i can’t breathe but i’m living

masterlist || requests are open WHY DON’T WE CNCO

[optimisticfaerie]

[castielss]

Alec & Magnus + War of Hearts by Ruelle | Shadowhunters

[gabriela-dawson]

[audiobook-mike]

For other CW shows, I say usually the early seasons are better than the later seasons but with Legends it just gets better and better as the seasons go by

[theoraeken5696]

The Dice Game. Theo Raeken.

Pairing: Dom! Theo Raeken x Sub! Fem! Reader.

Warnings: Smut/Sex/Mature Content, Dirty Talk and Fore Play.

Requested?: Well, a lot of people were giving my original set a bunch of likes and @dietch-oke said ‘You should finish this before I go insane.’ so I decided to take it as a request to finish it :). Thanks a lot for the feedback and feel free to leave a request if you want to :D. And besides, it’s to celebrate that we have 💯 followers! I know it might not be that much, but we’re really thankful!!

Summary: Theo appears at your house, interrupting your study session just to play a game. But later on you discover it’s not just any game, and it’s definetly not an innocent on.

Author: Ellie.

Masterlist.

“Nobody’s P. O. V.”

“A Dice Game?” You ask in confusion. “Yeah, I saw it on my phone.” Theo says while you’re sat on the chair of your desk, trying to get back to doing your homework that’s due for tomorrow. “And why would I play a game with someone who I don’t only dislike but also interrupted my homework session?” You ask, crossing your arms over your chest.

“To relief some stress.” He says with a smirk. “No.” You say. “Come on, it’ll only take a couple of minutes.” He insists. “I swear that if I don’t have my homework done for tomorrow-“ “You’ll have it.” He says while looking in his phone. “Do you have two dices we can play with?” He asks.

”You came here unprepared, how professional.” You sarcastically say, checking in your drawers and taking out a blue and white Dice. “And why do you have dices?” Theo asks. “Oh shut up, you came here to play a Dice Game without Dice… and besides, I like playing board games with my little brother.” You say.

”Okay, the blue Dice is Dice #1, and the white is #2.” He starts saying. “And how do we play the game?” You ask, sitting down on the floor after he does. “We roll the Dice and if #1 is a one, it means Lick.-“ “Wha-“ “Stop, I’m not done.” Theo says before continuing after clearing his throat.

”Two means Suck, Three means Stroke, Four Massage, Five Tickle and Six Rub.” He says, making a small pause before he keeps on explains while your face shows pure confusion. “Now, Dice #2. One means Lips, Two Ears, Three Neck, Four Inside of Thighs, Five Chest and Six means…”

“Privates.” He finishes saying. “And by privates you mean…” You start saying and stop when you see the look on his face, smirk on display and an eyebrow slightly raised, making you swallow thickly. “Okay.” You calmly say. “Okay?” Theo asks, surprised that you’ll play. “Okay.” You repeat. “Okay then, who’s first?” He confidently asks. “You should go first.” You say after swallowing the lump in your throat.

“Alright then.” He says and rolls the Dice. The First one falls in Five and the Second one in Three. “What’s a Five-Three?” You ask, not remembering what the numbers of the Dice mean. “I have to Tickle your Neck.” He says while looking at his phone. “No thanks.” You say, preferring to keep your tickle spot to yourself. “Come on, you agreed to play.” He says. “Fine.” You say, pulling your hair to the side.

Theo scoots closer to you until now all he has to do is lean a bit backwards to the side and is behind you. He starts to run his fingers over your neck, searching for a weak spot to tickle and when he finds it, you bite your lip to keep your noises to yourself but a small squeak escapes you. He smirks to himself and starts to tickle your new found spot and you now move your free hand to cover your mouth.

Your shoulders start to jumps up and down while he hears you laughing as you squeeze your eyes shut at the feeling. “Come on, let me hear you laugh.” He says in an amusing tone and you shake your head side to side. You stay like that for awhile so he grabs your wrist and pulls your hand away from your mouth, a loud laugh finally leaving you.

He keeps up with his torture and at some point, you’re layed on your side and a few tears are leaving your eyes, your stomach starting to hurt. “St-sto-op! P-please!” You say in between laughs, making him let out one of his own. “Okay, okay. You’re next.” He says, putting an end to his actions. You sit back up and brush your tears away while recovering from your stomach ache.

“Thanks.” You say in a now more serious tone after he gives you the Dice. You shake them in your hands that are closed together in a fist and then let them go to roll a few times and then con to a stop. Four Blue, and Five White. “What’s a Four Five?” You ask. Theo doesn’t answer and instead shows you his phone. “You have to Massage my Chest.” He says with a smirk.

“That’s gonna be weird.” You say with an awkward look on your face. “Maybe for you, but for me…” He says, making a pause to pull his shirt off, showing off his body. “It’ll be my pleasure.” He finishes saying. “I can give you your Massage with your shirt on you now?” You say, trying to keep your eyes from his hard and firm chest and abs. “Well I want it off.” He says.

You let out a sigh and walk with your knees closer to him which he gladly separates his legs to give you some space where you situate yourself while he’s leaned back at a 45 angle, being supported by his hands. You place your hands flatly on his chest and start to lightly move them. You had never really given a massage before so in your opinion, you’re just running your hands over his chest, slightly squeezing and pressing on it.

“That’s a massage?” He asks with his brows raised. “I don’t know how to give one.” You say. “Well, it doesn’t matter anyways, I like the feeling of your hands on my body, and it looks like you’re enjoying yourself too.” He says in a low and seductive tone, clearly having a smirk but you don’t look at him to see his jade eyes where you could easily get lost in.

Your hands stay on his chest for a few minutes, giving him his ‘massage’ at which you have to bite the inside of your cheek to not let out a moan just at the feeling of his toned chest. At some point, Theo starts to moan at the sensation, teasing you and making you get frustrated and bite your cheek harder. “I think that’s enough.” You say, not being able to take any more of his teasing.

“If you say so…” He says while you remove your hands from him and sit back at your original place as he grabs the Dice. “Aren’t you gonna put your shirt back on?” You ask, trying to keep your eyes away from him. “Nope, I’m just gonna let you enjoy the view.” He says with his usual smirk before rolling the Dice. The Blue Dice gets Six and the White one lands on Four.

“What does Six and Four mean?” You ask. “I have to rub the inside of your thighs.” Theo says. “What?” You ask in panic, knowing that he’s going to tease the hell out of you. “See it for yourself.” He says, showing you his phone. “Ugh, fine.” You say, starting to move closer to him but he takes you by surprise at quickly turning you around so your back is facing him and pulling you to sit between his still separated legs.

“Aren’t you gonna take your pants off?” He asks. “What?!” You ask in panic again. “I was just saying.” He says against your ear, shrugging it off and then placing his hands in between your pressed together legs. “At least spread your legs for me.” He whispers in your ear, gently squeezing your thighs. You look away from his hands and instead let him spread your legs on his own.

He starts to rub the inside of your thighs, squeezing a few times and slowly with each amount of time inching higher and higher. Each time he moves his hands higher, the arousal on your panties increases and so does his breath that tries to take in more and more of the sweet smell. Soon, he has the curve of his thumbs and index finger on the curve of where your crotch/pubic bone meet with the top of your thighs while his fingers, excluding his thumbs, keep on rubbing.

Once again, you bite the inside of your cheek to keep your noises to yourself while you try to keep your legs in their place to not seem so vulnerable towards him, but it keeps on getting harder and harder at the feeling of wetness continuously escaping your clothed sex. “You smell so good Princess.” He says in your ear, lightly biting it and starting to move a hand over your crotch.

“Th- that wasn’t what you got.” You difficulty say. “You know what? You’re right, we’re supposed to play by the rules.” He says, moving his hands away from you, letting you move back to your place. Theo hands you the Dice and you grab them while being sat with the back of your calves against the back of your thighs, your legs completely pressed together in attempt to ignore the ache in your core.

You look at him and see him smirking which has you thinking that there’s something fishy about the look on his face. You decide to ignore it and roll the Dice. The white one stopping at Six and the Blue one at One, making your eyes widen. You didn’t remember much about the meaning of the numbers but you certainly couldn’t forget of the meaning of the second Dice landing on Six.

Privates.

“What does the number One mean?” You ask. “Lick.” He says. “Um, I think that’s all for today, I should get back to doing homework.” You nervously say. “Come on Y/N, you’re the one who agreed that we had to play by the rules.” He says. “Um, I-“ “It’ll be the last one, after this you can go to your homework and I’ll leave you alone.” He says, interrupting you.

“You promise you’ll leave?” You ask, knowing he’s very capable of staying and not letting you concentrate. “I promise.” He says but there’s something in the way he says it that has you believing otherwise. But you still do it. “Okay.” You shyly say. “Good.” He says. Theo unbuttons his jeans, unzips them and you see how his hand goes in his underwear, pulling his hard erection out.

As soon as you see it, your eyes widen and you gasp in surprise. You didn’t notice he had a boner earlier and you certainly didn’t think he’d be that big. You look away while moving closer and when you’re in front of him within about a foot away, he speaks. “It’s okay, I don’t mind you looking, after all, you’re gonna Lick it.” He says, having his legs separated like earlier.

“Okay.” You say like previously and lay down on your stomach, being supported up by your elbows and having his dick right in front of you, only a few centimeters away from your tongue soon to be licking him through your slightly parted lips. You take in the view and notice a vein sticking out in some sort of way that looks good, the end of the top of his foreskin right under the bottom of the light pink head of his cock which is starting to leak off pre-cum

 You let out a small breath that hits his dick and you raise your head a bit higher, sticking your tongue out and touching his pre-cum with the tip of your tongue. Your tongue collects some of his liquid and you bring your tongue back in to swallow, taking in the good flavor. You flatly place your tongue on his tip and start stroking him, but it doesn’t last much before you kitten lick him instead.

Not long after, you’re done licking his pre-cum off and now place your tongue on his balls, licking all the way back up to his tip. You continue like that for awhile, sticking to the rules but only making Theo tired of it. “Can’t you do more?” He asks with traces of boredom. “You said we had to ‘follow the rules’ didn’t you?” You say, now having a confident voice.

“That’s it.” He says, grabbing your head with both hands, pulling you up to the tip and sinking you all the way down until your nose collides with his pubic bone and your bottom lip comes in contact with his balls while you already have gagging tears leaving the corners of your eyes and running all the way down to your cheeks at having something so thick down your throat…

Your tongue also sticking out a bit with the tip reaching his balls while the rest is completely against the base of his dick. You move your head upwards to pull all the way back but just when you reach his tip, he pushes your head back down, grabbing a handful of your hair and making you use that motion. At that, Theo finally starts to let out an occasional moan but it’s still not enough for him.

“If you don’t start sucking, you’re just gonna take longer doing that.” He says. You look up at him but then back to his lower stomach, a breath leaving through your nose that sounds like an annoyed sigh but he doesn’t care. You swallow some saliva first and then start moving your tongue over the underside of his dick while sucking and trying to move your head up and down.

Theo quickly gets the idea and stops forcing you to have your head all the way down. He loosens his grip on you and lets you use your back and forth motion but he still forces you all the way down when he notices that you’re just reaching what fits in your mouth, so he makes you deep-throat him. More tears run down your cheeks and you let him control your motion, now just sucking and licking.

Not long after, your lack of air starts to affect you more and you try to pull back, pushing on his thighs and hips to pull away but he doesn’t let you. You try to speak but your words only get muffled and causes vibrations to travel through him which makes him moan and groan. Your breath comes in and out through your nose at a rapid pace while he starts to pulse inside of your mouth.

You hear him starting to growl and he uses a faster pace with you, now fucking your mouth. “Fuck!” He yells out at the same time he reaches his orgasm, sinking your head all the way down, cumming deep in your throat and filling a certain amount of it. He releases your head and you quickly pull back but he grabs your jaw and makes sure to keep your mouth closed.

“Good girls swallow.” He says, maintaining eyes contact and seeing how you difficulty swallow his load and then finally letting you open your mouth and gasp for air. Theo leans back again and lets out a small sigh, feeling relieved how he said the game would do, except that it was only for him. Theo easily recovers, faster than you and he pulls you back to him by your ankles, making you gasp like previously but now in surprise.

Before you can do or say anything, he pulls you in for a fast and rough kiss, shoving his tongue in your mouth and having a hand on the back of your head with his fingers running through your hair as he keeps you from pulling back, but you don’t want to. You kiss back, throwing yourself at him which makes him fall back to the floor, his eyes widen in surprise but still keep his lips on yours.

You wrap your arms around his neck, his going around your waist and grabbing handfuls of your ass, squeezing and squishing them together and occasionally slapping it. “Can I ride you?” You ask. “You can ride me whenever you want.” He says with a smirk. He quickly takes your shirt off, rips off the back of your bra to take it off quickly too.

“That was my favorite bra.” You say. “You look better without it.” He says, picking you up, placing you over his shoulder to walk to your bed while giving your ass a hard slap and then throwing you to your bed and getting on top of you to kiss, suck and tug on your nipples. You let out a small shriek when he bites at your nipples too hard, having your boobs squished together.

He tugs at them backwards and sucks until they’re a deep red at his toughness and you’re whining and crying out at how sensible he’s making you. “Th- Theo, please.” You whine out, placing your hands on his shoulders and trying to push him away. He sits back up on his calves but only to harshly pull your pants off and then your underwear while you kick off your socks and shoes as he then does the same thing.

He moves back up to you and kisses you roughly, having a hand on your thigh to wrap your leg around his lower back and his free hand keeping his body up while you have an arm around the back of his neck with your other hand in his hair, gripping and pulling on it. “Do you have any condoms?” You ask, breaking the kiss. “No, why?” He asks as if they weren’t important.

“You knew you were having sex with me and you came unprepared for that too?” You ask with a ‘really?’ look on your face. “Are you gonna ride me or not?” He asks. You annoyingly sigh out and push him to the other side of your bed, reaching out for your drawer and pulling a condom out. You roll to the opposite side, landing on top of Theo with your legs on each side of him and sitting back on his lap.

You rip the plastic wrapper open and then unroll the thin latex lair over his length, giving him a few strokes afterwards. You stand up on your knees and move forward, having your hands on his lower stomach to support yourself while he’s leaned upwards with his hands behind him and supporting him too.

You stop once your right on top of his length and you slowly lower yourself, feeling how his tip passes through your wet folds and presses against your opening. Theo places a hand on your waist and helps you sit down on his length. You bite your lip as soon as he enters you, feeling how he’s stretching you out while he instantly throws his head back and moans out in pleasure.

A few seconds later, he’s completely inside of you and you’re fully sat down on the upper part of his thighs, letting out a small whine while adjusting to his size. Not long after, you let out a small sigh and then start to slowly move up and down, feeling how every single inch of his dick slides in and out of you. You move your hands to his chest and gently push him back so he’s laying down.

He moves both of his hands to your waist, letting out loud moans and groans of your name that only encourages you to keep going. You slowly start to pick up your pace, going a bit faster every amount of time. “Faster.” He moans and you try to. Your attempt to bounce up and down on his thighs faster only makes it more difficult for you to move, so instead…

You stop your movements and replace them with back and forth ones as if you were dry-humping him. You feel his grip on your waist get tighter and he moans even louder. “Just like that Princess.” He moans, moving his hands to wrap them around your lower back. You move your hands over his chest and slowly pass them over his muscular front, memorizing the curves of his abs and his v-line.

You move in circular motions, side to side, back and forth, still not being ready to move up and down again. Theo opens his eyes to look up at you and see how moans and groans leave your parted lips while you have your head thrown back, now starting to slightly move up and down. After some time, you’re practically slamming yourself down on his dick over and over, your ass that’s repeatedly slapping against his thighs making loud noises.

“Faster.” He says like previously. “I- I can’t go faster.” You difficulty say, a few whines escaping your mouth. “Ugh!” He stressfully lets out before hooking an arm around your lower back, roughly grabbing your hip, wrapping his other arm around your upper back to force you to lean down until you’re chest-to-chest with him and then thrusting upwards at a fast and hard pace.

“AH!” You scream out in pleasure at the feeling of the tip of his cock ramming into your deeply hidden spot, instantly making you clench tighter around him and your stomach start to twist in knots as you scream loudly in his ear. “Fuck! Right there!” You scream, your delightful noises making his hand flatly land on your ass cheek, giving you two harsh slaps, hard enough to make your cheek turn a light shade of red.

The bed starts to squeak at the harsh movements while Theo holds your ass up to pound up into you, hitting the perfect spot every time he moves upwards, earning a pleasure-filled scream from you each time. Not long after you feel how he starts to pulse inside of you, both of you starting to pant while his arms begin to get a bit sore due to caring you and staying in the same position.

“Th- Theo, I’m abo-out to-” “I know, j- just a little longer.” He says, letting you fall on top of him and now instead thrusting into you while you’re rested on top of him, letting out a pant whenever he hits the right spot. You run your hands through his hair, pulling and gripping on it harshly, finding it more and more difficult to last longer.

“Theo… I’m not g- gonna last much lo-onger.” You stutter out. You bury your face in the pillow, biting in to keep yourself from reaching your orgasm but you still do. You cum all over his dick with a loud scream, clenching around him and filling his ears with your pleasured noises, helping him reach his orgasm too. He lets out a loud groan, throwing his head back into the pillows, closing his eyes and his back slightly arching off the bed while he fills the condom.

When he’s done with his orgasm, he lays back down, his grip loosening on you as well as yours on him, both of your bodies feeling boneless. After a few minutes of catching your breaths, he slowly pulls out of you and takes off the condom, letting you stay on top of him as he ties it and throws it in the trash bin close to your bed.

“I should go now, you need to focus on your homework anyways don’t you?” He asks with a smirk while you lazily lift up your head from the pillows and lay it sideways on his chest after lowering yourself to be at the right height. “Just tell me first, out of all the girls you know, why did you pick me to play with you?” You ask.

“Because I didn’t want to fuck just any girl, I wanted to fuck you.” He says. “So… this isn’t a one-time thing right?” You hopefully ask. “Nope, we’re gonna do it again.” He says before rolling you off of him to the bed and getting off. You watch as he gets dressed and then gives you a rough kiss before leaving with a smirk.

[tankaramo]

i know that my blog makes it seem like all I care about in life is a tv show so I just wanted to clarify that yes, all I care about in life is a tv show

[thegreatficmaster-deactivated20]

In Need Of An Alpha...Or Two

Characters: Y/n (FEMALE READER), Derek, Peter

Pairing: Derek x Y/n x Peter

Warnings: Pure smut, squirting, biting, threesome, double penetration…just smut basically…then fluffy shit at the end…cos I like that…

Word count: 2350

Summary: Who knew becoming an Omega meant you craved an Alpha? Luckily, you have two who are more than willing to help you.

A/N: Ok, so…requested fic from @valeria-winchester-Hi could you do a Peter hale x reader x derek smut? Love your writing. U wanted smut…here u go!! Hope u like it!!

You never realized that becoming a werewolf would increase your sex drive by about tenfold.

Not until you were lying in Derek’s bed, sweating and squirming, fingers deep inside your pussy as you pumped them in and out, needing to release over and over.

You wondered if this was what they all went through.

You’d only briefly met them, but you knew Scott, Liam and Isaac had been turned-not born werewolves.

Had this happened to them? Did they have to jack off a billion times a day, just to stop themselves aching?

Or was it just you it happened to?

You had no idea, and to be honest, you didn’t care.

All you cared about was reaching your next orgasm.

You’d been going for hours now. Able to reach an orgasm, rest for about half an hour, before the need took over again.

It was tiring. Your hands were aching. Your pussy was more sensitive than ever before.

But you were insatiable.

Continua a leggere

[baseballbitch116]

Bait

Hey everyone!! All I have done in my free time over the last week is binge watch Teen Wolf, and I have gotten so enveloped into it! Anyway, long story short I’m on season 3 so no one spoil it for me!(Ik I’m late to the club lol) and this is my first imagine for this fandom! Hope you guys like it!!

Prompt: The reader is bait for an enemy werewolf that is attracted to her

Word Count: 2607

Warnings: Violence, sexual themes

Pairing: Peter Hale x reader

Masterlist | Fandoms | Submit A Request

It was a stupid plan. Beyond stupid. One that was going to result in people getting hurt purely because of how stupid and unprepared it was. But it was the only plan they could come up with.

Y/N, Allison’s older sister, was acting as bait to draw out Malikai, an enemy alpha werewolf that has been stirring up trouble (killing innocent people) in Beacon Hills over the course of the last few weeks. Derek and Scott want to lead him into a trap and force him to surrender or kill him.

They held a pack meeting at Derek’s apartment, one that you attended, as well as Stiles, Lydia and Allison. Despite not being wolves, you guys had become like a part of the pack, and usually wound up involved in these supernatural dilemmas either way. Better to be a step ahead.

Everyone was trying to brainstorm of a way to lure Malikai somewhere at the moment. You were stumped, resting your head against the back of the worn out couch as the others threw around ideas. Your eyes unwillingly shot up to glance at Peter, who was seated across the room on the stairs, chin resting in his hand. The two of you were not particularly friends, but you were probably the closest to him out of everyone in the room. Your relationship has been complicated - to say the least. Back when he was the alpha, you were still clueless about everything - and he was dead before you found out. But then he came back and was suddenly around, and there was no denying that the two of you had a connection, of some sort. You would flirt and banter from time to time, occasionally having conversations, but you didn’t think too much into it. It’s Peter, he doesn’t care about anyone…

You are quick to avert your eyes when you catch him look in your direction, your cheeks heating up at the embarrassment of being caught basically staring at him.

Suddenly, Scott and Derek exchange a look, before their intense gazes land on you. “What?” You question, uneasy about the way they were looking at you. “No. Seriously?! He’s insane!” You exclaim after realizing what they had in mind.

“What?” Lydia speaks up, not understanding what Scott and Derek have in mind.

“He has a serious thing for you. He doesn’t know that you’re a hunter, or that you are close to us.” Derek starts. “It’s the best advantage we’ve got.”

“You want to use Y/N as bait?” Allison exclaims, jumping up from her seat, glaring furiously at her ex.

“Well do you have any better ideas?” Derek retaliates.

“Seriously? You’re going to send a defenseless human into a trap for an alpha who wants to sleep with her?” Peter speaks up, stiff in his spot on the stairs. His words offend you, but you do agree to a point.

“Not defenseless.” You mutter under your breath, knowing full well that he could hear it, glaring at him. His eyes meet yours and you see a look that you can’t quite place - a combination of anger and worry, maybe.

“You’re human. He’s not only a werewolf, but an alpha. A psychotic one! What’re you gonna do? Bat your eyelashes and beg him not to rip your throat out?” He exclaims, balling his fists up at his sides. You gulp and glare daggers at the man whom you thought you were starting to get to know.  His words stung. There was a part of you that was starting to develop feelings for Peter. Clearly that was a stupid idea.

“Doesn’t sound much different from you, yet here I am, still alive.” You growl. “That’s exactly what I’ll do, Peter! How’d you know?!” You holler sarcastically.

“Enough! Both of you!” Derek shouts, glaring harshly between the two of you. Peter’s hard stare only falters when he suddenly stands and storms up the stairs, wanting no part of this ridiculous idea.

After some deliberation, everyone came up with a plan on how to lure Malikai somewhere secluded for them to attack him. You “ran into” him the next afternoon, flirting with him and inviting him to the club that you danced at on occasion for a little extra money for rent.

He eagerly accepted your invitation and the plan was set into motion. You were going to lure him out of the club and next door into the abandoned warehouse, where he would be under the impression the two of you were going to hook up, but in actuality, everyone would be waiting there for him.

Peter made his comments about how stupid and reckless the plan was, and you inwardly agreed that it wasn’t the greatest plan of all time, but there was no other option. “People’s lives are in danger. Innocent people are being killed.” You argued with Peter as you got dressed for the evening.

“YOUR life is going to be in danger!” He hollers at you, furiously punching the wall of Derek’s bedroom. You jump and cover your mouth, startled by his sudden outburst. You stare at him with wide eyes, slowly dropping your hands when you see his face soften and his vibrant blue eyes return to their normal human shade. Before anything else could be said, he storms out of the room, slamming the door behind him hard enough that you swore you heard it crack.

Continua a leggere

[especially]

[recaption]

[amargedom]

[yours-stevie]

The most iconic cast ✨

[probably-writing-x]

Innocence never looked so good

Valerio x Reader

Request by anon : I love your writings🧡🧡they’re what keeps me busy during this sucky time. If you’re still taking asks, I was wondering if you could write about Valerio and him meeting a new transfer scholarship student. At first he’s not really interested bc she’s pretty innocent but then he ends up falling for her. Kind of like Guzman and Nadia I guess. I mean you could honestly write it anyway you want and if love it 🥺 this was just ask. If not it’s understandable :))

Gif is not my own

Requests are open🤍

“So is this how it works here?” It was a boy from the back of the class that spoke up, “You just dish out scholarships left right and centre?”

He was a tall, slim boy with wild dark curls being his typically distinctive feature. You were more drawn to the sharp structure of his face and how he seemed so nonchalant about his extroverted personality. He was leaning back in the chair with his legs on top of the desk and his arms stretched out like he was opening himself to the world.

“Valerio, not now,” The teacher rolls his eyes, “(Y/n) is just as deserving of her place here as any of you are. I expect you to make her welcome as you would do with any paying student, understood?”

You swallow the lump in your throat and blink a couple of times at the intimidating crowd in front of you. You weren’t the most confident at the best of times so starting a new school was already an experience you feared - let alone when that school was filled to the brim with rich kids that you’d never fit in with.

The only spare seat in the class happened to be beside this Valerio so you walk your way over and stand awkwardly beside his desk.

“Can I sit here?” You ask quietly, forcing yourself to remain calm, “Please?”

He lets a smirk dance across his lips as he trails his eyes up and down your form, tapping his pen on the table with one hand, “Okay, (Y/n).”

Valerio swings his legs down and shuffles in his chair to make room for you beside him. You set your bag down beside you and pull out the books that you needed for the lesson, along with your pencil case.

“Fuck,” Valerio says a little too loudly, “She really is a nerd.”

You blush furiously at his comment but keep your head down nonetheless, scribbling down the date and the title of the lesson.

“Valerio!” The teacher warns, “Do I need to tell you again that your father’s money can easily be replaced?”

He rolls his eyes as a stunning girl from a few rows in front turns around and glares at him - an evident warning behind her perfected eyes.

Valerio ignores you for the rest of the lesson, spending half of his time staring out of the window and the other half trying to see how far he could rock back on his chair.

- - - - - -

You’re sat next to Valerio in that class every single day and every day is the same. You wait for him to move his feet from the table, you sit down and get on with the work and he finds any way possible of avoiding the work. It continues like that again and again every single day.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with your hair down,” He comments as you sit down on one random Monday morning.

You’d managed to make a few friends at Las Encinas - the other scholarship students really. But you tried your best to remain under the radar.

“I don’t ever really think about it,” You shrug, tucking a stray lock behind your ear as you scribble down the date.

“It’s nice.”

It’s weird to hear Valerio say anything remotely close to a compliment, even if it was something minor. But you find yourself looking at him with a little frown.

“You don’t think I have it in me to be polite?” He cocks a brow, “I’ll have you know I’m a gentleman, (Y/n).”

“If you say so,” You shrug and it’s like the tiniest spark of fire he’s ever seen from you. It takes him aback a little even if it shouldn’t. You were always so passive, and yet you’d had that tiniest fraction of sass in your words then that threw him just a little off balance.

He watches you a little bit more that day, wanting to know the person behind who you were when you sat beside him.

- - - - - -

The next morning, Valerio is still in his normal position in the chair as you come in but there’s a rose left on your side of the table.

“What’s this?” You question, picking it up to make space for your books.

He shrugs and shifts his legs, as usual, “I have no idea.”

“Well, you must’ve seen who put it down,” You comment, turning it over in your hands, “Who was it?”

“Can’t have been me,” He pushes himself off from the table using his firmly planted hands so that he rocks back on his chair, “I’m not romantic enough.”

- - - - - -

There continue to be little moments like that. A week later, he left a book on the table that he claimed was a brilliant read under his own recommendation. Next, it was a new notepad from when he saw you were coming to the end of yours. Sometimes, it would just be a note where he’d scribbled a poem quote that he liked. And, oddly, you found yourself looking forward to each day where you may or may not find a little gesture given from the extroverted boy that sat beside you. He didn’t show any interest in you outside of those moments, ignoring you in every other class, never acknowledging you in the hallways - but that one class every morning was his slight moment with you where he did show that side.

It’s a number of weeks later and things had started to deteriorate for you yet again at home. Your parents were what you’d call ‘missing in action’ - where they reprised their regular roles of being shitty parents by abandoning you with no knowledge of when they’d return. Normally, it would be for a cheap holiday they’d booked and not told you about, or because their drug-fuelled minds had considered it a brilliant idea to head off to somewhere unknown. Whatever it was, it always circled back eventually. And you’d be left alone yet again.

This time, it had meant that you’d barely been sleeping. So you’d decided to show up to school early and you found yourself sitting in the class before anybody else had even arrived.

When Valerio walks in, he stops in his tracks.

“The introvert, the woman of routine, breaking the cycle?” He gasps, sauntering over to you with all levels of confidence as he always managed to hold.

You must’ve looked an absolute state. Your hair was pulled into a bun, your eyes darkened by the purple circles that carried their weight, your clothes weren’t as neat as you tried to keep them and every part of you felt a little detached from your normal self.

Valerio strolls around your chair and flops down into the one next to you, “What caused the change, (Y/n)?”

When you don’t respond to him with a polite or sassy response, and he’s instead met with silence, he frowns and leans toward you in his chair.

“Is everything okay?” He asks, quiet and cautious like he was saying it with genuine care.

You run your hands over your hair to smooth it somewhat and look at him with the most forced smile you had the energy to give, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

With that, you go about all the parts of your normal routine. Pen out, books open, date in the top right hand corner. But there’s something about the shaky breath that you release and the way that your eyes seem just on the verge of pouring that makes Valerio struggle to ever take his eyes off of you. He’d never felt so serious in one of these classes. And it wasn’t an important topic or a test he should be trying to pass. It was because this girl beside him had a lot more than her passive exterior showed - and he couldn’t imagine just how much she’d had bottled up inside this whole time.

- - - - - -

The next morning, and the next and the next, you’re sat in that class before him again. There was something about being at school that made you not feel so alone so you’d been making the most of the hours you could spend here. Valerio expresses concern every morning by asking if you were okay and you even start to notice him steal glances in your direction every time you were in his class or you passed him at school.

This one morning, he comes in to find you practically half-asleep at the desk. You don’t pay attention to when he sits down and your books are already open but they’re empty and lifeless on the desk.

“No date this morning?” He nudges you, noticing how your appearance had changed day by day. Deteriorating little by little.

He’d even noticed how your lips seemed a little bit more chapped and your hands seemed drier and less youthful.

You flinch from your daze and try to shake it off, “Yeah, right. Um, what are we doing today?”

And it’s odd how much his heart drops at the question. This wasn’t you. This wasn’t the girl he’d grown so used to seeing every single morning in the same light. That light had dimmed. And he felt it within him that he couldn’t possibly let that light dim any more without at least an attempt at reigniting it again.

- - - - - -

When you come into school early the next morning, it startles you to turn on the light and not be alone in the class. Valerio sat at the desk with his feet up on the table and a proud smirk on his face.

“I beat you,” He comments, “Eventually.”

You wish you had the energy to respond with something witty, but it had been near enough ten days without your parents now - ten days of being alone in the flat without heating in the middle of winter, with the broken fridge and the oven that never heated up properly.

“Hey, we have a test coming up next week,” Valerio comments, “Do you mind helping me study?”

“A test?” You frown, having no recollection of anything being mentioned, “Yeah, yeah, I guess that’s okay.”

It pains him. You were clearly going through something that went beyond the realm of school drama. And yet you’d still agreed to help him with no real reason to accept his request. You could’ve easily said no. You had no obligation to help the boy who was yet to put in an ounce of effort to any day at this place. But he knew that no part of your good heart would have it in you to say no when he’d asked for help.

“Great,” He grins, “Shall we say your place tonight?”

“I-“ You stop yourself, “Could we not go somewhere else?”

“Lu will be at mine, school will be closed, and it’s too cold to go anywhere outside,” He explains, “I’ll meet you there for six.”

“How do you know where I live?”

“I have my ways.”

Those ways consisted of his actions this morning whilst he was waiting for you to make your early entrance to school. He’d broken into the filing cabinet of the school office until he found the file that belonged to you, not looking any further than at the address in the top right hand corner - he’d hope that your meeting with him tonight would tell him the rest of the information that the file couldn’t.

- - - -

At just past six, there’s a repeated buzzing to try to get into your flat and you let Valerio up cautiously. This all seemed very weird. Why had he bothered? He was Lu’s brother - if he needed help with studying why wouldn’t he go to her.

He comes into your flat, still dressed in his school uniform as he smiles widely at you, “So this is your humble abode.”

You roll your eyes, “I’m guessing you didn’t expect much from the scholarship student.”

“It’s nice,” He pokes his head around every corner, “It’s quaint. Are your parents out?”

You scoff before you can stop yourself, “You could say that.”

He looks at you like he had a million more questions to ask but you interject before he can continue. He sits down at one of the seats on your dining table.

“So, I haven’t really prepared much for studying, I figured we could just go through the content and then see which bits you struggle with the most-“

“(Y/n), are you okay?” He cuts in, showing more compassion in that one question than you’d heard from anyone for a long time.

You swallow the lump in your throat, “I told you I’m fine. Can we please just get on with studying?”

“It’s me, of course I didn’t come here to study,” He rolls his eyes, “You can talk to me, you know?”

“Why would I do that? So you can go and tell the rest of them that the new scholarship kid actually has a kind of shitty life at the minute?” Your anger bubbles and you’re not really sure what causes it, “I’m not one of you guys and I know that.”

“Is that really what you think of me? You think I’ve come here to humiliate you,” The look of realisation on his face makes you instantly beyond guilty.

“How could I not expect that?” You sigh, “You said it yourself on my first day.”

“Things have changed since then, (Y/n).”

“Have they? Because you’re nice to me every single morning for an hour, and then the rest of the day consists of you acting like I don’t exist - I see it Valerio, I’m not an idiot,” You shake your head, “Why would I assume that much has changed?”

“Because I care about you (Y/n),” He sits upright and you can tell he cares about what he’s about to say, “I see you every morning and it’s like I’ve seen you go through this whole change since the start of the year. You became more confident and you came out of your shell, and then it all seemed to drop recently. I made up the fact that we had a test and I went into school when it was still dark so I could find your address, and then I walked myself here just so I could come and see you outside of that stupid desk at the back of the class.”

You stay silent. That was true. You couldn’t take for granted the fact that Valerio had been nice to you recently, and conscious of how much you seemed to deteriorate. You watch as he lights up a cigarette and takes a long drag.

“What’s this then? Valerio’s got feelings for the scholarship kid? I don’t think Lu will be impressed.”

You watch his lips curl into a smile and how his teeth flash bright against his dark curls, “I think she’d be surprised about me having feelings for anyone.”

And just like that, it’s probably the most genuine smile youve had in weeks.

[probably-writing-x]

Out of love (Part 1)

Guzmán x Reader

Not my gif

Let me know if you’d want to see Part 2

Summary - Guzmán has faced a lot over the past year, and you’d always been by his side through it all. It was a given. But there’s only so far that will stretch when he doesn’t reciprocate. How far will you go before you drain yourself of energy and give up on the one boy you’ve ever truly loved?

- - - - - -

Falling in love with someone was a much easier process than falling out of love with them. Nobody spoke about that part of it enough. You’d see people cry, pick themselves up and just somehow manage to be okay. But there was never enough about the struggle to release that tug on your heart, to pull it back to your chest instead of yearning to be with theirs. That’s exactly how it would be with you and Guzmán.

- - - - - -

“Do you have the homework from Chemistry?” You ask Guzmán as you wait beside his locker, watching him take out the book he’d need for first period.

“Yeah, here,” He sifts through the rest of his locker and hands a sheet to you absently, “How come you didn’t do it?”

“I-“ You pause, “Just couldn’t really focus.”

He eyes you suspiciously but shrugs anyway, “I think everyone’s feeling a bit like that at the minute.”

You nod but part of you had hoped for a little sympathy from your boyfriend at that. He knew what you were going through at home, and watching your brother deal with chemo was one of the worst experiences of your life, second to losing your best friend when Marina died. Ander was a best friend to you too, you were the sort of siblings that never argued and made everyone else think you were crazy for doing so - but you always knew you had each other and that made any argument generally seem pretty futile. Especially now.

“Are you listening?” Guzmán snaps you from your daze, now standing in front of you as he talks.

“Sorry, just thinking about-“

“Guzmán, I need to talk to you,” It’s Samuel that interrupts, a look of fear on his face as he tries to give you a half-sympathetic smile.

Your boyfriend doesn’t even question it, he goes instantly. And you’re stood alone in the corridor, the concept of priorities dawning over you. You were never going to be his.

“Ready to go to class, (Y/n)?” Nadia suggests, coming up beside you, “How are you doing?”

You start walking with her, “I’m okay, it’s not easy but we just need to be there for Ander.”

“Of course, and if my brother starts being a nuisance - I apologise.”

Just like that, it all falls into normality and the comfort of having someone eradicates the upset of missing Guzmán. Although it doesn’t last long.

- - - - - -

In the afternoon, you make your way to the hospital to meet Ander and Omar for his next round of chemo. All you’d had was a short text from Guzmán saying he’d meet you there, nothing else all day.

“Omar, I’m sure you pick the worst music every single time it’s your turn,” You roll your eyes as he plays another song in the earphones that him and Ander shared, “I can tell by Ander’s face!”

Normally, you didn’t feel awkward when the two of them were together because you normally had Guzmán with you and the four of you just relaxed into your respective couples. Today, Guzmán was late.

“Okay, okay, what about this one?” Omar suggests, flicking onto the next song hopefully.

Ander eyes you, “You okay (Y/N)?”

You glance at your brother and see so much of how he has changed. His hair was still curly on his head but you knew that wouldn’t last. He looked paler and his eyes always more tired, he looked weaker and his smile didn’t seem to spread as far anymore.

You clear your throat, “Yeah, I’m just going to grab some drinks - does anybody want anything?”

They both say no and you make your exit quickly, trying to stop yourself from crying at the sight of your brother and his boyfriend. You never cried.

“Hey,” Guzmán stops when he sees you, “Still down there?”

“Yeah, normal place,” You gesture in the direction you had come from, “How come you’re late?”

“I just had some...” He pauses, “Stuff to sort out with Samu.”

It’s instinct when you nod like you understand, “Is it okay if you stay over tonight?”

“I always stay over.”

He says it bluntly but you hope he means well. And it’s true. Every night after you’d been to chemo with Ander, Guzmán slept round yours as a way of comforting you. It’s the one pocket of him you still felt like you held.

- - - - - -

It’s too late to be awake when you find yourself still staring at the ceiling above you. Your arm is tucked underneath your head and youre trying your best to think of anything other than... this.

Guzmán is sleeping soundly beside you, soft snores coming from his direction every few minutes. It should be a sound that would make you cuddle up next to him and do the same. But you didn’t want to disturb him.

With that boy laying next to you, you’d never felt lonelier. It might be selfish to say but you didn’t lie. You still had your brother and your family but there were complications there that were beyond what you could help. And Guzmán - had you become boring to him?

Before you can spiral any further, Guzmán groans beside you as his eyes flutter open slowly.

“You’re still awake?” He frowns, “What time is it?”

His voice is groggy and you can tell he doesn’t want to open his eyes too far at fear of losing the comfort of his slumber.

“I don’t know,” You reply quietly, glancing up at the darkness that spilled through the skylight window above you, “Late.”

“It’s cold,” He mumbles, reaching out an arm and tugging you toward him.

Just like that, he’s holding you like you’re still a normal couple and you wish you could’ve just asked him and felt like he’d have laughed and pulled you to his chest without question. But part of you thought that would be a helpless way of covering these wounds. So, you inevitably force yourself to sleep just as he had. It doesn’t take long for his arms to loosen their grip around you.

- - - - - -

When you wake the next morning, it’s after a very disturbed and broken sleep. Ander is sat at the table in the kitchen and you join him with a cup of coffee in hand.

“Sleep well?” He glances up, “I don’t think I need an answer.”

You hit at his arm and roll your eyes, “Well, thanks.”

He chuckles a little and winces at the hot liquid of his drink.

“Ander, can I ask you something?” You ask him cautiously but you know you don’t need a response to continue, “Have you noticed anything different between me and Guzmán recently?”

He frowns, “I don’t know, I guess you’ve both been dealing with a lot. But I don’t know, why?”

You take in a deep breath, “I don’t think he loves me anymore.”

Ander scoffs and shakes his head, “You’re serious?”

“I don’t know,” You respond, “It’s like I’m never really sure what to say to him anymore because I don’t want to burden him. Like there’s nothing I can say to make anything that he’s going through become any easier.”

“(Y/n),” Ander squeezes your hand, “You do realise you’re going through things too. This,” He gestures to himself, “You lost your best friend, you’re trying to keep up with school on top of that... it’s hard for you!”

“I sound so self involved.”

“You sound like you care about yourself and that’s not a bad thing, ever,” Ander encourages, “Talk to him, it’s Guzmán!”

“And tell him that I want him to love me again?”

“He never stopped.”

You want to believe your brother, of course you do. But it felt like there was nothing you could say that would change how Guzmán was acting.

“Hey,” His voice is familiar but you don’t want to hear it as Guzmán pokes his head around the door of the kitchen.

“Hey man,” Ander begins, “What do you fancy for breakfast?”

“I’m not staying,” Guzmán shakes his head, “I have somewhere to be.”

He’s not addressed you once. You could shrink into the ground and there was no way of changing his mind that you weren’t a priority - not now.

When he leaves is when Ander turns to you like the other half of the puzzle has clicked into place, “(Y/n)...”

“I’m going to get ready.”

You fight back the tears that threaten to spill as you’re walking toward the stairs, though there’s nobody to watch them fall. You could easily break down right here, cry until Ander comforted you enough to stop it or until Guzmán came back through that door and realised he’d forgot to kiss you before he left, forgot to tell you he loved you. But that wouldn’t happen and so, as always, you convince yourself that tears are futile and you pull them back in. As always.

- - - - - -

It’s another week that passes until you’ve practically given up on Guzmán. Not completely. Just figuratively. He’d been dipping in and out of school all week, he missed Ander’s appointment, he’d not even mentioned the party tonight and, for once, you didn’t care. You’d go anyway. You’d keep a drink in your hand, stay with your friends, let the lights go dim and forget that you weren’t loved by the one you loved.

It’s the typical story of a break up isn’t it? The girl realises her worth and the boy realises what he’s missing. Maybe that’s not what you wanted. You wanted him to see what he had. You wanted him to see the girl in front of him that was breaking at the prospect of her life and she needed him to be there to hold her waist and force those pieces of her to stay together.

And, just as you’d hoped, the club gives you that exact escape from it all. Everybody is there, nobody really caring about anyone other than free flowing champagne from overpriced bottles.

“(Y/n)!” Omar grins from behind the bar as you go up to order a drink, it always makes you slightly more comfortable when you see him working here, “The usual?”

“I’ll have a double please,” You call over the music.

His prominent brows raise as he laughs a little, “Dont tell your brother.”

“I don’t plan on it.”

That’s how you’d plan on getting through the night. You’d convince yourself that drink was a valued coping mechanism just for this one night. You were never much of a drinker. Although, it doesn’t seem that way when Guzmán turns up later.

“(Y/n)?!” He calls as he sees you.

You’re dancing in the middle of the floor with a half drunken champagne bottle in hand, somehow still managing to stay on your feet.

“What are you doing?” Guzmán exclaims when he walks over, checking you for any signs of damage.

“Enjoying myself, more than I have done in a while!” You laugh in his face and swirl around to the music.

“Come on babe, you never drink like this!”

“No, but you do,” You hiccup, stumbling as you face him, “Dance with me.”

“I’m not dancing with you, I don’t understand why you’re doing this.”

“Come on, you’d dance with me if you loved me,” You tap at the lapel of the suit jacket he’s wearing, “Oh, shit, I forgot you didn’t love me anymore.”

His face drops. Had you really just accused him of that?

“(Y/n), you don’t know what you’re talking about. We’re going home,” Guzmán encourages, trying to grab hold of your arm.

“So now you fucking care about me?” You snap, “No, fuck this, Guzmán. I put up with enough of your shit.”

With that, you’re walking away from him and he’s hurrying through the crowd after you. It’s Ander that stops him.

“I’ll go, she doesn’t need to see you right now,” Your brother defends you, holding Guzmán back firmly.

“Are you kidding? I’m her boyfriend!” Guzmán retorts, trying to keep his eyes focused on you.

“Really?” Ander scoffs, “That’s not what it seems like.”

- - - - - -

Guzmán is pacing the floor of his own house as he waits to hear from you. The view outside is practically mocking him. He should be out there going to find you, wrap his arms around you and tell you he’d never stopped loving you. But the thirty missed calls and texts told him that wouldn’t be a good idea. His sleepless night meant that it was still early and he hoped you’d still be sleeping - even if he wanted to be beside you.

He near enough throws his phone when it starts to ring and it makes him jump away from his daze. And he has to blink a million times when he sees your face on the screen, accompanied by your name and a small crown emoji. Don’t fuck it up Guzmán.

“Hi Guzmán,” Your voice sounds so weak on the other end of the phone that it makes him stop dead in his tracks, “Are you okay?”

He’s surprised at himself when he smiles, “You want to ask about me?” He lets put a gentle, weak laugh, “Dont worry about me. Are you?”

“I’m fine, Ander made sure I got home safe, and got me through a lot of drunken emotions,” You explain, “I’ve realised I’m right to not drink much - I don’t like being drunk.”

He smiles but doesn’t respond, he’d rather hold onto every single word you were saying - let you carry the conversation.

“I’m sorry for what I said to you last night, that’s not how I wanted to have that kind of conversation,” You’re so calculated in your response that it kills him - it felt like you’d been drained of all emotion.

“No, come on, you were drunk- I just didn’t want you thinking that...”

“I meant what I said.”

His heart, his hope, his life, all feel like they crash harshly around him. They break down every piece of anything he’d built up. They take away every reason he has to get out of bed, every reason to feel loved. Just like that.

“I just need to know one thing, Guz,” You start but your voice is cracking now and he starts to realise that it’s the worst sound he could imagine, “When did you fall out of love with me?”

That was it. The words that would break him. The words that ripped away any opportunity he felt like he had at happiness. Losing you. That would be what would break it all.

“Was there something I could have done? More of, less of, anything?” You’re rambling a little but he wouldn’t dare interrupt, he wants to keep every piece of you he can, “I know it might not be worth knowing but I think I need to. Just that one question.”

His chest clenches and his head starts to throb and, just like that, there are tears pulling at his eyes and falling helplessly onto his freckles cheeks. You should be there to wipe them away. You should be there to tell him it was okay. No. He should be there to tell that to you.

“(Y/n),” He croaks out, an unwelcome sob following the word as he grips the phone with a weaker hold now, “Don’t say that.”

“I’m sorry Guzmán, I should go.”

His heart is screaming at him to say the right words.

“No, (Y/n), please!”

But the beep that comes through his phone screen tells him you’ve already gone. He keeps it pressed to his ear like you’ll be back in a split second. But it’s hopeless to think that you will be. Instead, he’s left with a thousand thoughts of everything he should’ve said to you, every time he should’ve told you how much he appreciated you. He thinks back to how many times he’s kissed you and how much more he should’ve been doing it, how he should’ve remembered every single detail of your body in bed and proven to you just how much he worshipped you. It was all of those feelings that he kept so internalised whilst he focused on everything else. Because you were always just there. And now you weren’t, the cliche of knowing what you’ve lost hits him like a ton of bricks.

[web1995]

[d-archive1948-deactivated202303]

*Switches languages in mid-sentence while talking to myself*

[tiredlibrariann]

i don’t know about u sometimes I just have to pause certain episodes bc a character was about to fuck up so bad I have to prepare myself bc this stupid little shit doesn’t feel like thinking twice about the situation and that’s when I realize that I’m too much into a TV show