I feel like a lot of a-specs have been using a-spec orientation as an excuse for rudeness.
This isn't something solely online, it's something I noticed in an aroace I know IRL who particularly "dislikes" a lot of men loving women or men loving men relationships in media, paired with times I have spoken about interest in characters, celebrities, or even one time I spoke about a guy who is interested in Me.
I guess I went into those conversations knowing she's aroace. But I'm a-spec, too, and I just don't think it's that hard to say more neutral things than "the guy who has a crush on you should die". Just a little overboard.
Generally, I think there are some aplatonics, asocials, acommunities, etc. who have similarly used being aplatonic, asocial, acommunity, etc., as a justification for rudeness.
This is something I feel much more about, because I an aplatonic Myself. I can be repulsed by friendship, I can be neutral to friendship, I can even be somewhat favourable due to My playful attraction and need for socialisation. Never, have I used My aplatonic identity to be rude. I don't know why some people are.
The issue I'm talking about is in no way a large issue, just a loud section of a-specs who use repulsed, negative, etc. feelings toward the attraction as reason to shit on it directly to the people involved. Not cool??
It only becomes an issue when these feelings (note: which are not harmful in themselves; though consistently feeling negative can be harmful to your mental health, especially in an amatonormative world) are voiced TO THE ATTRACTED. You could rant about it online, to someone else, whatever, but saying it directly to someone who has just expressed something positive makes you a fucking bummer.
If you want topics to be avoided when talking to you, someone who is close enough to share that with you would likely understand. If they aren't close, a gentle way of asking for a change of topic could be "I would rather discuss that with people I know more"
I wanna reiterate that disliking things, even hating things, is apart of life, whether it's about kissing, certain food, what have you. This isn't a judgement about feelings. It's about the actions some people take, based on these feelings, that leave people upset.
