My Favorite Song is Fireworks by JonTron
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@colgateoj
My Favorite Song is Fireworks by JonTron
the activity feed isn’t as useful as i need it to be. sure i can see the # of likes & comments but what i really need to know is how many people did i make laugh today? how many did i make cry? how many nightmares have i caused? these are numbers i need
All of them
lately people have been threatening to bake me into a cake and all i can imagine is jumping out of it like a showgirl
*naked gaud jumps out of a cake
Everybody at bachelor party: Screams
hey remember when we threw rotten vegetables at politicians while booing them offstage? let’s start that up again
Instead of metal detectors at political debates to check for weapons they now check for tomatoes
If corona virus is weak to alcohol then let’s weaponize it *pulls out a squirt gun and a bottle of rum
I’m convinced dunkin donuts doesn’t make their own croissants
Never have I ever gone into my moms bathroom and made a flamethrower out of bug spray accidentally setting the handtowel and q-tips on fires