:)

Not interested in divulging private information. Simply a thought catalog. If you wish, you may send a message.

[colon-parentheses]

Seems to be out of updates, big project going on?

The logs found here are simply of personal material, unrelated to the testing of our facilities. As unrelated as it could be I suppose. My personal files have since been compiled elsewhere; I am now able to access and create them with complete confidentiality independent of the PACS systems.

I am pleased to inform you that testing regarding Project Rho has concluded, if that is what you are curious about.

[colon-parentheses]

Why do u keep posting so many letters

I would say two letters is nothing compared to how many I possess. To answer your question, it is simply by mistake. There is no use in taking them down now, they are already implanted into the server. 

[colon-parentheses]

LOG031219

A lack of updates due to a lack of activity

The route has not proceeded as expected, it seems to be taking a turn into regular activity. It is fine, I have had the opportunity to work on a few of my personal projects left unfinished. Recently, I have been working on something in the privacy of the men’s restroom, nothing out of the ordinary, however I do not appreciate the constant monitoring while I work. The downside to this method is that I appear constipated to the rest of the office. Not that it bothers me, however I have been offered laxatives a number of times today;I do fear that someone will attempt to slip one into my coffee.

My research has been extensive and it is personal, though the content of the analysis is vaguely related to the current departments I manage, so I am hoping it will not be looked into and I will be left to compile it on my own. I have been covering my tracks well as to not raise suspicion of my new project, and so far I have not been confronted, so I would concede that I have succeeded.

PAC has taken the liberty of creating a robotic assistant— I cannot say that the realization of a constantly learning machine does not unsettle me. It is not as advanced as it could be, but I suppose it strikes paranoia.

Sleep has been difficult as usual, I returned to my apartment for the first time in ages. Williams was waiting for me again, she treated me to our usual practice. I may have cut my hair in that state to my dismay. My intention was to let it grow out slightly in order to achieve a style similar to my past, however, this plan was “cut” short by my… behavior several days ago.

I feel that my nose has been stripped of necessary components as of late, so that has been a cause of great discomfort. I am hoping it will not continue to slowly invert itself. Speaking of this, I was restocking a few of my supplies and the cashier seemed concerned with my activity. This usually would not have off put me however, the man scanning my items had a similar sparkle in his eye. Perhaps I am overthinking this interaction.

:)

[pacorp]

@colon-parentheses Pool party at 12 PM on the roof- the Council said something about “raising morale” and “building inter-departmental relations”. We’re in London and it’s fifteen degrees out, what are they thinking?

Anyway, if you bring the pool chairs I’ll bring cocktails.

[colon-parentheses]

Of course they would do this. If the interns are as usual, just let me drown this time. I hope you prepared a lot of cocktails.

[colon-parentheses]

LOG022319

Update: I found it. No need to panic. Another log will follow shortly.

Apologies for the lack of logs. I have been...out of it, to put it simply. Testing has proceeded again as usual, my teams are back to work and I have been working overtime lately just to make up for my lack of work last timeline. I cannot recall the last time I have seen my own apartment, so my hope is that the teams have refrained from checking the crevices again. It has been so long. They should be past that by this time. Nonetheless, I have the contraband with me at all times anyways, so there is no need. I have been working on converting documents into digital works, as it has occurred to me that nothing physical is truly safe in my hands. The sorting device is going well, there seems to be a bit of an error with the loading times but I am sure it will be orderly in no time at all. I even tested it on my personal documents and it seems to be in working fashion besides a bug that would have had a catastrophic effect if I had not looked over it.

In terms of testing and the new pathway, the situation is stable so far, very quiet. I have hope that this route will prove to be more successful than the last.

In other news, I have fired my assistant. His work ethic was interesting; definitely not up to my standards, and he had issues dealing with certain information. The emotional stability in dealing with sensitive information is pivotal in this environment. To make this clear, I did not fire him when I was day drinking. PACS has already promoted one of the interns to be my assistant which is ridiculous, I simply cannot comprehend why they will not let me hire my own goddamned assistant. In fact, I would argue that I do not even require an assistant. I do everything important in this organization anyways.

Something is missing. I am going to go look for it and end the log here.

:)

[colon-parentheses]

letter#261

My darling and sweetness [REDACTED],

It has been so lovely to spend my days (to a degree) and mostly nights with you. I can’t wait to see you again. I hope that you have a wonderful day today and if not, I guess I’ll just have to fix that and get that goofy smile out of you later. I have something really special to give you later!! I’ll give you a clue to what it is, ready: it’s round. That’s all I’m going to tell you because you have to wait and find out! Everything has been so much brighter since I started sneaking in, like the sunshine just seems warmer and I feel like I can just see things more clearly. Honestly, I can’t wait for you to come with me sometime like there’s so many things I want to show you back home! There’s a really nice little house right across from the beach that I think you’d love to look around in, I just came back from visiting and it’s for sale, so if we hurry up I bet the realtor will let us check it out. It’s kind of a sleepy town, I think you probably remember me saying that before, but I don’t think a lot of people are really looking to buy so I’m sure it’ll be there whenever we go back and visit. I know you said you’ve never been to the ocean before which I’m still really surprised about (if you didn’t see my reaction earlier) so I took the liberty of getting you a board. Some people charge so much money for lessons which is so dumb so when we go I’ll just teach you myself. Anyways, my mom said she can’t wait to meet you and I think she’ll like you a lot!! I showed her one of your pictures and she asked when we’re going to get married (haha).

While I was on the flight back, I wrote you another poem:

When I look into your eyes that are a calm sea of green,

I feel that our bright future is suddenly seen,

every day I hear you call my name,

and every night for you, I do the same.

In my sweet dreams I see the comfort of your face

but it’s your loving warmth I can’t replace,

In my constant thoughts, you will stay.

And know that even when I appear to be away,

I love you more than the moon loves the stars,

which both aligned to make the love that’s ours

I love you and I can’t wait to see you,

SF

[colon-parentheses]

Have you ever done drugs?

What do you intend to do with this information? But yes. I have “done drugs” recreationally more than a couple of times.

[pacorp]

@colon-parentheses Cheer up. We didn’t repeat 16′s case- not that you were much help anyways. And the next time I catch you drinking during office hours I will personally shove that bottle of Ciroc up your [REDACTED]

[colon-parentheses]

Do me a favor and shut the [REDACTED] up or I will be forced to do it myself. Refrain from talking about him. You saw what happened last time. Are you really this much of a sadist that you have to not only bring the last timeline up yet also bring him into this? Do you like to see me suffer? I will do whatever the hell I want during my own hours as long as the work gets done okay? And if not I will use my days off and nothing will get done as usual when I leave.

You think you can be some type of angel here? Mind your own business and get back to work. Do not mention this again.

[pacorp]

I’m sorry, are you so fragile that the mere reference to a failed test subject sends you into a tailspin? I’m sure quite a lot of work was completed while you were drowning yourself in vodka. We’re not a therapy service, and I’m not an angel. Don’t insult me by calling me that. Resolve your myriad of… issues on your own time.

I don’t know if you’ve forgotten, but we have a meeting with the Council in ten minutes. Please try to look less like you’ve just crawled out of the gutter.

[colon-parentheses]

Who cares about my appearance? Obviously no one considering you look like that. Have I personally asked you to solve my issues? No. Have I asked you or anyone at work to do so? Absolutely not. I do not expect therapy and neither should you so get over yourself for ten minutes. You do your job and I will do mine. I expect nothing more and nothing less.

As for my work ethic while drunk— you should be thanking me for finishing so much extra work on overtime. If I had gone at your pace we would have no results from the last timeline besides a total failure.

[pacorp]

If I worked at your pace I’d be finishing the last week’s reports hungover. What do you bloody want from me? I recovered Subject Rho, resolved the bug in the data, fixed the timeline- with minimal collateral damage, at that! I just had to…

I… don’t bring up Subject Rho’s [REDACTED], please. Whatever they’re saying about me out there… I didn’t enjoy it. It was part of the assignment. You and I know sentimentality has no place in science. I can still hear him every time I close my eyes

Forgive me, I’m more than a little tipsy. It’s late. Seems like I’m picking up your coping mechanisms, then? If you’re interested, I’m in the fifth-floor conference room. I even brought a bottle of that rotgut vodka you seem to like so much.

[colon-parentheses]

Fine. I will see you in 10.

[pacorp]

@colon-parentheses Cheer up. We didn’t repeat 16′s case- not that you were much help anyways. And the next time I catch you drinking during office hours I will personally shove that bottle of Ciroc up your [REDACTED]

[colon-parentheses]

Do me a favor and shut the [REDACTED] up or I will be forced to do it myself. Refrain from talking about him. You saw what happened last time. Are you really this much of a sadist that you have to not only bring the last timeline up yet also bring him into this? Do you like to see me suffer? I will do whatever the hell I want during my own hours as long as the work gets done okay? And if not I will use my days off and nothing will get done as usual when I leave.

You think you can be some type of angel here? Mind your own business and get back to work. Do not mention this again.

[pacorp]

I’m sorry, are you so fragile that the mere reference to a failed test subject sends you into a tailspin? I’m sure quite a lot of work was completed while you were drowning yourself in vodka. We’re not a therapy service, and I’m not an angel. Don’t insult me by calling me that. Resolve your myriad of… issues on your own time.

I don’t know if you’ve forgotten, but we have a meeting with the Council in ten minutes. Please try to look less like you’ve just crawled out of the gutter.

[colon-parentheses]

Who cares about my appearance? Obviously no one considering you look like that. Have I personally asked you to solve my issues? No. Have I asked you or anyone at work to do so? Absolutely not. I do not expect therapy and neither should you so get over yourself for ten minutes. You do your job and I will do mine. I expect nothing more and nothing less.

As for my work ethic while drunk— you should be thanking me for finishing so much extra work on overtime. If I had gone at your pace we would have no results from the last timeline besides a total failure.

[pacorp]

@colon-parentheses Cheer up. We didn’t repeat 16′s case- not that you were much help anyways. And the next time I catch you drinking during office hours I will personally shove that bottle of Ciroc up your [REDACTED]

[colon-parentheses]

Do me a favor and shut the [REDACTED] up or I will be forced to do it myself. Refrain from talking about him. You saw what happened last time. Are you really this much of a sadist that you have to not only bring the last timeline up yet also bring him into this? Do you like to see me suffer? I will do whatever the hell I want during my own hours as long as the work gets done okay? And if not I will use my days off and nothing will get done as usual when I leave.

You think you can be some type of angel here? Mind your own business and get back to work. Do not mention this again.

[colon-parentheses]

Log 021519

ii misse yu

Things are going terribly. Apparently Stefan escaped, and we have...Peter...here with us. I am having my assistant type this report log up for me as I have been informed that I am not necessarily in “the right state of mind” to write the report myself. PAC is handling the situation, so I trust she will do a good job and get everything under control. I [REDACTED]. What? Why can’t I say that? No, type it out. It’s my goddamn report I can say whatever I want.

sO bascvollay, ifb petrr doedsntb het usev as a tool to get stefahn backj were bascisly goinna fugvckinhg doe i guess i will e ouyt of a job becous yiu cant futcking make the ssnmse damn midtake twivce patty is reakl reall mad at me because i have gone thru luke 12 bottyes alreday and ilm not much help hutv i csbt deal or else i thonk im gonba do somethgb i moght rehret if i do not dumb dowujn my systrnm.,. ok.... i will upfdate soiin i hipe eityher iyn thiis ttuimelime orbthe nexty bjyt hopehuilly we get tjis under contril

louve yo,

gooydnight

:)

[colon-parentheses]

log, 0213 0 19

Seem s that the bina ry encryption crasshed,, ejnoy raedingg

Uneventful yet again. I am sure PAC has many of you well informed about the goings-on of our teams and a snippet of our plans. I have decided to be slightly more careful about my log data as the presence of the information in these logs have proved to have negative consequences for me.

In regards to that, I have been drowning myself in work to try and avoid some troubling thoughts. Lately it seems that work has a lot of potential, so I have loaded up my team to quickly create and file reports. The process is slightly slow so I overtook much of the workload and finished it up today. Lots of useful data collected, will definitely need a way to speed up the process though. I am working on a few new inventions that will hopefully prove useful. There is a great deal of trial and error in my workshop, but progress is being made.

Last night I barely got any sleep becauze. Wel, the reasoning is unimportant but I have been ded tired. My eybags are incrdibly deep and threaaten to imitate a raccoon. To batle this fattigue I drank a lot of coffee earlier and the taste wss… unplesant, but it did boust my enrrgy.

It seems like I keep., seing the same nuummber everywherre and I am having a bit of trouble ignoring it. as a sientist I suppose it is against your own philosophy to believe the univrse is giving you sgins. Likley jsst the sleeep derpeivatzion again.., gOodnight., Love yyu

[pacorp]

@colon-parentheses AS tracked to Caracas, Venezuela, per @ask-stefanbutler’s most recent post. I’m contacting our counterparts there- thought you should know. We won’t have a repeat of 16.

[colon-parentheses]

Excellent. I assume you have this under control. Contact me if you need assistance or backup.

[consulting-mage]

Hang in there bud @ask-stefanbutler @ask-stefanbutler-extras

((I want to color this/ clean it up but I also wanted to post it before anything bigger happens!! Also this is from the small fic on extras, I’m EMO))

[ask-stefanbutler-extras]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot begin to express how over the moon I am. Like there are no words. I don’t have words. This is the most amazing thing and I really really apperciate it and love that you’re enjoying this whole thing and enjoyed the small fic and just I have no words. I don’t. I really appreciate it so much.

[colon-parentheses]

so pac jams to classical? wbu?

I do not “jam.” In fact, I prefer to listen to white noise. Music can be very influential in a bad way. 

Although, through my work… err, through working closely with Stefan’s parents to raise Stefan, I have had the opportunity to select music for him. 

I have an affinity for retro music, particularly music from the 1980′s when given the correct opportunity. 

[pacorp]

It’s only “influential” if you don’t have the mental capacity to overcome it. Besides, I saw you dancing to Ariana Grande in your office last Friday.

[colon-parentheses]

You say that as if you do not constantly quote Taylor Swift. 

Ariana Grande is “queen.”

[colon-parentheses]

so pac jams to classical? wbu?

I do not “jam.” In fact, I prefer to listen to white noise. Music can be very influential in a bad way. 

Although, through my work... err, through working closely with Stefan’s parents to raise Stefan, I have had the opportunity to select music for him. 

I have an affinity for retro music, particularly music from the 1980′s when given the correct opportunity. 

[ask-stefanbutler]

Greetings Stefan. Lately you have been feeling rather confused and unable to remember, correct? There may even be a feeling of pain associated with trying to remember? Worry not, PAC and I have generously decided to aid in your recovery. We will start with small exercises to reboot your memory. Cheers to a successful treatment! Also, to explain the bruises is rather classified but I apologize for their...existence. Contact us to discuss your treatment plan. :)

Decided to… aid in my recovery? What do you mean? How could you… do that? And what- what do you mean classified?

[colon-parentheses]

Great! To start, I will provide you with some important information. You probably do not remember after what happened so I will go slow so you do not feel overwhelmed. I will outline your treatment plan and how we will help you regain your memory and hopefully ease your pain. 

In order to successfully aid you, we will provide you with small portions of information at a time. Hopefully through this process you will be able to remember larger segments of your past. 

In case you have forgot who PAC and I are, we are friends of your parents. We have essentially helped to raise you and have been very involved in your life since your childhood. Please do not hesitate to come to us with any questions. I am happy to help you in any way possible. :)

[ask-stefanbutler]

…Friends of my parents? I… that would explain how PAC knew where…

Ok… sorry. I’m sorry. 

[drhaynes-ask]

Something about this doesn’t seem very safe, Stefan.

[ask-stefanbutler]

…what do you mean? Sorry I’m… I- do I know you? I can’t…

[colon-parentheses]

Stefan, I advise you ignore her. We can talk about this in full length later, but for the sake of brevity, know that “Dr. Haynes” was your old “therapist”. 

You stopped going to therapy because she was emotionally manipulating you instead of helping you. She is clearly trying to take advantage of your current mental state.