Striving for perfection

hw 59.7 lw 50.2 cw 58.9 ugw 42-45 167cm somehow in semi recovery i guess TW

[coldbonesforperfection]

TW venting, suicide

I hate my life so much rn, everything is falling apart. My parents wont stop fighting, my siblings treat me like a second choice, i have terrible anxiety about university and my whole body hurts. Like literally. My joints hurt so bad and it got steadily worse over the last 7 fucking years and nothing helps. Like not at all. Something is hurting 24/7 and it never gets better and i dont know what to do. I lie down and something hurts. I sit up and something hurts. I stand up and something hurts. I walk, jog or run and something hurts.

If there wont be a miracle anytime soon, ill either kill myself directly or start therapeuutic fasting and only stop once im dead lmao

I really cant stand this any longer, im so done with all of it

I just wanna end it all

[tobi-with-an-i-deactivated20220]

[sn0w-c0vered-c0rpse]

no one’s perfect

[hungryweirdo]

[aardvarkfactory-deactivated2022]

[m0nster4dinner]

[sleep-sounds-nice-rn]

[coldbonesforperfection]

[coldbonesforperfection]

So my father just forbid me to eat cake on Easter Sunday because it has too many calories

FIRST, I know the calories, he knows nothing about them

SECOND I am at a normal/healthy weight, he is oberweight

THIRD, I can make myself purge, ge doesnt

FOURTH, I will go for a long run in the evening

FIFTH I wont eat breakfast on Sunday

But well, i guess ill just watch everyone eat cake because now there is a 0% chance that i will eat cake in Front of my father

Lmao i wish i was dead

[coldbonesforperfection]

Well we all know that no matter what i do, ill binge on the cake when Im alone

[thememedaddy]

Me irl

[fr4gileb0n3s]

we eating bones today

[classic-fat-ass]

damn i guess imma need a big fork for this fat ass

[coldbonesforperfection]

Maybe ill be perfect after eating cold bones?

Worth a try i guess 😂

[coldbonesforperfection]

So my father just forbid me to eat cake on Easter Sunday because it has too many calories

FIRST, I know the calories, he knows nothing about them

SECOND I am at a normal/healthy weight, he is oberweight

THIRD, I can make myself purge, ge doesnt

FOURTH, I will go for a long run in the evening

FIFTH I wont eat breakfast on Sunday

But well, i guess ill just watch everyone eat cake because now there is a 0% chance that i will eat cake in Front of my father

Lmao i wish i was dead

[coldbonesforperfection]

PLEASE PLEASE I NEED YOUR HELP

at school, i abaolutely loved math and physics. I studied a lot at school and got straight As in every subject. But i am at university now and my Grades are so bad. I study math and physics and i really thought that i would be goot at university. I did my work throughout the Semester, and i prepared myself for the exams. I got the results today and i almost failed my exams. Now i am feeling like the biggest dumb ass on earth

So is anyone out here who could give me some tips on how to successfully study for scientific subjects at university?

Any help is appreciated

[coldbonesforperfection]

[coldbonesforperfection]

So my family tries to take advantage of my disordered eating habits?

Like i refuse to eat ice cream and they are happy that there is more for them

I dont buy my lunch at university and they only focus on the fact that they safe 2.6euros every day that i dont eat there

Whenever they dont feel like going to the basement or to a store, they tell me to go "so that i get my steps"

Once I'm skinny, they will regret treating me like this 🥲

[coldbonesforperfection]

Lol my family is so fucked up

My dad just yelled at me for loading the pen for my tablet. Not even 30mins later He asks me to proof- read his Email.

My brother forbid me to enter his room when he was watching a yt Video. An hour later, he asks me to help him with his homework.

My mum shames me for snacking and eating too much at a time. The Same day, she worries about me skipping meals and exercising obsessively

Once i am skinny, they will regret treating me like a back-up Plan, a second choice and a useless object. Once i am skinny, i'll male Sure they die of regret

[yanderemiku]

people with eds, who caused your ed and why was it your mom?

[wynterpyxie]

Because, she had an ED at the time and hated my weight. It lead to her saying I looked nine months pregnant when I was ten years old. :)

[coldbonesforperfection]

@wynterpyxie my mum made a similar comment! When i Was 13/14 and wearing a tight Shirt, she was actually worried that i was pregnant because of how my belly looked. And since then she kept fatshaming me even though i Was far away from being fat

[coldbonesforperfection]

Just venting

I got a message that yesterday, i had contact to a Person who has covid. I was at the doctors office with my mum and later went to university.

So to decide where i had this contact, i went to my mum and asked her if she had gotten this message, too. My mum and my father were watching a movie when i asked. My mum immediately checked her Phone, but my dad just yelled at me for disturbing them and blamed me for leaving the house so often. Then He yelled at me to go to my room befor my mother could even answer me

Bruh i wish i could live on my own

[coldbonesforperfection]

I HATE my father so much

He is so commanding and controlling. He only does whatever he pleases to do and not a single thing more. He is truly convinced that his opinion is the only acceptable one and simply starts shouting whenever a minor thing doesnt go the way he wants it to

I hate him so so much

[coldbonesforperfection]

Yesterday, there was an incredible loud bang and literally the whole house was shaking. Rn, we know that it was bc of an airplane. However, my brother just admitted that he thought that i fell on the floor. This hurt so bad, i wish i would never eat again 💔

[coldbonesforperfection]

So my doctor just prescribed me medicaments that will make me constipated? Fml

[coldbonesforperfection]

I have about 6 weeks before i have to go to the doctor for a general check-up

I better lose as much weight as possible before i get there

[coldbonesforperfection]

Help i cant stop binging i just keep eating and eating

I have to go to university tomorrow and none of my clothes fit anymore (really, i dont exagerrate)

I am so fat and i still keep eating, i never stop

I hate it, i hate myself, can somebody pls make it stop

[coldbonesforperfection]

Soooo I was convinced that march would be my month. BUT MY DUMBASS FUCKED UP AND BINGED TODAY

Fml