Colgate/OJ

Poothtaste

[colgateoj]

My Favorite Song is Fireworks by JonTron

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the activity feed isn’t as useful as i need it to be. sure i can see the # of likes & comments but what i really need to know is how many people did i make laugh today? how many did i make cry? how many nightmares have i caused? these are numbers i need

[colgateoj]

All of them

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

lately people have been threatening to bake me into a cake and all i can imagine is jumping out of it like a showgirl

[colgateoj]

*naked gaud jumps out of a cake

Everybody at bachelor party: Screams

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

hey remember when we threw rotten vegetables at politicians while booing them offstage? let’s start that up again

[colgateoj]

Instead of metal detectors at political debates to check for weapons they now check for tomatoes

[colgateoj]

If corona virus is weak to alcohol then let’s weaponize it *pulls out a squirt gun and a bottle of rum

[colgateoj]

I’m convinced dunkin donuts doesn’t make their own croissants

[colgateoj]

Never have I ever gone into my moms bathroom and made a flamethrower out of bug spray accidentally setting the handtowel and q-tips on fires