Coffee & Clonazepam

This is sort of a therapy blog. It's also a chronic illness whining blog, so you should probably just abandon ship now.

[coffeeandclonazepam]

Hiya! Ive been on 50 mg of lamictal for a couple months and for me (I'm schizophrenic) it doesn't do s h i t. If anything it just keeps my from sleeping (even if I take it in the morning). I'm also on abilify with it and it's still not doing anything. But maybe it will work for bipolar? Just saying bc I saw your post

Hey man, thanks! I’m really sorry your meds aren’t helping you out. It’s a nasty, painful struggle to go through. That post was actually a long time ago, and I never updated this blog, shame on me. I’ve tried so many things since then for bipolar disorder, wow. I’m now on 150mg Lamictal 2x day, and as a mood balancer it works pretty well for me. Also 200mg Seroquel, which I’ve gone up and down on with varying degrees of success. My doc keeps trying to add other things to help with depressive episodes but the side effects are always too much. *shrugs* Oh well. I hope you find something that works for you!!

[coffeeandclonazepam]

I really hate it when I end up missing a day of work because I took the recommended dose of some new medication and it fucked me up. In a bad way, I mean. Not in a “just fuck me up” kind of way.

[coffeeandclonazepam]

hey there, ive read a few of your posts and it freaked me out how much i can relate. anyway i just started taking lamictal, & i was wondering how well it works? i just stopped taking abilify because that stuff is horseshit, but..

Hi there, anon. I’ve heard horror stories about Abilify, and I’m glad you were able to come off it safely. I couldn’t take Olanzapine, which is in the same class, but I do tolerate Seroquel fairly well, now that I’ve been on a stable dose for a couple of years. Of all my meds, I wish I could ditch Seroquel the most. 

In my experience, Lamictal is the most stable concoction out of all the drugs I’ve been prescribed. It’s also used to treat migraine headaches, which can be an unexpected benefit. I started at a very small dose, probably 50mg, and at first I just took it at night. I’ve been through a ton of prescribing docs since I go through the Dept of Health and Human Services here in the US, and I honestly can’t remember how quickly I stepped up the dosage. At some point, one of my docs suggested I split the dose and take half in the morning, half at night. So now I take 250mg, 125 when I get up and 125 before I go to sleep. It works really well. I have no idea what would happen if I tried to step it down, or just stopped taking it (eep!), but I feels like it evens me out without a lot of side effects. I didn’t notice any negative effects when I started taking it, but I’ve always taken it in combination with something else, so it’s hard to tell. I wish you the best of luck with it, though! I’m here if you want to talk, about anything really, but I can definitely relate to medication management. 

[coffeeandclonazepam]

My PCP suggested I start taking Cymbalta for the chronic pain and fatigue. I’m already on an antidepressant - Viibryd, which I don’t really like, but I’ve tried to step it down and it turns my brain to mush. I feel like adding Cymbalta into the mix with Lamictal, a mood stabilizer, Seroquel, and antipsychotic, and Lexapro for anxiety, I’m taking far too many pills. I might even be at risk for serotonin syndrome if I don’t take everything at precisely the same time every day. 

The only thing I’ve noticed from Cymbalta so far are side effects - sleeping, dizziness, poor coordination. We’ll see how it goes. Doc also wants me to step down the Seroquel from 250 to 225, then 225 to 200 when I feel like I’m ready. She’s not my shrink, so technically I have two doctors managing my mental health medications, and I’m really not sure that’s a good idea.

What about you guys, any thoughts on Cymbalta for depression or pain? 

[coffeeandclonazepam]

Appt with a somewhat dismissive rheumatologist yesterday. I mean he was nice, but he spent a lot of time trying to convince me that "sometimes lab tests are false positive" and I probably didn't have an autoimmune issue - as if I were somehow excited to be there, as if I wanted Lupus or Rheumatoid Arthritis, as if this was fun for me. Then he got me up on the table for an exam and stopped when I was nearly in tears and ordered x-rays and more specific tests. I'm sure all of that will be ridiculously expensive. At least I've met my deductible. I couldn't do any of this without the good insurance policy that my company offers, so I'm thankful for that. The downside of yesterday is that I've been in constant, excruciating pain since the exam, and I managed to he the X-rays and blood work done, but I'm really having trouble making it through work today. I'm surprised I can type on my phone, actually. Typing on my keyboard is awful, even with my brace, and I just had to get a coworker to open a bottle for me. Let's hope something good comes out I all of this.

[griesly]

Pain day. Very pain day. Like bee sting on nose day.

[cat-potatoes-deactivated20470604]

going to the doctor when you’re chronically ill is weird. 

It’s like imagine everything in your house is on fire, and you’re standing there and the fire department come in like, describe the fire to me and maybe we can find what caused it and put it out. 

and you can’t just say everything so you’re like… well the fire in the curtain is the biggest but the fire in the photo albums might be doing the most damage also the fire in the couch is really inconvenient 

occasionally the fire guy is like, well your tv is on fire so it might be electronic-fireitus but that would cause other things like fire in the dvd player 

and you’re like, oh yes. that’s been on fire for years. I forgot to mention it because it’s always been a relatively small fire. It’s right next to the bookshelf which has much more fire. 

and then the fire guy is like, oh. I wouldn’t worry about that. book shelf fire just happens sometimes.

[187984329873429-deactivated2020]

When you’re depressed and someone tells you to “think positive” it’s like when the Night Vale Medical Board told people to “just stop bleeding” because it’s “inconsiderate.“

[verysmallgirl]

what doesn’t kill you makes you weird at parties

[coffeeandclonazepam]

Three more hours at work. Just three. I can do it.

[chronic-illness-cat]

[picture of a Siamese cat’s head against a triangle-sectioned background with many shades of blue. Top line of text reads: Are patients called patients || Bottom line of text reads: because they wait so long to find out what’s wrong?]

[disabilityhealth]

When someone touches me on a bad pain day

[griesly]

Keep reading

[coffeeandclonazepam]

Thursday, 8/27/15

All over pain. Tremendous pain. Difficulty sitting, standing, and walking. Tightness in my chest to the point that I couldn’t breathe. Inhaler no help. TENS unit on my shoulders did eventually help, though I’m not sure why. 

Took Friday, 8/28/15, off from work. Ironically felt better, but then again I slept most of the day. Prednisone still not helping.

Saturday, 8/29/15, the chest pain and pressure started before I took the prednisone. Doc P is referring me to a rheumatologist, as my ANA levels are moderate to high and the skin on my face is a mess. Not a butterfly rash, but yellow and brown patches that have developed quickly over the past six months. My foundation hides them pretty well (super expensive NARS, of course, because drug store foundation never matches my skin and the coverage is weak). If I learned anything from House, MD, it’s that it’s never Lupus, so keep your fingers crossed for me. 

[coffeeandclonazepam]

Ok, ok, so here’s the quick recap of my last week and a half. 

Pain flares have come back. Like, solar flare levels of pain. They started out of nowhere and they're getting worse. This whole mess started late in 2005 after I moved back to the east coast from middle america. I thought it would probably settle down after a while, I mean that was a long drive after all, but no. It got worse and worse and I saw an internist, a rheumatologist, a neurologist, and all they did was give me a couple of cortisone shots and said “Congrats, you have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue! Good luck.” 

It started to taper off in 2008 and I couldn’t believe my luck. It would flare up every now and then in response to stress or heavy physical activity, but overall it was completely manageable. 

Now it’s 2015, and not only did it hit me out of nowhere, it came back with a vengeance. I barely made it through work this week. After a visit to my doctor on Wednesday, I ended up taking Friday off. I’m on a short course of prednisone, and I’m trying to stretch out the Aleve so I don’t take too much. My poor liver, it’s been so abused I’m amazed it still functions. So far, no help. Unlike a decade ago, you can now get small TENS units at the drug store, so I’ve been using that to disrupt the pain signals where it’s worse, but it only helps for a little while. Wish me luck and more spoons. 

[coffeeandclonazepam]

Spoon Cluster (Large and Small Charms) Spoonie Necklace or Keychain

[coffeeandclonazepam]

All right, so. This is going to be a narrative blog again in a lot of ways. It’s been a useful chronicle for me to go back and see how far I’ve come in terms of my mental health since 2011. I’ve stopped drinking. I’ve made a lot of changes in medication. I’ve tried a lot of alternative methods to stabilize my mood and help control panic and anxiety. I have some other issues going on now to add to the lot, and I think I should be chronicling them somewhere other than my main blog, so this is it. I’ll keep you posted, or myself posted, or whatever.