Shadowboxing
Hey-- long time. I write lots of original sapphic content on Patreon now and sometimes I update AO3, but not all that often. For just $1/month you have access to my entire original content and fanfic. Currently writing CaitVi and Arcane and an original fake dating story. So.... if you want go check me out at Patreon.com/coeurdastronaute
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But also here's Ch. 1 of Shadowboxing
'Till I collapse or I burstWhichever comes first
“This place is going to be nicer than anywhere we’ve ever lived.”
“Yeah.”
The car drifted lazily along the winding back roads between small New England towns, the afternoon sun filtering in through the canopy of lush forest. Summer sat heavy in that first week of June, droning with heat all day that barely cooled off come sunset. All of the green and nature was a welcome change for her eyes, which she thought had long grown accustomed to seeing only in the monochromatic color scheme of the city.
“You can even ride horses,” Vi reminded her sister again, for the fifth time or so. She continued to look through the brochure which had been well worn by now with her many hours spent memorizing it, dreaming with it. “So posh, huh? Just hopping on for a trot between classes.”
“Yeah.”
Vi set her jaw and took a steadying breath. There was no point getting mad at her sister right now. Why would it hurt that she was giving up everything she knew to give her sister a better life, to get them out of the system, to give them a chance? But her sister was fourteen and sheltered, viewing this move as the worst thing that could ever happen.
But Vi wasn’t a saint, and she did get annoyed from time to time. As if this wasn’t the best thing to ever happen to them. She closed the brochure and did her best to not crush it in her grip as her hands tightened into fists.
Before she could say anything though, the trees broke into a clearing and the monstrous, hallowed, ivy-covered stone walls of Foxcroft Academy. The green was massive and vibrant, well maintained with the fancy mower lines across it. It was grander than she could have imagined, and definitely someplace that someone like Vi Warwick never imagined as even the slightest chance.
This though, the sprawling, picturesque campus that actually looked like the photos hadn’t been photoshopped, was her single chance out of her life, and to her it was a terrifying opportunity. She sure as hell was going to make sure her sister took advantage of it, too.
As the car stopped in front of the large, central building, Vi looked over at her sister who seemed to be taking it all in, too. Powder didn’t know what was good for her, and Vi might not know much more, but she knew that this was the right decision, and she’d make sure she was on board.
“You ready?”
“Yeah, I guess,” Powder shrugged.
With no more ceremony, her sister grabbed her backpack and took the first steps outside of the car, leaving Vi with just herself and the echo of the car door slamming.
This is good, she sighed to herself before following. The cab driver dropped her duffle on the ground at her feet with a crunch on the gravel.
“Anything else?” he asked, looking around the trunk.
“Nope, that’s it.”
“Nothing else coming in on another train I’m going to have to bring out here?” he asked, taking inventory of the scant amount he was bringing.
“Nope,” Vi shook her head, heaving the heavy bag on her shoulder. Powder struggled with hers before Vi tossed it on her other shoulder. Somehow, it was heavier. “Thanks.”
“No problem,” he grunted as he slammed the trunk closed. “Good luck.”
The pair watched the car go back down the long road, out of the tall, wrought iron gates with the emblem on the front, and turned back to look up at the facade of the building, tilting their heads back to take all the spires and turrets. From the brochures, Vi knew that this was the original school building, a converted estate bequeathed by some rich guy. Now, the campus covered nearly 500 acres.
“Ms. Warwick! I’m so happy you made it,” a voice pulled them from their individual mulling. Feet hurried along the path toward them. “Easy trip, I hope. The train ride from the city is so lovely in the Fall, but still nice in the Summer. Hopefully it wasn’t too long.”
“It was fine,” Vi nodded, shaking the hand extended to her. She nudged her sister to do the same. “Thanks.”
“Wonderful. I’m not sure if you remember me, but I’m Dr. Sayyid, and I was on your interview panel for the scholarship.”
“Yeah, of course. Thanks again,” Vi offered. “This is my sister, Powder.”
It was hard not to remember the tall, young, striking woman with deep brown eyes who seemed to be the only smiling face on the panel. Dr. Sayyid wore the same, simple sari she wore that day just a month ago, when Vi sat in front of a table of snooty professors and answered for all of her past and potential. It seemed a bit unnecessary in her opinion, since they only offered the scholarship because she had something they wanted– athletic ability. They would use her body to put medals and cups in their cupboards and she would use her body to pull herself out of poverty and the hole her parents bore her into.
When someone tapped her on the shoulder at the gym a month ago, it took her out of her trance, the dull rhythm of the rowing machine lulling her to a safe place, outside of herself and the world. That guy said he was a coach and asked if she was interested in any sports. And now Vi was standing on a 250 year old campus that had a 97% acceptance rate to universities. A tap on the shoulder was they keys to the kingdoms.
“We’re running on a smaller staff, obviously, for the summer,” Dr. Sayyid explained, motioning for them to follow her around the building. “And official summer courses start on Monday, so this weekend is extra slow, which is perfect for exploring.”
The buildings seemed to form a little town, it’s own unit with plenty of green space. It was the space part that surprised Vi the most. She wasn’t used to seeing so much, to be able to breathe and stretch her arms without hitting anything.
“I hear you’re quite good at tinkering with electronics,” she continued, hoping to get Powder to open up. “You are very welcome to join us for a Robotics Team meeting. You’ll love our lab, Powder. I can show you tomorrow, if you want.”
“You have a lab?”
“Oh yes, a few. The Robotics Lab is attached to a maker’s space. I think you’re going to enjoy it.”
Finally showing some excitement, Powder gave her sister a somewhat hopeful look, and Vi nodded, encouraging it. She listened to the two talk about some of the amenities while she took in it all, making a note of the dining hall and the path that led to the lake for training, the gym, the clinic, the fences, the openings.
It made sense that Powder would be drawn to Dr. Sayyid. She was relatively young, for a professor, and she seemed genuinely kind and excited. Of all the tours Vi had gone on when she got to a new place, whether it be a new foster home or state facility, this one had to be the best, and watching Powder start to believe in it made it feel better. Vi would row until her hands bled.
“So this is Spence, one of the freshman girls’ dorm,” Dr. Sayyid explained as they stopped at a cozy looking building with columns and brick and real windows. It looked like a giant mansion, somehow bigger than its three stories. “And this is where you’ll be, Powder.”
Vi adjusted their bags, an end to the weight in sight.
“Tomorrow, we’ll do all the admin stuff, like ID cards and uniforms, but for now, you won’t have a problem getting in and out. What do you say, want to see your room?”
“Yeah,” Powder agreed, more excited than before.
Vi followed, trying to remember everything. She needed to know how to get to Powder no matter what.
The room itself was on the second floor toward the middle of the hall. She was in a quad, with a shared common room, though each bedroom had its own bathroom. Vi dropped the bag on one of the beds in the right-side bedroom, finally sick of carrying it. Her shoulders thanked her immediately. She watched Powder look around the space, run her hand over the empty bookshelves and desk before looking out the window at the fields in the distance.
When she turned back at Vi she smiled, finally relaxed.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I went ahead and picked up some of your books for classes on Monday, and this laptop is a little old, but it still works,” Dr. Sayyid explained, moving to the pile that sat on the end of a desk. “I just got a new one, so I figured you might get some use out of it for assignments.”
“For me?” Powder echoed, furrowing and looking back at Dr. Sayyid, trying to figure it out. She looked at Vi who gave a small shrug, unsure as well. The professor nodded enthusiastically.
“We have spare sheets and towels in the closet. It’s your responsibility to do laundry, which is down in the basement,” she continued, choosing not to dwell, though that was all Powder seemed capable of at the moment. “We’ll get you set up later. Shall we head over to see your room, Vi?”
While they walked across campus, Powder and Dr. Sayyid chatted about the buildings and some of the offerings, as well as what plans there might be for the year. Vi had never been more grateful for an adult that she was at that moment. She needed Powder to buy into this experience. She needed to have one less worry in her life, and this was hopeful for her. Cautiously hopeful, she decided.
The dorm for the senior girls was a little farther from the main heart of campus like Spence. Browning was a little smaller, a little more quaint, a little more retrofitted, but the view of the lake was everything Vi could ever want and never allowed herself to imagine.
The room on the top floor in the corner was small, with ancient paint and built ins, with heavy wooden furniture and a big bay window. She dropped her bag on the bed on one side of the room. Against the wall, sat a dresser, a desk, a small closet, and her bed, and on the other side, a mirror image.
Powder sat on her bed with a bounce and appraised it appreciatively.
“Not too bad,” she decided, making Vi smile.
Before this morning, they’d never left the city, and even then, they barely left their neighborhood. Now, they were in a different state, in a different town, and everything else truly did feel far away.
“They’re always working on the HVAC in this building,” Dr. Sayyid sighed as she opened a window to let in the faintest breeze, hoping to cut the stagnant heat. “I’ll message maintenance and let them know it’s on the fritz again. At least in the winter, the heat is great. The old boiler is more reliable than the new AC.”
Vi gripped the desk chair and took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment to finally breathe. If she did everything right, if she could keep all fo the pieces of the car together for just a year, she could keep them off the streets, keep them from being separated, keep everything from falling apart, and this felt like the closest she’d come to realizing that dream.
She could take some heat. She didn’t mind.
“I know you want to unpack, but I was going to make pizza for dinner. Do you guys want to come over and relax a bit?” Dr. Sayyid asked, clapping her hands together. “You’re probably hungry after the long day of traveling.”
“You live here?” Powder asked, hopping up. Vi didn’t move. She gripped the chair a bit tighter.
“I do. I’m a dorm supervisor, so I get to stay so I’m around if you ever need anything.”
“That’s pretty cool.”
“Yeah, I like it,” she agreed with a smile. “I can give you guys a run down of the rules and stuff, and if you like fresh veggies, we have a ton from the garden.”
Powder looked at her sister and Vi gave a slight nod, something that not many might catch, but she knew it was alright.
“I don’t like green things,” Powder explained. “Vi does.”
“Perfect, peppers for you and spinach for Vi.”
“Sounds good,” Vi offered, following along before pausing at the door and giving her room another look.
This is going to work.
XXXXXXXXXXX
Dinner was lovely. The small cottage on the edge of the eastside of campus felt well-lived in. It was cozy, as if someone had put in roots and made it their own. Vi appraised it while Powder helped make dough, rolling it out and chatting with Dr. Sayyid about their lives and such. Vi tried to figure her out, looking at photos and certificates, at stacks of books and movies, at board games and botched crochet projects.
Over freshly made pizza, they talked about her family back in India, about how much she liked teaching, about some of the fun parts of the campus and the school year. It was simple and easy, and Vi was grateful for that.
Internally, Vi debated about spending the night in Powder’s room. It wasn’t often they spent a night apart, but it was going to be something they had to get used to eventually, and so she bit her tongue, and didn’t offer when they walked back across campus. Instead, she helped Powder make her bed and unpack her bag.
“Can you believe they have cable?” she asked, flopping on the couch in the common room. “All these rooms and everyone gets cable. Isn’t that insane?”
“Three meals a day and cable,” Vi grinned. “It’s just like juvie.”
“I could get used to juvie like this,” Powder scoffed as she clicked through some channels.
“I’ll come grab you around nine tomorrow, and we’ll do breakfast at the Dining Hall before a tedious day of orientation,” Dr. Sayyid decided, though she checked to make sure they were on board. “And tomorrow you’ll have your roommates. I think you’re going to like yours, Powder. All the freshmen are new, so you’ll actually have a leg up on them to show them around.”
“You good?” Vi asked, slightly lower as Dr. Sayyid moved toward the door.
“I know where you are,” Powder nodded. Vi rumpled her hair as a goodbye. “Text me if you get scared.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Powder didn’t get up to move. She relaxed on the couch and waved and Vi understood that she needed to be alone, to experience, to thaw, to disappear. That didn’t stop her from standing outside in the hallway for a few extra moments, her hand hovering over the doorknob, as if at the sound of a cough, she’d burst back in.
Dr. Sayyid, her eyes kind and her lips twisting into a small smile put her hand on Vi’s shoulder, making her jump at the contact, retching her back into reality.
“She’s okay,” she promised. “Good kid.”
“Yeah, she’s really smart,” Vi offered, following. She let her gaze linger back to the door before they turned the corner to head downstairs.
“I can see that. It’s very obvious. She’ll do well here.”
Vi nodded and bit the inside of her lip repeatedly before clenching her jaw. She looked up at the lit window as she followed Dr. Sayyid toward her dorm yet again. She spoke about what some graduates had gone on to do, and about certain emotional supports that were in place, mental health wellness and all of those words. But mostly she walked in a mutual silence, just their feet and the gravel or the sidewalk or the grass.
“I know this is overwhelming,” the professor finally acknowledged as they paused outside of Browning. “But if you need anything, please don’t hesitate. I can answer any questions you might have– about school or anything else.”
Vi nodded again and put her hands in her pockets. Dr. Sayyid held out a card.
“My personal cell. I was the scholarship kid once who left everything she ever knew to take care of her family,” she murmured, her voice slightly more serious than Vi had heard it all evening. “Anything, Vi.”
Gently, Vi took the card in her hands and turned it over to see the neatly handwritten digits. She stared at it for a moment and swallowed before nodding and slipping it in her back pocket. Dr. Sayyid seemed to appraise her, wagering what her chances were before catching herself and offering a soothing smile.
“Enjoy your first night. Maintenance left a fan for you. I’m sorry the AC is out.”
“I’ve slept in worse spots,” Vi promised with a wry grin. “Thanks, Doc.”
“Anything, Vi, I mean it,” the professor reminded her as she turned, walking backward toward her place.
For a long beat, Vi stood outside of the dorm and looked at the campus, the trees, the sky, blue and orange, the clouds purple wisps. Sweat dried on the back of her neck and she couldn’t remember ever feeling so singular, as if no one else in the world existed. She felt the card in her pocket. She’d had those before, promises on cards, so she knew not to count on it, no matter how well-intentioned someone seemed to be. She did this all herself, and she’d keep that streak going.
She made her way inside, checking her phone as she walked to see if Powder needed anything, though she didn’t have any messages from her.
There wasn’t much to unpack. She hung up some clothes and filled only two drawers of the dresser. A stack of books were already on her bookshelves, probably from Dr. Sayyid, but Vi didn’t want to look at those just yet. It took only twenty minutes, and she was moved in. She could be packed and on her way in half the time if need be.
The showers were in the middle of the hallway. Vi dug out a change of clothes and a few toiletries, remembering to turn the fan on for when she got back to her room, hoping it would cool off. The water felt good, washing away the train and the dirt and the sweat. It reminded her of baptism, and she was reborn, different now. A Foxcroft student. People from her side of town didn’t go to Foxcroft. People from her side of town never left that side.
At the small sink in her room, Vi brushed her teeth as she picked up a novel from her pile, aimlessly wondering as she scrubbed. The Count of Monte Cristo. She flipped through the heavy book and felt slightly daunted by the size of it. She hadn’t read a book in… She furrowed, holding her toothbrush in her mouth as she flipped a page and caught some writing.
Vi- “Life is a storm, my young friend. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes. You must look into that storm and shout- Do your worst, for I will do mine!”For a jump on Fall semester. But I think you might also find some use for this story.Dr. Sayyid
She reread the words a few times, trying to figure it out. Slowly she brushed her teeth a little more and weighed the book. She looked helplessly at the shelf and wondered when she’d have time to do it all. A headstart couldn’t hurt.
She spit in the sink as the door to her room opened and she stood still in the middle of the room with a toothbrush hanging from her lips, a book tucked against her stomach, and a brilliant blue eye staring at her. Vi was certain she looked like a deer, and this girl was a semi truck barreling at her full speed, though she just stood in the doorway. She wore an eye patch on one side of her face, though a faint pink scar peaked out of the edges at the top and bottom. Her face composed itself instantaneously, the surprise gone.
“Who the hell are you?” she furrowed before looking at the number on the door and back at a piece of paper in her hand.
“Who the hell are you?” Vi managed, garbling over her toothbrush before she snagged it out of her mouth. Her heckles rose immediately.
“I was supposed to have a single,” the stranger groaned. She dropped the box balanced on her hip on the ground. “Are you in the right room?”
“Yeah. I am. Can we go back to who the hell you are?” Vi tried again, her voice stern.
The girl just stared at her, eye drifting down to her shorts and sports bra and Vi realized she was definitely less clothed than her. But she couldn't balk now. She spent enough time establishing herself in strange situations to know that you don’t blink and you certainly don’t acknowledge any weakness. In this situation, of course, the lack of clothes was a weakness, but she had to work with what she had.
“I think I’m your roommate.”
“Oh,” Vi furrowed and nodded. “Okay.”
“I’ll be back.”
Just like that, she was gone, and Vi was left, still standing there, clutching a book and a toothbrush. She looked at the box on the floor and then around her room.
“I’m Vi,” she muttered to an empty room. “Pleasure.”
Vi thought she’d have to get used to this, but she hadn’t thought about how annoying it would be. How wonderful it was that her roommate was a prime example of the most annoying kind of person. Rich fucking blue bloods.
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agreed