Spilling the Tea Since 1923

Best thing since sliced bread before sliced bread was a thing. Granny Jo, at your service. This is not a drill. Roleplay blog. No affiliation with the glorious Betty White.

[code-granny]

Just like your grandma used to make... if she was cool like me. Word to the wise: One goes a looooong way.

[xoxowisteriaog]

[cellothereollie]

xoxowisteriaog​:

Someone come and get @code-granny .  I just received quite the question and am only answering this in the spirit of the game.  @dicknotric and @cellothereollie I guess?

A little scared to ask for this question, knowing that Granny asked it… I’m not entirely sure I’ll want to know what it is…

[xoxowisteriaog]

You know I could give you something really nerve wrecking to do so you have the chance to back out at the last minute.  I’ve got the perfect thing.  Or you can wait and see if Dick asks.  

[code-granny]

I’m just an innocent old lady asking innocent questions from my knitting group, sipping non-hallucinogenic beverages and definitely not baking pot cookies in my grandson’s oven.

[code-granny]

MFK: Riley, Angel, Professor Tipping

Fuck them all. Also open to three ways. You all have my number.

[rileyyxkim]

Ummmmmm Mc’scuse me? No way I just read that with my own two eyes. This is harassment. I thought we went over this already, I don’t do dinosaurs 🦕🦕

[code-granny]

The offer’s still out there, but we both know you couldn’t handle this much sophisicated woman.

[code-granny]

I want ya’ll to know that I am obviously Chris Evans’ leading lady.

[thatshotwilla]

You two are so cute!  When did you meet?!

[code-granny]

He’s my bail bondsman. 

[dramaticfrenchshrug]

musicxmanxtime​:

Originally posted by babejolras

it’s not a knitting factory…also if a knitting factory isn’t a knitting factory…then what is it?

I don’t fully know. I simply know that I have bailed my grandmother out of prison several times in relation to it. I believe it involves what Americans call, for some reason,  Chip N’ Dale’s, which has since ruined that cartoon for me. 

[musicxmanxtime]

That is definitely not for the innocence. Good lort what does your grandmother like to get into?

[code-granny]

Oh, wouldn’t you like to know, sonny boy?

[musicxmanxtime]

Is it wrong to say yes? cause I’m very curious.

[code-granny]

Give me a ride to the Knitting Factory and I’ll give you the tour.

[code-granny]

I want ya’ll to know that I am obviously Chris Evans’ leading lady.

[code-granny]

MFK: Riley, Angel, Professor Tipping

Fuck them all. Also open to three ways. You all have my number.

[dramaticfrenchshrug]

musicxmanxtime​:

Originally posted by babejolras

it’s not a knitting factory…also if a knitting factory isn’t a knitting factory…then what is it?

I don’t fully know. I simply know that I have bailed my grandmother out of prison several times in relation to it. I believe it involves what Americans call, for some reason,  Chip N’ Dale’s, which has since ruined that cartoon for me. 

[musicxmanxtime]

That is definitely not for the innocence. Good lort what does your grandmother like to get into?

[code-granny]

Oh, wouldn’t you like to know, sonny boy?

[misfitwithatemper]

[txt]: damn girl you gonna hit that yet??

[txt] I am hitting that.  

[misfitwithatemper]

[Txt] I didn’t want to know that

[Txt] they are not. I’m not pregnant.

[code-granny]

[txt]: You could TOTALLY remedy that

[seandubois]

[txt]: ok here's the deal [txt]: i need someone to smuggle some "plants" into my apartment [txt]: if you do this for me [txt]: i will solve the mystery of the ferris wheel biter

[txt]: Hm? [txt]: What kind of plants?

[code-granny]

[txt]: oh just some little green friends

[txt]: Weed. Jane. Fry Daddy.

[txt]: My ne'er do well grandchildren pitched my babies off of the balcony again

[seandubois]

[txt]: Oh? [txt]: Et pourquoi ne pouvez-vous pas le faire vous-même? [txt]: Oui, can do this. [txt]: For the ferris wheel biter and some of your plants.

[code-granny]

[txt]: Apparently I look like a Narc

[txt]: Do you want part of the plants or do you want part of the profit?

[txt]: I'm willing to offer 10%

[atticusx-santana]

[txt]: i have a business proposition my sketchy weasel friend [txt]: and this time it's not an underground glitter ring

[txt]: ... Weasel?  [txt]: You know what, nevermind. I don’t want to know. [txt]: Forget I even replied to this text message. It never happened. 

[atticusx-santana]

code-granny​:

[txt]: I don’t like most of the business students

[txt]: Hear me out:

[txt]: Everyone is obsessed with vintage right now

[txt]: Capitalize on that market - Elvis Impersonator Strip Club

[txt]: **drops mic**

[txt]: Or we can just steal Riley and Gia’s business model

[txt]: WE CANNOT LOSE

[txt]: **pics up mic to drop it again**

[txt]: I don’t like them either but there’s plenty naive enough to go along with something outlandish like that  [txt]: Riley and Gia’s business model is based entirely on the fact that they’re hot, it would never work.  

[code-granny]

[txt]: did you not see me drop my mic?

[txt]: you are turning up your nose at BRILLIANCE

[misfitwithatemper]

[txt]: damn girl you gonna hit that yet??

[txt] I am hitting that.  

[misfitwithatemper]

[txt] Can I adopt you as my grandma? OR you adopt me? You seem like a lot of fun to have around.   [txt] wing…wait, what? no!

[code-granny]

[txt]: ADOPTED. IT IS OFFICIAL

[txt]: And as your grandmother, I must wingwoman

[txt]: Now let me find his number off of my handy dandy list here…

[misfitwithatemper]

[Txt] yessss

[Txt] noooo. Put the list away!

[code-granny]

[txt]: he said you would make beautiful babies

[txt]: you are WELCOME

[txt]: joseph and josephine are both on the table for names

[seandubois]

[txt]: ok here's the deal [txt]: i need someone to smuggle some "plants" into my apartment [txt]: if you do this for me [txt]: i will solve the mystery of the ferris wheel biter

[txt]: Hm? [txt]: What kind of plants?

[code-granny]

[txt]: oh just some little green friends

[txt]: Weed. Jane. Fry Daddy.

[txt]: My ne'er do well grandchildren pitched my babies off of the balcony again

[rileyyxkim]

[txt]: Love the cowboy look [txt]: Save a horse ride a cowboy and TIE HIM UP

[txt]: well duh, you’d have to literally blind not to appreciate this look   [txt]: i love your enthusiasm but i draw the line at dinosaurs 😘🦕

[rileyyxkim]

code-granny​:

[txt]: well, really, it’s all Shelley and Baptiste’s fault

[txt]: if I had a great grandbaby to look after none of this would have happened

[txt]: ah, the millennials 😒 [txt]: can’t you just like... go get one from an orphanage or something? 

[code-granny]

[txt]: I tried that. They told me I can't try to give children to my grandchildren for Christmas

[txt]: Tragic, really

[jaxnotjack]

[txt]: You should hit that. And I don't mean a punching bag. [txt]: Looking out for your best interests [txt]: Good genes for the gene pool [txt]: Think of my beautiful adopted grandbabies

[txt]: Gonna wager a guess and assume you mean Ara? [txt]: We would make beautiful babies.

[code-granny]

[txt]: AHA I KNEW YOU WANNA HIT THAT

[txt]: THIS TIME HANK REALLY OWES ME FIFTY, SUCKERRRRRS

[misfitwithatemper]

[txt]: damn girl you gonna hit that yet??

[txt] I am hitting that.  

[misfitwithatemper]

[txt] Can I adopt you as my grandma? OR you adopt me? You seem like a lot of fun to have around.   [txt] wing…wait, what? no!

[code-granny]

[txt]: ADOPTED. IT IS OFFICIAL

[txt]: And as your grandmother, I must wingwoman

[txt]: Now let me find his number off of my handy dandy list here...

[rileyyxkim]

[txt]: Love the cowboy look [txt]: Save a horse ride a cowboy and TIE HIM UP

[txt]: well duh, you’d have to literally blind not to appreciate this look   [txt]: i love your enthusiasm but i draw the line at dinosaurs 😘🦕

[rileyyxkim]

code-granny​:

[txt]: no worries, i am looking out for your surely exciting sex life

[txt]: [forwards image to Tyler Reid, with winky face and “thinking of you, signed Riley Hot Pants 4 U Kim”]

[txt]: wouldn’t you like to know 😉 [txt]: ...  [txt]: okay boomer, who let you have access to technology? i’d like to have a chat 

[code-granny]

[txt]: well, really, it's all Shelley and Baptiste's fault

[txt]: if I had a great grandbaby to look after none of this would have happened