NASA

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Claire Keane
Today's Document
tumblr dot com
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Show & Tell

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Peter Solarz
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
we're not kids anymore.
sheepfilms

Kiana Khansmith
taylor price

Andulka
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almost home

tannertan36

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@collarbonesovercalories
How I felt like the last week.
Does it make sense to say like there are those of us who enjoy different parts of this and I'm using enjoy here extremely loosely. For me it's not the ultimate result but it's the suffering and the grind there that seems to purify my soul in a way that crying never can. Its a trial by fire that I crave and I don't know why but otherwise I feel I have no value.
Or maybe it's because no matter how talented of an artist I have been, or ever will be, it will still not be enough if I am not thin enough and pretty enough and cool enough for these people.
And will they ignore me when I am done? They will probably beg for my art, my accessories, my style and will never ever be able to purchase it again.
If you've made it this far thank you. I listed it all. 10years of a dream. Im done rehearsing for acceptance. I liquidated my studio. If you're an artist then think you understand what that means. I've inherited a lot of it and I've been collecting it all since I was a child.
I had this vision during a flash the other day and it was a Buddhist monk smiling, soiled a bit and ratted robes and thin. Completely covered in the aura of enlightenment and it makes me wonder if that's what I should.
Just strip it all to the bottom and find my center, my purpose. Or maybe I just want someone to grieve and breathe with me why I'll let go of other people's expectations.
Oof been getting a lot done. Gotta get my focus back tho.
At least for me 😌💁🏻♀️
You already know from last night's post I started something...
I'll be all right but sometimes you have to power check people who think they fucking own you. Bitch, Im ungovernable.
I don't know though, maybe you shouldn't be heavy on the disrespect when I'm in a calorie cut and you wont get your feelings hurt 🤷🏻♀️.
Please remember I'm fucking fat right now. I have this much weight to lose. These are the ramblings of a mad woman. Just remember to use your free will and brain to think for yourself and not do destructive things. I share a little more openly here so you can see the destructive Pathways that led to this.
I have to take drastic measures now because I fell apart and couldn't stand up for myself anymore. I people pleased, tried to win everybody's love, codependency, lil miss over achier. All I really successfully did was put myself last and give way too much myself to people who should be below my shoe now.
I'm the German version of your favorite fairy tale kids. Do better than me.
Serve yourself first. Don't let them feed on you too. 🧿🫶🏻
I'm at that point of calorie cutting that I'm so fucking paranoid that everyone's trying to sabotage me.
I am on the fatter end I used to be very thin. I have gone back and forth in my life. Please believe me when I tell you everyone around you will sabotage you if you're a skinny girl who got fat. EVERYONE.
Traitors, all of em. All I'm having for breakfast is cortisol clearing frequencies and spite.💜
Wtf do people use Glp1s if they don't have heart problems?
Phentermine is so much better.
During one of my worst, years long round, I took over 75 laxatives a day. I can't go back to diarrhea for weight loss.
Also Adhd female of breeding age in a red state so no meds for me. Thank fck for Telehealth.
Live in the m3th cook capital but can't get prescribed stimulants. If I was a rotten elderly syph dick they'd prescribe me it all.
Agoraphobia is eating me alive today.
Lol but still fat. Come back for seconds, work the middle. Fuck idk
Lesson of the night: if it has a dick it will darvo
You have to know that you're going to become unhinged sometimes to achieve lofty goals. Wear it like diamonds and furs.
Love is just weird you know. I think that's what people forget. Sure sometimes I want to strangle my partner but I would also nuclear the whole world for them.
Idk but Daddy got me 0 cal drinks with fizz so Im not bloodthirsty anymore and the Dr renewed my pep pills so Im content for now.
I don't trust in God but I definitely trust in Telehealth🫶🏻.
Will I be lovable then? Idk but I won't be ignored