Malboros and Coffee

• Trigger Warning: Eating Disorder• Ghost. 24. He/Him. 157cm. cw: 108.5 gw: 125✔️ 120✔️ 115✔️ 110✔️ 105, 100

[coldest-ghost]

🚨⚠️ THIS BLOG IS TRIGGERING. IF YOU DONT WANT TO SEE IT. BLOCK ME. DONT REPORT.⚠️🚨

I don't promote Eating Disorders.

The only 'pro' I am is pro recovery. I will support and encourage everyone struggling to try and find that help and support they need to beat this shit.

I will NOT give out ed tips/advice.

Everyone is deserving of recovery from these disorders, but like many mentally ill people I think we deserve to have a place to share our struggles. And find community.

If anyone ever wants or needs to talk my DMs and ask box are always open.

A little about me under the cut

Hey there,

I'm Ghost. 24. Queer trans man that uses He/Him pronouns.

I restarted T in December 2023. I had top surgery on 9/1/2024.

T has made me gain a lot of weight and now's the time to lose it.

.

Chronic pain sufferer, as well as dealing with depression, C-PTSD, DID and this ED.

I've had an ED since I was around 11 and am in constant relapse - recovery cycles.

.

I play a lot of videogames Final Fantasy XIV and Hades (and now Hades 2) are my main obsessions and I play them regularly.

.

I'm also a writer, mainly fanfiction, but also some of my own stuff. I don't want to associate my ao3 with this account but DM if you want the name of it.

Stats

Height: 5'2 (157cm)

Start weight: 128.3

Current weight: 108.5

Lowest Weight: 108.5

Final Goal Weight: 100

BMI: 20

Pounds to lose: 8.5

[coldest-ghost]

I was doing well but I caved and ate, I have to eat today too so no log from me

[coldest-ghost]

05.06

Current weight: 108.5 (-0.6)

Breakfast: 60

- Flat White (60)

Lunch: 81

- Flat white (80)

- Coke Zero (1)

Dinner: 0

Total in: 141

Total burned: 1329

Net total: -1188

Hours fasted: 96+

New LW, which is great, if I lose another 0.2lbs I will have lost 20lbs since this relapse started, which is kind of a scary amount tbh... Especially when this relapse started early April so I've only been back two months...

I'm so hungry I just want to say fuck it cave in and eat something.. I feel so bad!

[coldest-ghost]

Current weight: 109.1 (-1.4)

Breakfast: 10

- Tea (10)

Lunch: 62

- Flat white (61)

- Coke Zero (1)

Dinner: ?

- Too much to drink

Total in: ?

Total burned: 1550

Net total: ?

Hours fasted: 72+

Not only am I back under my GW, I'm also back to my LW today, but I've been here before and completely lost myself and gained a bunch, so not doing that again! Need to stay in control.

[coldest-ghost]

03.06

Current weight: 110.5 (-0.2)

Breakfast: 60

- Flat white (60)

Lunch: 81

- Flat white (80)

- Coke Zero (1)

Dinner: 0

Total in: 141

Total burned: 1600

Net total: -1459

Hours fasted: 48+

Not a massive loss but at least it's some, I'm hoping for more the longer I can keep up with fasting... Need to get back under 110

Too much coffee,I hope that doesn't affect my weigh in... And drank so much water I feel sick 🙃

EDIT: Posting the next day because I forgot to post it yesterday

[strrbrrykushc4k3]

Mascspo

per request 🖤🪽

[coldest-ghost]

02.06

Current weight: 110.7

Breakfast: 0

Lunch: 0

Dinner: 180

Iced latte (180)

Total in: 180

Total burned: 1410

Net total: -1230

Hours fasted: 24+

Gained a lot but most of it I'm praying is food weight, with a few days of fasting I'm hoping to get back to my GW...

Overestimated the iced latte cals, just to be on the safe side, hopefully I'll have lost more tomorrow...

[coldest-ghost]

Bad start to June but I will not let it be a habit... Locking back in as of now.

[pururinpuke]

[coldest-ghost]

30.05

Current weight: Too much

Breakfast: 10

- Coffee (10)

Lunch: 20

- 2 x Coffee (20)

Dinner: 83

- Skinny latte (83)

Total in: 113

Total burned: 1317

Net total: -1204

Hours fasted: 24+

That binge really set me back and is going to massively impact my monthly loss, I'm so stupid why did I give in? Ugh...

[coldest-ghost]

Start of May weight: 116.8lbs

End of May weight: 109.8lbs

Total lost: 7lbs

Not so much lost this month but still something is better than nothing! Even with my binge right at the end of the month I still managed to come out under my GW, so I'll take that. Now onto losing about 5lbs before June 23rd... We shall see

[wiltedberry]

the urge to eat and workout and have a toned body but also the urge to be as thin as the emo boys on tv

[coldest-ghost]

Binged last night, not weighing in today

[coldest-ghost]

28.05

Current weight: 109.1 (-0.7)

Breakfast: 0

Lunch: 31

- 2x Tea (20)

- Monster Ultra White (11)

Dinner: 160

- 2x rum and coke zero (160)

Total in: 191

Total burned: 1406

Net total: -1215

Hours fasted: 96+

Well at least I've still lost weight I guess, I was hoping for 108 today but I'm almost there I suppose.

I had a drink and really wanted takeaway but my fiancé hesitated on it so I didn't get any... Winning ig? I hate this disorder I wish I could have just said "no you know what I want this I'm getting it" but I can't...

[coldest-ghost]

27.05

Current weight: 109.8 (-1.1)

Breakfast: 65

- Flat white w/ skim milk (65)

Lunch: 81

- Coke Zero (1)

- Flat white (80)

Dinner: 0

Total in: 146

Total burned: 1202

Net total: -1056

Hours fasted: 72+

I'm back under my LW! And under my GW, which I'm really happy about, I wanted to get to 110 for the end of May, and I managed it, now I just have to lose another 5 hopefully before June 23rd, but I'll be happy to be between 105-110 by then so as long as I stay consistent then I can do it.

[coldest-ghost]

26.05

Current weight: 110.9 (-0.4)

Breakfast: 10

- Tea (10)

Lunch: 10

- Tea (10)

Dinner: 083

- Skinny latte (83)

Total in: 103

Total burned: 1524

Net total: -1421

Hours fasted: 48+

My phone is sorta broken and I think the stress of that is why I didn't lose too much today, at least I hope that's the reason anyway.

[coldest-ghost]

25.05

Current Weight: 111.3 (+0.8)

Breakfast: 0

Lunch: 133

- Skinny latte (133)

Dinner: 83

- Skinny latte (83)

Total in: 216

Total burned: 1583

Net total: -1367

Hours fasted: 24+

So I gained a bit which does suck but I normally don't weigh in the day after eating and I did today so less than a pound isn't that bad overall, I can lose that no problem.