cathy

anxiety & depression comfort 19 floor time post :D

[comfortfrogblog]

hi! you are always welcome here :) take a rest, care for yourself, and put your mind at ease—this is a safe place! i hope my blog can bring some comfort to you guys struggling, even if it is a super insignificant thing. this place has been getting me through a tough time and i’ve really enjoyed it so far, and i hope you have too!

my inbox is welcome to ranting, prayer requests, questions, something you want to share, anything really :) sometimes it takes me a while to reply or i may not get there at all, but please know that i read every single ask and every tag i can on my posts. you are on my mind.

but also, keep in mind that i am just a teenage girl—i am not a professional, nor do i have oodles of life experience. i will try my best to help if you are seeking advice, but please also try to find help from other places, too. my words are most likely to come from a place of comfort instead of problem-solving. i also do have my own emotional boundaries and limits that i am working on preserving, so for that reason i may not be very active in replying.

p.s. if you send an ask that you don’t want posted, make sure to tell me in the ask because i have no idea otherwise and i can’t read tone over text😭it’s not that this happens a lot, i just want to precaution because i would never want to do this to somebody!!

[comfortfrogblog]

recently i have been very content, but today i feel very sad. because at the forefront of my mind is the fact that i spent the majority of my developmental years depressed and dysfunctional instead of learning how to be a person. and learning how to be a person after the time that was specifically allotted to you by your human brain and also society is really difficult because it’s like. reshaping all of your internal processes and reforming neural pathways. and i hate it, i hate every day waking up in my unwashed sheets and going to sleep laying my face on my unwashed pillowcase, i hate walking into my bathroom and seeing the dirty messy counter, i hate my dirty messy room, i hate that i did my laundry months ago after not doing it for months but i never folded two of the loads so they have sat there in a wadded mess, i hate that i don’t do the hobbies i have been wanting to do for years, i hate that books lie unread and my embroidery untouched and my crochet unlearned. and i hate that i feel this way every day but i don’t have the tenacity or perseverance to do all the things to fix it. i hate that i procrastinate and i hate that even though i see these messes, i don’t clean them up, i don’t make my room nice to live in, i hate that i can’t take care of myself. i hate that i want to learn to cook for myself but i don’t do it. i hate that living and working or doing school means i never have the energy to be a person. i hate that even when im not working or doing school, i still don’t have the energy to be a person, because it’s like i’ve never been one before, doing everything all at once. because being a person is so much and means doing so many things. i hate that even when i am happy and i am doing well, i don’t know how to be a person, and i hate that it feels so hard to learn.

[wavesrising-deactivated20190412]

Have compassion for yourself!!! I cannot say that enough. You are human. You are imperfect. You’ve been wrong in speech and action. You’ve made mistakes and you will make more! But you are still worthy of empathy, understanding, and love. You deserve this and I understand self compassion can be hard, but it is a practice to work at. We deserve that within ourselves. 

[slfcare]

things to do when your day's been bad

lie down on the floor beside your bed

take a shower, use the good soap

listen to a song you liked ages ago

write your thoughts out in all caps

draw a head and then 'decorate' that head however you're feeling (I drew a man with a hole for a face. It worked)

listen to a song and try to focus on one (1) instrument at a time, baseline, drums, guitar, another guitar, repeating sound effect

wash your face

take a nap or go to bed early

call someone. tell them about your horrible day or let them talk about theirs or both

go through your camera roll (specifically the screenshots folder)

go through your saved instagram posts / tumblr likes

watch That One Really Great Live Performance of That Artist You Love, then read the comments of everyone having great taste like you do

cry a little about it

remember that this day will end and another will begin. it'll be all new, never experienced before, no bad things will have happened, and you'll be okay.

[daniellasaga]

a word of advice: open your windows. wash your sheets. exfoliate your legs. read a paperback. make your bed. moisturize every inch of your body. go to sleep with soft skin and sheets that smell like the wind and a mind full of words worth dreaming about

[comfortfrogblog]

love really is like a sickness but it is one i willingly subject myself to daily

[comfortfrogblog]

i got tagged by a mutual for a thing on my main blog and i looked at some of the other people they tagged just for fun yk, and the first thing i saw on someone’s blog was my own post and yknow im just thinking and i’ve thought and i’ve concluded that that is certainly the weirdest thing ive experienced in my recent years or maybe ever

[comfortfrogblog]

so i went inactive here because life got busy as i finished high school, and then i started posting about autism on instagram in my senior year and just random things and i kind of amassed a huge following after a year and i learned so many things about myself and the world (some good and some bad) and i’ve grown a lot. but that’s over now because there is a lot of the world that is scary and bad and it’s hard to be vulnerable for that long in front of an audience and i frankly got sick of it and my body and mind became sick of it too. there were so many good people and i built a good comfy community of neurodivergents and such, but it’s still impossible to filter out the bad noise. then there was the fact that i was a young girl being pushed into the feeds of men aged 18-35, with only less than 9% of my audience being female, so that made it strange and parasocial with most of the people who were watching me. so in case you ever need anyone to tell you that blowing up on social media with your face is not as good a time as you may think, listen to me! i can tell you many stories that will make you very certain you do not want to post on big social media if you were not sure before!

so hey im back maybe and i may start comfyposting here again, or at least reblogging good stuff. there are still so many things in my inbox that i never got to answer, and even recent things—i’ve read them all. i apologize that i can’t answer at the moment or at all, but i see you. it’s still always a place you can dump thoughts and burdens, just to know someone sees it and is thinking of you, even for a minute.

here’s to tumblr’s beautiful anonymity. here’s to the comfort of being Social on Media without the horrible parts. i love tumblr so much. tumblr i love you

[comfortfrogblog]

also i dont think i said it here cause i was gone but i got diagnosed with autism in that period of time. bonkers

[comfortfrogblog]

you will feel so alive again.. like so incredibly alive. i dont know when that will be but it will be. u are gonna feel so alive that ur cheeks hurt from smiling oh man oh man i promise that day is coming. you do have a future, you do have good things coming, and you’ll survive everything that’s thrown at you until you reach that day

[comfortfrogblog]

want you guys to know that after 3 years, this remains true. i am happy and each day i feel alive, sometimes in small increments, but it’s there. i always dont want to go to work but once im there i am super happy kind of thing (working with kids definitely helps with that). living is up and down but it is a balance and if i can find that balance, then you can too

so if i have any life advice to give as a humble 18-almost-19 year old with limited knowledge of the world, it’s that you need to interact with children. it’s life giving and purifies your mind of worldgunk. i think it’s because they transfer starbit-sized pieces of their soul to you through the tinkling resonance of their laughter but idk im not super sure yet thats just my personal theory

[comfortfrogblog]

so i went inactive here because life got busy as i finished high school, and then i started posting about autism on instagram in my senior year and just random things and i kind of amassed a huge following after a year and i learned so many things about myself and the world (some good and some bad) and i’ve grown a lot. but that’s over now because there is a lot of the world that is scary and bad and it’s hard to be vulnerable for that long in front of an audience and i frankly got sick of it and my body and mind became sick of it too. there were so many good people and i built a good comfy community of neurodivergents and such, but it’s still impossible to filter out the bad noise. then there was the fact that i was a young girl being pushed into the feeds of men aged 18-35, with only less than 9% of my audience being female, so that made it strange and parasocial with most of the people who were watching me. so in case you ever need anyone to tell you that blowing up on social media with your face is not as good a time as you may think, listen to me! i can tell you many stories that will make you very certain you do not want to post on big social media if you were not sure before!

so hey im back maybe and i may start comfyposting here again, or at least reblogging good stuff. there are still so many things in my inbox that i never got to answer, and even recent things—i’ve read them all. i apologize that i can’t answer at the moment or at all, but i see you. it’s still always a place you can dump thoughts and burdens, just to know someone sees it and is thinking of you, even for a minute.

here’s to tumblr’s beautiful anonymity. here’s to the comfort of being Social on Media without the horrible parts. i love tumblr so much. tumblr i love you

[hearthspeaker]

I love you thunderstorm lullabies. I love you foggy mornings. I love you misty days. I love you birds playing in puddles. I love you raindrop-bejeweled blades of grass. I love you cool breeze.

[cheshireinthemiddle]

Someone online: "Men dont have to deal with [issue]. I have never heard a man talk about [issue]. This is a women's issue!"

Man: "I've dealt with this. I just dont speak up about it because no one car-"

People online: "Shut up. We're talking about women."

[pyrolitheus]

Of the 7 people who have confided in me that they have been roofied, 6 are men. Of the two people who have confided in me that they were waken up from sleeping by the experience of a sexual assault, both are men. Of the many people who have confided in me that someone "felt entitled to sex with me" and "got angry when I said no and treated me like I was doing something wrong," almost all of them were men talking about women. But they were all confiding in me. None of them speak openly about this because they have faced such horrible things every time they have tried.

[thal-creates]

This so much this. Once as a joke someone brought up being inappropriately touched by our female classmates but it was obv trying to share. I said it happened to me too because to women its a joke and not a big deal.

All of our male classmates said it happened to them and said it was awkward.

Everyday I realize how normalized it is when women do it. Random touches, univited sitting on laps etc

[joinsideke]

God this reminds me of a guy who said he "joked" with his friends that he had been raped by his then-girlfriend. I asked him to explain and he told me about the time he had his wisdom teeth removed. He was high as a kite and passed out when he got home. Meanwhile, his girlfriend had come over and his parents let her in, I guess unaware that he was asleep at the time. He woke up to her riding him, while he was still out of his gourd.

He ended the story saying it wasn't really rape, not like what women might actually go through, and I had to tell him it was. Like I asked him if he would have done the same thing to her and of course he wouldn't. So why wasn't it bad when it happened to him? He admitted that he had been upset that she had used him like that, but didn't do anything about it and eventually just got over it. Aside from "joking" about it, apparently, which seemed to me like the poor guy just didn't have anyone to take him seriously about it. He himself was constantly downplaying his experience on this idea that rape is something that only really happens to women.

This was years ago but it's always stuck with me.

[unpopularly-opinionated]

New blackout challenge: Every time a man has to make a joke out of their abuse in order to cope because society doesn't take them seriously, take a shot.

See you all in the ER, lads.

[cheshireinthemiddle]

Men deserve recognition and support as victims. Without it, you just get a bunch of this.

[art-notart-blog]

just wanna find the softest grass i can find and lay down in it and look at the sky for a very very very long time

[comfortfrogblog]

I hope you know how much "Floor time! Perhaps you require it" feels like one of the most essential images on the internet. Has 100% entered my lexicon. Describes a feeling that can be expressed no other way. Tysm.

i .might cry

[comfortfrogblog]

when i write journal entries i like to think that they are addressed to God because who else ! this is my secret stream of consciousness. nobody else gets to hear it. except God. he’s in his treehouse and i’m in mine and we’re talking through empty food cans connected on a wire. my pencil is my little walkie talkie and whenever i talk with it i’ll know he is on the other end and can always hear me

[valtsv]

this is going to sound like such a little sibling ass take but i genuinely believe that being a little bit annoying is actually a greater sign of maturity and self awareness than being universally likeable and on good terms with everyone

[valtsv]

if some people find me annoying and can't stand me because of how i think and act then that means i'm a fully realized human being with my own personality and opinions and free will and not just a reflective surface for other people's desires, which is in fact a good thing despite what people who want you to just be a reflection of their own opinions and desires will tell you, and why being considered "cringe" or whatever doesn't bother me at all

[valtsv]

also it's really funny when you're confident enough in yourself to know that people not liking you isn't always a sign that you're the problem. like there's something undeniably hilarious about being aware your mere existence has the power to piss someone off and ruin their day and i recommend embracing it.

[spice-ghouls]

[chiefdirector]

dyslexia and neurodivergent people

if i were to publish some surveys for dyslexic and other neurodivergent people, would anyone be willing to take it. its for my university dissertation

I would partake in the survey

yes

no

i would want to know more before answering

Voting ended onOct 12, 2023

please reblog so i can get a bigger data pool. this is very important to me