The Musings of a Cosy Girl @comfycosygirl - Tumblr Blog

got a wish list (but i just want you)

pairing: travis “teacake” meacham x reader

summary: while he was in jail, teacake made a bucket list of things he wanted to do when he got out. you were expecting some insane but harmless things on there. what you weren't expecting was one of the items to be 'crash a wedding'. and you certainly weren't expecting to be dragged into it and having to face your less than ideal feelings for your best friend.

warnings: none. fluff fluff flufffff. this is literally cliché town, a bit of fake dating (it's me), friends to lovers and i hope i did teacake's rambling justice because writing is no joke. note: i don't even know guys... you can thank @keer-y and @graywrenhart. endless thanks to them and @harringtonsdiary for being there every step of the way and encouraging me every day to actually write this. this started as a fun idea and i literally did this just for fun. i can't stress enough how this has elevated my admiration for writers even more. you guys are rockstars. wc: 6k

You were going to kill him. And then you were going to kill yourself, but first you were going to kill him.

It’s your own fault, really.

Last week you were in Teacake’s apartment, having some takeout and watching a movie because by some miracle you both had a Friday off and no social life. The TV was playing some action movie neither of you had been paying attention to because Teacake kept making comments about every single thing that happened on the screen and then going on a tangent about how this or that character reminded him of someone that had walked into the facility that day.

Your feet were resting on his lap, your legs stretched out across the couch between you, while both of you ate straight from the containers. Well, while you ate, Teacake had already inhaled his food and was now absentmindedly rubbing circles on your ankle when he wasn't busy stealing food from your container.

You looked down just in time to catch him reaching over with his fork.

“Did you not have enough of your own food?”

He froze, fork halfway there.

“Yours tastes better” he shrugged, unbothered.

You just rolled your eyes and moved your food closer to him.

The credits rolled eventually and you both stayed exactly where you were, your feet still on Teacake’s lap, and the apartment settled into that comfortable (although unusual) kind of quiet.

Teacake was scrolling through his phone, when you could tell something suddenly caught his attention. He was staring at his screen with his eyebrows pulled together like he was trying to figure something out.

You glanced over, frowning.

“What?”

He looked up at you, with a suspicious glint in his eye.

“Remember that list I told you about?” he smirked.

Oh no. Because you did remember. The one he’d made while he was still in jail. Teacake’s Freedom List. Things he wanted to do when he got out. Things he missed. Things he wanted to try out. A messy collection of ideas, small goals, and things that mattered more than he’d ever admit.

Some things were stupid. ‘Convince somebody I've got a twin for at least five minutes.’

“Come on, it’s fun! It’s like bein’ an undercover cop or some shit”, he bumped your shoulder with his.

You couldn’t help but laugh, “You’re such a weirdo.”

Another one was ‘Win one of those claw machines.’

“Dunno why that got so stuck in my head,” he shrugged “I just always thought ‘how hard can it be?’ Well, turns out, real hard. There was this little penguin wearing a scarf. Which, honestly, was kinda unnecessary because it's a penguin. Like, that's literally their whole thing, right? Not even a good one, which is the funny thing. Kinda weird lookin'. Like now that I think about it, probably not even the best toy in the machine. But he was cute, with his little scarf and everythin’. I dunno, it just looked like somethin' you'd like. And it made me think of you cause you’re always cold and then you do that thing where you put your hands on me to warm up like I’m some kinda personal heater. So I thought, alright, I'll get it for you. I try once. Didn't get it. Whatever, no big deal. I try again. Still didn't get it. Ended up spendin' like fifteen minutes on that damn thing. Kept gettin' it halfway up and then it'd drop, and I swear it was that damn scarf.”

He pointed at you.

“So truly…it’s your fault.”

You scoffed.

“… and after about the tenth try it was just a matter of pride, you feel me? Didn't even realize there were people behind me 'til I finally looked up and there were all these kids just starin' at me. I was like, okay, yeah... maybe I should give up. I was so close. I could feel it. That’s how they get you, I’m telling ya. So now I have to go back, because technically I didn’t finish that one… hey, are you listening?”

You smiled at him as something warm settled somewhere in your chest, and you decided to ignore it.

On paper, the list sounded ridiculous. Almost all of it.

But you knew better than to brush it off. Because it wasn’t really about the things themselves. It was about the little pieces of a life he’d been waiting to get back to.

Things most people never thought twice about. The things he’d missed. Things you never thought about until someone took them away. Things he’d imagined doing when he finally had the chance. New experiences he couldn’t wait to try. Even if those experiences were trying to get a penguin with a scarf from a claw machine. And maybe you liked being part of those experiences more than you should have.

It wasn’t all chaotic though, some were so ordinary and yet so meaningful they felt like a punch in the gut when you heard about them. ‘Take a walk with nowhere to be.’ Not some huge adventure. Just a walk.

But you knew what that meant for him. Because you noticed. You knew because sometimes he’d stand outside his apartment for a few extra seconds before going in. You knew because every now and then he’d look at you with this quiet little smile, like he still couldn’t believe this was his life now.

Like he was still getting used to having time that belonged to him.

Maybe that was the problem. You noticed a bit too much. And maybe you were also starting to notice that you might want your time to be a bit his too.

Somewhere along the way, your feelings for Teacake had shifted. And you didn’t know how to feel about that. At first, you just thought it was you missing him after so much time without him. That you had missed his stupid jokes, his voice, the way he always seemed to know when something was wrong or when he looked at you with that familiar smile that made everything feel better. Of course you’d want to spend more time with him. Of course you’d feel your chest tighten every time he laughed. You had missed your best friend.

But when those feelings didn’t go away, you started to realize that maybe it wasn’t just because you had missed him.

So naturally, you tried to ignore it and push those thoughts away. But sometimes you caught yourself looking at him a little too long. And you’d have to look away. Because you weren’t ready to admit what that meant.

“I remember,” you replied, softer than you meant to.

He smiled, apparently that was all the encouragement he needed.

He turned over the phone wordlessly. It was some article about a ridiculously expensive wedding. One of those where people wear suits that cost more than your car, the venue looks like something out of a movie and a person with allergies’ nightmares, and the food had names no one could pronounce.

You stared at the screen. Then back at him. Then at the screen again.

“It’s a wedding,” you deadpanned.

He frowned.

“I know it’s a wedding, dummy.”

“Well, what do you want me to say, Tea? It looks like another rich people wedding to me.”

He just kept looking between you and his screen shifting slightly on the couch as he tried and failed to hide the smile pulling at his lips.

“Why are you showing me this?” you narrowed your eyes.

His smile widened at your question.

“I still got stuff on there.”

Which is how you now found yourself in the middle of a conversation with Aunt... Lisa? Linda? about how absolutely exhausting finding a nanny for your toddler is these days but “you just have to put in the effort if you want to go to The Hamptons, you know?”

“Right,” you nodded like you had any idea what you were talking about. "Can't have the wrong nanny in... the Hamptons.”

You had walked in waiting for someone to stop you at any second, notice you weren't on the guest list, call security to escort the two of you out, and with the night ending with Teacake behind bars again.

Turns out, there was nothing to worry about. People just assumed you belonged there. That was apparently the secret. Show up, look more or less sharp and just walk around like you had the right to be there. And sure, maybe it was because everyone was too busy looking at themselves to look at you too closely but hey, you weren’t going to complain about that. You were, however, going to complain about being abandoned fifteen minutes in to a group of people talking about things like summer houses, annoying husbands, and which places were “too crowded” this time of year.

She laughed like you had said something hilarious. God, even her laughter sounded expensive.

“Oh, honey, not in the Hamptons,” she corrected, touching your arm like she was talking to a child “For the Hamptons. I love him, of course, but bringing a toddler to The Hamptons is not very relaxing, now, is it?”

Right. Because who would want to make memories with their child when they could be relaxing. Your bad.

“Right. Wouldn’t want him getting in the way of your… relaxing.”

“Exactly! You get it,” she smiled, satisfied with your answer.

The venue looked like something out of a period drama, all stone and huge windows overlooking beautiful gardens. The lawn had been turned into a reception space under the open sky, warm lights wrapped around and between the trees, flowers covered every table and there even was a huge ice swan because of course there was.

Waiters moved through the lawn with trays full of champagne and tiny pieces of food that Teacake got his hands on immediately. Somewhere near, music played softly in the background, mixing with the sound of conversations, laughter, and glasses clinking.

You looked across the crowd of perfect hair and expensive suits until you finally found him on the other side of the lawn, doing exactly what you expected. Talking. He was laughing with an old lady like he'd known her for years. He caught your eye for a second, and the corner of his mouth lifted, letting you know he was enjoying this way more than he should, before turning back to whatever conversation he had somehow charmed his way into.

He was loving this, you could tell. Everything about this place was ridiculous, and Teacake was loving all of it.

“Like, look at this. Look at the flowers. Who needs that many flowers? What happens after? They just throw 'em away? Somebody’s gotta clean all that up. And look at that cake,” he pointed at the admittedly ridiculous cake “The thing’s taller than me!”

“Look,” he pointed behind you.

You followed his gaze.

A waiter walked past carrying a tray of tiny appetizers. He immediately grabbed one of each. You stared at him.

“Are you serious?”

“What?” He shrugged, completely unapologetic, “They’re free”

“Everything is free, we shouldn’t be here” you reminded him.

“Oh, come on,” he poked your side. “you tellin’ me you weren’t even a bit curious to see what these rich folks’ weddings look like?”

You rolled your eyes at him, fighting the smile that was starting to appear when he shoved one of the appetizers into his mouth.

Before you could figure out a way to leave the conversation to grab another glass of champagne before you could rip your hair out, a voice interrupted you.

“There you are!”

A woman you didn’t recognize was making her way towards you. She had perfect curls, a dress you were sure cost more than your entire wardrobe and she was smiling at you like you were old friends.

“I was wondering when I’d get a chance to congratulate you, darling.”

“Excuse me?”

Her smile widened.

“On your engagement, of course.”

You stared at her, certain you had misheard her, or that she had you confused with someone else.

“My… engagement,” you repeated, because it was the only thing your brain managed to come up with.

“Yes!” she said excitedly “Your fiancé told my husband the happy news”

“… My what?” you asked dumbly. Your brain had stopped working. It was already halfway there when Aunt Lisa (Linda?) started talking about the importance of knowing your ‘seasonal color’ but this was the little push it needed to completely turn into mush.

“Oh, it must have been very recent,” she said with a small laugh “you don’t seem very used to the word yet.”

Yes. So recent it appeared you had become engaged at some point in the last thirty minutes.

“You two are just adorable,” she continued, unaware you were barely paying attention “I knew it the moment I saw you together.”

Teacake. Of course.

“Really,” you deadpanned.

“Yes,” she replied, completely serious. “It’s the way you two look at each other. Very sweet.”

You opened your mouth. Then closed it. Nope. You were not going to dwell on that.

“Excuse me,” you forced a smile “I need to find my… fiancé”

You looked across the lawn. He looked good. Annoyingly good. The kind of good that made you forget you were supposed to be annoyed. His bleached hair was slightly messy, a few pieces falling forward from the breeze, his top button undone, and his arms were moving with the story he was telling. And he was far too unbothered.

Fine. If he wanted to play pretend, you could play pretend. Except you were going to have more fun with it than he was.

You narrowed your eyes. And started toward him.

“There she is! The lovely fiancé.”

The woman next to Teacake was exactly what you would expect to find at one of these weddings. She was older, probably in her seventies. Grey hair in place, a pearl necklace and a… Transatlantic accent? that seemed too practiced to be real.

“Here I am” you forced a smile.

“It’s so wonderful to finally meet you, darling,” the old lady, who introduced herself as Ethel, added “you must be so happy.”

“So very happy,” you said, way too sweetly. Then you slipped your arm through Teacake’s and leaned in “Aren’t we, teacup?”

Teacake froze. He looked down at you like you had lost your mind. And when he saw your expression, he immediately realized what you were doing. You smiled wider at the panic in his eyes. Good.

“I was so sorry to hear about the ring,” Ethel said, with a sympathetic shake of her head, “How awful.”

“Right,” you falltered “The… ring.”

The non-existent ring.

“I simply cannot believe someone would steal such a valuable thing,” she continued, devastated for you “A family heirloom. And your twin brother at that!” she placed her gloved hand on her chest.

You looked at Teacake, trying to process what you were hearing. Oh, he had gone all out, hadn’t he? And he had clearly sold it, because Margaret looked heartbroken.

“Oh, my poor sweetcheeks,” you said softly, giving his arm a gentle squeeze “he was so devastated. He even tried to confront him. He is so brave, aren’t you, honeybear?”

Teacake’s eyes dropped to where you were touching him and he visibly swallowed.

“Oh, you poor thing,” she said warmly. “That must have been terribly difficult. Especially knowing he left the country with the ring…”

Jesus Christ.

“It was, but my pumpkin is so considerate,” you sighed dramatically, leaning your head on his shoulder.

“What’s with the names?” he hissed quietly, looking down at you.

“What?” you looked up at him and smiled innocently “it’s just what I call my fiancé.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll laugh about it one day,” Ethel said with a reassuring smile.

“Oh, I’m sure we will. My darling cinnamon roll always sees the bright side,” you smiled brightly.

Ethel blinked. Apparently, that was too much even for her.

“Oh yeah, I call him that sometimes. Because he’s as sweet, soft and delicious as a cinnamon roll,” you patted his cheek.

Teacake’s ears turned a funny shade of red, and you had to stop yourself from laughing.

“You two are adorable, I must say,” Ethel said, looking between the two of you, unaware of the chaos unfolding in front of her.

“He’s very affectionate,” you sighed “but he’s also very shy, my snugglebug.”

His blush somehow got worse, if that was even possible.

“You’re cute when you’re flustered,” you whispered in his ear, barely containing your laughter.

It seems that was enough for Teacake. He straightened his posture, narrowed his eyes…

And decided to tease you right back.

“You two really seem comfortable with each other,” Ethel continued “you don’t see that with couples these days, it’s quite endearing.”

Suddenly, he grabbed you by the waist, pulled you closer, and pressed you gently back against his chest.

“Oh, yeah,” he said by your ear “we can’t get enough of each other. Especially her.”

You turned your head so fast you almost knocked your forehead into his chin.

You had lost control of the situation too quickly for your liking. Because he was too close. You couldn’t focus on anything but his breath on your ear, his warm chest pressed against your back, and his hand on your waist. You needed to get it together. This was your best friend. The man who had ‘Eat an entire cheesecake’ in his Freedom List. (And who had lost a fight with a claw machine just to get you a stupid penguin, but that was besides the point).

Get it together.

“Is that what you think?” you asked, trying to ignore how breathless you sounded.

“I don’t think it, I know it,” he smirked, looking smug.

You snorted.

"What's funny?" he frowned at you.

You leaned in a bit.

“That you actually believe that.”

Teacake's eyebrows lifted and his eyes dropped for a second.

"Believe what?" Now he was the one who sounded out of breath.

“That I’m the one who can’t get enough,” you tilted your head.

His mouth opened slightly. Then closed.

“Because from where I'm standing...” you leaned in even closer. His hand at your waist shifted, his fingers moving against your side. His eyes flickered down again. “...I think you're the one who's always finding reasons to stay close.”

Ethel laughed, thinking she was just watching just two people bickering. And you two were used to this. Bickering. Bantering. That was normal. Except normally his hand wasn't resting on your waist. Or your back was against his chest. Or your noses were nearly brushing.

“Yeah, maybe you’re right.”

And he grinned.

After another hour of pretending to be a perfect couple and suffering through a few more enthusiastic congratulations from people you had never seen before, and hoped to never see again (God, how many people had he talked to?), you and Teacake finally managed to escape to a corner of the ridiculously lavish estate’s ballroom the newlyweds had rushed everyone into to witness their first dance.

Huge chandeliers, polished marble floors, and flowers decorated everywhere you looked. The orchestra was playing a romantic melody while guests gathered around the dance floor.

“You know, I thought we wouldn’t last this long,” you admitted, “and, I hate to say it, but I’m kind of having fun.”

“I t—”

“I swear to God, if you say ‘I told you so’, I’m telling everyone, walking out and leaving you to deal with the consequences,” you warned.

His hands raised in mock defense, and you both fell silent for a moment after that. When he spoke again, his voice was quieter and his gaze softened.

“I’m glad you’re doing this with me”

“The stupid list?” you frowned.

“All of it. Thank you. For staying. I know it sounds obvious, but... you didn't have to and to be honest, there were moments when it would have been easier not to. I wouldn’t have blamed ya” he was looking at you with an intensity you started to think your heart was going to beat out of your chest.

You frowned. Where was this coming from?

“So, yeah, thank you, I guess,” his eyes widened a bit “Not guess! I mean. I mean it”

His hand moved a bit more securely against your waist, and he started to gently brush circles with his thumb against your side.

The thing is, you didn’t know what you were expecting going in. But what you weren’t expecting was how right this would feel like. His hand hadn’t moved from your waist in the last hour, and you found yourself missing it when he removed it to grab a drink. Every time he grabbed your hand when he introduced you as his fiancé and smiled at you, something in your chest fluttered so violently you had to look away. This wasn’t real. This was your best friend. Yet none of it felt weird. And you found yourself craving more.

You were about to say something, anything, when you heard a tiny voice behind you.

“I like your dress.”

You both looked down. A little girl stood in front of you staring at you with wide eyes. She was wearing a pink, sparkly dress and had one of those mini purses rich people seemed so fond of and probably didn’t fit anything, but in her it looked adorable.

“Oh, thank you” you smiled at her “I like yours better. I love glitter.”

The little girl gave you the biggest smile you had ever seen. She looked at you like you had just given her the greatest compliment in the world, and you thought this might be the most adorable child you had ever encountered.

“Your hair is pretty too” she suddenly glanced at Teacake and said, “Yours is funny.”

You snorted at Teacake’s expression. You had never seen a grown man look more offended in his life.

“You look like Ken,” she added.

He blinked. That did it. You started laughing.

“And why are you laughing?” he accused, his eyes narrowing.

“Because you just look so offended and… she does have a point.”

“Okay. First of all. I do not look like Ken. And hey, I have nothin’ against Ken, alright? Ken's cool. Ken is fine. But I am not like him. Ken’s like… preppy. And he has that whole beach thing goin’ on. Me? I’m cool. And this” he pointed to his hair “is not toy hair. This is cool bleached hair, okay?”

“You’re cool,” you repeated.

“Yeah! Like, take skatin’, that was on my list. You won’t see Ken skatin’,” he scoffed, like he had made a point.

“Oh, you mean when you broke your wrist?” you raised your eyebrow.

“Okay that’s besides the point,” he waved a hand “and I still did it”

So had Ken, but you wouldn’t tell him that.

“Don’t worry Tea, anywhere else you’d be a ten,” you patted his cheek.

“Hey—”

“You two argue a lot,” the little girl observed.

You both turned to her at the same time. You didn’t know what to say to that, so you just stared at her.

“That means you like each other,” She stated, nodding to herself. If she hadn’t completely thrown you, you would have found the confidence with which she said it hilarious.

“What?” you sputtered.

You felt Teacake freeze beside you. Before any of you could say anything, she kept going.

“My mommy and daddy argue all the time too. And they’re married. But they make each other laugh after.”

She suddenly turned her head towards Teacake and looked at him with a seriousness that didn’t match her age. You didn’t know at what point this had turned into an interrogation.

“Do you make her laugh?”

You looked at Teacake. The playful look he always wore faded into something softer. His eyes moved over your face for a moment, and then he smiled.

“I try” he said quietly.

“Do you make him happy?” the little girl turned her attention to you.

You froze. Because you realized that this wasn’t part of the act anymore. These were real questions. Not questions about fake twin brothers or how long you had been together. This was about your real relationship.

Teacake answered before you had the chance to. He still had his hand around your waist. His thumb moved once, twice, against your side.

“She does.”

And he said it so naturally. Like it was a universal truth. A fact. Like someone had asked him his name. The answer came to him immediately, like didn’t have to think about it. And something in your chest loosened.

You looked back at him and put your hand over the one he had on your waist. A small gesture, but you noticed the change in his expression, his eyes dropping to both of your hands and a shy smile spread over his face.

The little girl nodded to herself, like she had just confirmed something very important.

“Good,” she said. And with that, apparently satisfied, she left, her little purse swinging at her side.

The newlyweds moved to the dance floor after that and for a minute you and Teacake watched them in silence, still in the same position you were in when the little girl left. You felt Teacake shift, and when you turned to look at him, he was already looking at you.

“You know, if there was a chance we wouldn’t get caught…” he said quietly, “I’d ask you to dance.”

You felt yourself smiling before you could stop it.

“If you asked,” you whispered. “I'd say yes.”

He turned you so you faced him, his hand still on your waist, and reached for your other hand. He held it and his thumb brushed gently across your ring finger. Your breath caught. And you swore a hundred butterflies decided to take flight in your stomach.

“Good,” he breathed with the gentlest smile you had ever seen on him.

His eyes flickered down, just briefly. And suddenly, you were aware of everything. How close you were, his thumb still brushing the place where your supposed engagement ring should be, his hand on your waist…

Before any of you could say anything else, a loud cheer erupted through the room when a very drunk groomsman encouraged everyone to go down to the gardens to watch the fireworks show.

You raised your eyebrows at Teacake and mouthed “fireworks?”. He just smirked, tugged at your hand and quickly made for the door with the rest of the guests.

“Tea, we can’t watch go watch them,” you whispered, trying not to laugh “the bride and groom will be there.”

“I know,” he didn’t even slow down. “You think I’m stupid?”

You stopped in your tracks, which made him stop suddenly with you, and looked at him dead in the eye.

“You’re not stupid,” you said firmly.

He had said it jokingly, but you knew he was still beating himself up over getting tricked into helping someone do something that put him in jail. And you couldn’t bear the thought of him blaming himself for just wanting to help someone and feeling bad about that. He just trusted the wrong person, that was all.

His eyes roamed over your face, searching for something, and something in his face softened.

“Okay,” he smiled. He interlocked his fingers with yours and squeezed your hand. “Let’s go.”

Teacake led you to a balcony hidden away from the rest of the wedding, overlooking the gardens but not directly above. You could still hear the music from the ballroom through the open doors behind you, but it was softer from this distance. Somewhere in the gardens below, you could hear people cheering and laughing.

For the first time all evening, everything slowed down. The air smelled faintly of gunpowder from the fireworks, the flowers from the garden, and the cologne Teacake was wearing.

You both watched the gardens and the firework show in silence. Out of the corner of your eye, you could feel Teacake shift beside you. His fingers tapped against the stone railing, stopped, then began again. You could see from time to time he would look at you, then back at the gardens and the sky.

You knew Teacake better than you knew yourself. He always had something to say. Sometimes, even too much, which was one of the things you found endearing about him. If something was bothering him, he usually talked more, not less.

“Hey,” you called softly, “you okay?”

“Huh?” his head turned quickly, “Yeah. Yeah, no. I’m good. So good. Everything’s great.”

You raised your eyebrows.

“Okay. Maybe not.”

You watched him carefully in the silence the end of the show had left, but he was looking everywhere except you. At the stone floor, at the sky, at the gardens. Anywhere but you. And every moment your eyes caught his he would avert his gaze so fast you would think you were going to turn him into stone. It would be funny if he wasn’t starting to worry you.

“Tea?” you said gently.

His eyes finally found yours and stayed there. He closed them for a brief second and took a deep breath. You thought you heard him whisper ‘okay, okay’ to himself but you weren’t too sure.

“Look, I know I’m probably going to mess all this up, but…” he sighed, signaling the space between you “I can’t it hold it anymore. Not after today. Which didn’t go how I was expectin’ it to go, lemme tell you that.”

He laughed nervously, shaking his head.

“I thought ‘hey it’s just another stupid item on the list’, right? No big deal. But then you walked out in that dress, and it reminded me of this poem, right, one I had to memorize in Ellsworth for Explorations in Poetry, and that was like the shortest one in there, but it was cool. ‘She walks in beauty’, or some shit like that. And I didn’t know what that guy was on about. I mean, I knew what he was sayin’, but I didn’t know know. What he meant, you know what I mean?” his voice softened “‘Til I saw you in that dress this mornin’. And I thought ‘Well shit, maybe I’m screwed’. And maybe that guy had a point. What I mean to say is…”

He took a deep breath.

“I like you” he admitted “Like… a lot. I think I might love you, to be honest with you”

He swallowed hard and he looked away.

“And I know you deserve way better than a guy who was in jail because he was too stupid to realize he was getting played. I know that, okay?” he looked back at you “But… I am tryin’ to be better.”

For a moment, you forgot how to breathe. Your heart was pounding so hard you thought it was going to beat out of your chest. Because you didn’t know what you were expecting, but it wasn’t this.

“Teacake…” you breathed.

You wanted to say a lot of things. That you didn't care about some mistake he made years ago. That you saw how hard he was trying to start a new life. That you felt the same. The words didn’t come. You just stared at him, trying to process the fact that Teacake, your best friend, who you had spent so long trying not to think about in that way, was standing in front of you saying the exact thing you had been too afraid to admit to yourself you wanted to hear.

He took your silence the wrong way.

“Look... you don't gotta say anythin'. I get it. We can just pretend I never said any of this, and I won’t make it weird. I just thought you should kn—”

“Travis.”

He stopped abruptly.

“Okay” he nodded to himself. “First name. Not a great sign. Was it the poem thing? I knew the poem was too much. Shit, I should’ve skipped the poem. Yeah, the poem was—”

You could see he was already starting to spiral. So, you did the first thing you could think of to shut him up.

You kissed him.

For a second, he went completely still. His hands stayed at his sides, like he was afraid to touch you.

Just when you were about to pull away, he sighed into your mouth, held the back of your neck softly and kissed you back so sweetly you thought your heart might burst. His lips moved against yours with a tenderness that caught you off guard. His thumb brushed slowly across your cheekbone, the touch so gentle it made your breath catch, and you felt him smile against your lips.

When you tangled one hand in his hair and grabbed the front of his suit with the other to pull him closer, he pressed you gently against the stone wall next to you. And the kiss wasn’t hesitant anymore. He kissed you with an intensity that made your heart race, like he had been waiting years to do it. Your fingers tightened on his hair and a quiet groan escaped him against your lips. The sound sent a rush through you, and he pulled you even closer. Your lips parted slightly and he immediately took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. All you could focus on was Teacake, the heat of his mouth and the feeling of his hands on your waist.

After what felt like hours but was maybe minutes, you both pulled apart breathing heavily into each other’s mouths. He pressed his forehead to yours and opened his eyes. His hair was messy from your hands, his lips swollen and he looked like he had lost his bearings. You smiled at the sight.

“Hi” you breathed.

“Wow. Hi,” he looked dazed.

You laughed and tried to enjoy the unusual sight of a speechless Teacake for a bit longer, but you were feeling too happy.

“For the record… I think I might love you too,” you confessed softly.

He blinked.

“I know,” he blurted out.

You raised an eyebrow, smiling.

“I know I love you!” he clarified quickly “Not that I knew you love me. Obviously. I would never assume something like that. Honestly, I’m still surprised you kissed me” he paused, looking uncertain for a moment. His eyes dropped for a second, then they returned to yours a bit more hesitant “Are you sure? Because I know I’m like… a lot. And I’m a fuck-up and a mess and definitely not boyfriend material. Hell, I’m not even sure I'm friend mat—”

You put your hand on his cheek and gently placed your thumb on his lips to stop his rambling. He turned his head and kissed your palm. His eyes held a vulnerability you had never seen before. Like he still wasn't sure he was worth choosing. How could he think he wasn’t enough?

“You keep talking like I don’t know who you are,” your voice softend as your thumb brushed his cheek. “I knew you before, Travis. Before everything that happened.”

“You’re ridiculous. You’re a pain in the ass sometimes.” A small smile tugged at your lips. “You tap your fingers when you’re thinking. You steal my food and then act offended if I call you out. You notice when someone’s having a bad day. You remember the smallest things people tell you because you actually listen.”

His expression softened and he gave your waist a little squeeze.

“And I know you trusted someone you shouldn’t have. I know they made you think they needed your help, and you didn’t think twice about it because you thought you were helping. Because that’s just who you are. You care. You care so much that sometimes you forget to think about yourself,” you smiled softly at him “And I love that you still choose kindness after everything that’s happened to you. I love how you show up, how you make me feel safe, how you make me laugh and make everything feel a little less hard.”

You gently grabbed his face with both of your hands so you could really make him understand. You needed him to understand.

“I know you,” you whispered “And… I know I love you too.”

Teacake stared at you for a second, and he let out a soft laugh. Then he leaned in and kissed you. When he pulled back, he stayed close, his forehead resting against yours.

For a moment, you just stayed there smiling at each other.

You took in your surroundings. And you started laughing. Because of course this was how it happened. Your first kiss and the moment you admitted you love your best friend happened at a wedding you weren’t even invited to. It felt ridiculous and yet so appropriate.

And maybe that was why, five minutes later, when everything went wrong, when someone finally realized there were two people at this wedding who shouldn’t be here, when security started making their way to you, when Teacake looked at you with that familiar glint in his eye…

You already knew you were going to run.

“Hey, sugarplum? Is this a bad time to tell you another item on the list is ‘Run a marathon’?”

To my friends and all the writers who keep fandom alive, thank you for what you do.

feel free to share your thoughts with me, but be nice this is the first thing i've written and i'm fragile

dividers by @moonstoneandmoonlight @starrliqhtt @strangergraphics and @saradika-graphics

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