I'm the Chip on your shoulder

William "Chip" Montgomery | 26 | businessman What do you want to know? Or more like what do you need to know. The name is Chip, I own my own business. Moved to Key West a year ago. Some people call me spoiled, I don't know if I agree with that, but money can fix anything and everything.

[cmontgomery]

toocoolforyourschool:

And spoil the surprise? No way. You gotta wait just like everybody else.

Come on, I need some ideas, and of course make sure that I’m the only one with my costume.

[toocoolforyourschool]

Halloween is almost here which means it’s almost time for the costume contest again. Now, should I just go for the gold and win again this year, or should I be merciful and give other people a fighting chance?

[cmontgomery]

So what are you dressing as? Since you seem so sure that you’ll end up winning.

[booksuponbooksuponbooks]

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child is weird and wonderful, and I love it.

[booksuponbooksuponbooks]

That’s what the rock hard toffee nastiness pieces are for. The dark spots in life.

[cmontgomery]

But it’s not enough. You need more of those, not just a couple of pieces in a box, because there are more than a couple of spots in life that’s dark.

[ezragreen]

What can I say? I’m pretentious. 

[cmontgomery]

First of all there is nothing pretentious about golf. It was a part of the Olympics this year. And you need to know how to play golf if you want to succeed in business.

[booksuponbooksuponbooks]

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child is weird and wonderful, and I love it.

[booksuponbooksuponbooks]

Now, that’s just a flat out lie. If I’ve learned anything from Forrest Gump, it’s that life is indeed like a box of chocolates.

[cmontgomery]

I can agree with you that it’s a good movie, a great even, Tom Hanks did a great job in and he deserved that Oscar that’s for sure. But life isn’t as sweet as a box of chocolate. It needs more pieces that taste like crap.

[booksuponbooksuponbooks]

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child is weird and wonderful, and I love it.

[booksuponbooksuponbooks]

I highly doubt that. All you do is complain and act like a Negative Nancy every time someone likes something you don’t.

[cmontgomery]

Well, someone’s gotta do that. But life isn’t a box of chocolate. I’m just trying to keep it real.

[booksuponbooksuponbooks]

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child is weird and wonderful, and I love it.

[booksuponbooksuponbooks]

Which is why there is no joy in your life.

[cmontgomery]

I’ve got plenty of joy in my life. 

[booksuponbooksuponbooks]

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child is weird and wonderful, and I love it.

That is all.

[cmontgomery]

I don’t get what the big deal is.

[ezragreen]

I love golf. 

[cmontgomery]

You do? I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone agree with me on this.

[cmontgomery]

I’m looking for someone to come on join me on the golf course. And I promise you’ll even be allowed to play, you don’t have to be my caddie. But you’ll have to be okay with listening to me trying to seal a deal for the diner.

[thatdamnmatthewsgirl]

Rich kid with Daddy issues, likely stemming from not getting the approval you so desperately craved as a child that has carried over into your adult life and made you bitter, salty and generally unpleasant on the whole. You toss money around to feel important and make others feel small to fuel your fragile ego. Talking to your dad is a chore, but it doesn’t stop you from putting your hands in his money lined pockets because let’s be real, without it you wouldn’t know what the hell to do with yourself. And that’s not me being a judge-y bitch, I grew up with the rich kids, I have my own daddy issues, I’m very keenly observant and can spot your type from a mile away. But yes, do enjoy your Cristal.

[cmontgomery]

You might have some points there. But you still don’t know everything about me. So don’t try and analyse me. And it is hard, and I need to get something out from talking to him to hear how I’ve disappointed him, and that he shouldn’t have named me after himself. And I did enjoy it.

[ezragreen]

I see! Well, sorry for getting mistaken. I hope you have a nice meeting with your dad! 

Originally posted by alfred-enoch

[cmontgomery]

It’s not going to be a meeting it’s a phone call and those are never nice. So no, I won’t have a nice talk with my father.

[ezragreen]

I don’t mean to come off as at all judgmental, but if your goal is to get drunk and forget, why pay so much for expensive champagne? 

[cmontgomery]

So don’t it’s pretty simple. Because it’s my dad’s that’s paying this time. And I’ll still remember what I drank.

[thatdamnmatthewsgirl]

It’s a real name, Google is your friend. They have Cristal and you can pay online and pick it up and the store or have it dropped off to your door if you’re that fucking lazy.

[cmontgomery]

First off all, are you sure you really know the real me? Second of all I’m not lazy. But it does sound nice to have it delivered. I should try that.

[thatdamnmatthewsgirl]

Total Wine & More, they have Dom, they have Cristal if you stick your nose up due to the bargain sounding store name, I may have to slap you.

[cmontgomery]

That name sounds made up. So I don’t believe that’s the right place for me. But a bottle or two of Cristal on my dads card sounds pretty nice.

[cmontgomery]

Anyone knows where I can get a nice bottle of champagne, so for the love of God don’t send me to some place with cheap ass beer. I need to forget about the weekly father son call that’s supposed to happen. 

[anerdynummiesbaker]

For you maybe. But you will get zero hungover business from me.

Originally posted by secretly-a-dinosaur

[cmontgomery]

I don’t need your business. I’ve got my own set out costumers.