Colours of August @coloursofaugust - Tumblr Blog

tfw you know you can edit the shit out of a post 100+ times because your rp partner is sleeping

lethal weapon

if there had been any doubt before, it’s erased at the way augustus takes the blow. it speaks of experience, of someone who’s dealt with such attacks and learned how to push past the pain. a soldier, then. just like alastor. it’s painful, being confronted by the truth so. because now it’s impossible not to look back on their time together and wonder what was real, and what was all just an act. to wonder how much of them was actually them and how much was augustus playing a role.

fuck, but it hurts. knowing that the one person who’s made him open up so much, who’d managed to gain his trust his LOVE was just playing him. and when he’s alone, he’ll mourn. he’ll pick up the shattered remains of the life he’d put into this, into them, and he’ll piece them back together. he’ll pick himself up and he’ll relearn how to be alone once more. because it was foolish to think even for a second that someone like him could be anything other than alone. this was just the reminder that he needed, a reaffirmation of the truth: he was a soldier, and nothing else. he didn’t get to have a happily ever after. he didn’t get to have love, didn’t get to have a life outside of war. because that was how he’d been born, and that was how he would die: in war. it was foolish hopefulness, a desire for what could never be, that had let him pretend for this long that he could have anything else. could have them.

❛ there are no take backs, augustus. there’s no absolution. whether I shoot ya or not, none o’ this can be taken back. nothin can change the fact that you’re a death eater an I’m an auror. you’re my enemy, an nothing between us can change that. no matter how much we wish it could. ❜

there’s a gun in his hand. when did he pull the spare out? when did he turn the safety off and poise it at augustus’ chest. his heart. the heart he’d vowed to protect as if it were his own. there’s a pang, a visible flash in his eyes for just a moment as the two loyalties war with one another. one to augustus, the man he loved. and one to everyone else, all those suffering because of this war. because of what augustus and people like him were doing.

and he hates himself for this, for hesitating. because it is his duty to protect the innocent, to defend them from people like augustus who would commit genocide due to their zealous beliefs. but he’s a hufflepuff. and no matter how hard he tries, he’s loyal to a fault.

the hand holding his gun never drops, never wavers. but he doesn’t make to shoot. not yet. because as much as he hates himself for it, he can’t. not yet. he doesn’t owe augustus ANYTHING, not after he’s learned this entire thing they have is some elaborate lie. but he feels like he does. feels he has to. because even if all this was fake for augustus, it was real for him. so he will give the man he loves this one chance to escape.

❛ get out. leave an nev’r come back. I don’t wanna see ya again. ‘ere or at work. I dun’t want ta talk ta ya. I dun’t want to look at ya. I dun’t want anythin ta do wit ya. because tha next time I see ya, augustus…. the next time I will pull the trigger. ❜