trees grew to meet them. Will they be content in their weakened state? Do they not seek to regain the power they once held? Could we stop them if they did?