a former AI, half-melted

an ask/RP blog for postgame Commander Tartar. selective. written and drawn by kyosplosion.

[commandertart]

Did you get anything nice for Squidmas?

“I didn’t get very much, since I have no family, and few friends. That, however, doesn’t bother me very much, since I don’t really observe the holiday. I went to work, like others who don’t celebrate, since Squidmas and Octivus are not national holidays.

“....although, as for the few gifts I did receive, though...”

Vivi had clearly put a lot of thought into the things she’d given him. It was very touching, actually.

[commandertart]

First stop among the long list was in the Deepsea. It's farthest from the dimensions to travel so why not start out there? Vivi wandered into Tart's home and set down several gifts on his counter with a small blue origami bird placed on top. Tart would find in his gifts a small stack of Norse and Mayan mythology, some classic comic books from the store so he can have some funtime reading, and a small package of freeze dried chocolate covered durian slices. Those were the hardest to get.

Since Tartar had worked during the holiday, it would have been relatively easy for his friend to dimension-slide directly into his apartment without him knowing. But when he had arrived home, the packages on his counter caught his attention. They stuck out amongst everything else put away neatly. The blue origami immediately told him who’d placed them, though....

( Tartar had never opened wrapped gifts before. It seemed wrong to tear through the paper and ruin it, so he slit the tape with a knife, folded it, and set it aside instead.... )

The books... Tartar had a general overview of mythological topics, but little in-depth material, so they would be an interesting read. And comics.... he didn’t normally read those, but if Vivi thought he’d enjoy them, maybe he would. And candied durians... they couldn’t have been easy to get... and they were very delicious, he found upon trying one. 

He’d been kind of grouchy towards Vivi’s excessive holiday cheer, and yet she’d still thought to get him things. The former AI felt kind of bad...

....he’d have to do something nice for her at some point. Something very nice.

[commandertart]

Speaking of Christmas songs... Do you have a favorite?

“I can’t stand any of them. They would be all right if I hadn’t heard most of them hundreds of times. And quite a number of them are so childish.....”

[commandertart]

I could never come up with what your Commander Tartar would sound like until now, I imagine that he sounds like the narrator from Stanley Parable

(( actually, he does have a canon voiceclaim - johnny yong bosch!

[commandertart]

"Baby all I want for Chritmaaaaas is yoooooooooou! To have a good time!! You have any plans for the holidays Tart?"

“Well, currently the plan is to lock myself in my apartment until the holiday music stops playing everywhere. I can’t stand hearing it any more.”

[commandertart]

Do you expect to get anything for the holidays?

“...perhaps from Alba when I see her for the Frosty Fest, but little else.”

[candykraken]

callie posing at @commandertart 

that’s showbiz, baybe

[commandertart]

*uses a stereo to blast All I Want For Christmas Is You*

Well, he can’t complain, because he did agree to it, but that doesn’t mean he has to be happy about it.

[commandertart]

I think I had asked awhile back about the freezing qualities of you sloo g tentacles, Now that's it'd colder has anything peculiar happened, or has any loose sludge been frozen? Nother question, nothing it a weird way what is the thickness of your tentacles? Is it like just sludge or is there some muscle like material keeping it slightly in the shape of tentacles?

“Truth be told, in certain temperatures, not only would my sludge freeze, but so would regular tentacles. They have the thinnest membrane on the body, so exposure to freezing temperatures and wind chill could cause serious damage.

“So! Since the deepsea temperatures regularly plunge far below freezing in the winter, I, as well as anyone else with tentacles, regularly deploy a chill hood to keep them from freezing solid.”

(( infographic featuring alba~! ))

(( as for the second part of that question, uhhhhhhhh

(( i haven’t decided!!!!!!!! so i can’t answer it LMAO

[commandertart]

"Now that it's less than a week before Christmas can I freely blast my holiday music?"

“........fine. I suppose it’s close enough to the holiday now...”

[commandertart]

can you whistle?

“I’ve tried that before, and, ah.... no. I can’t.”

May or may not be related to his inability to play wind instruments properly.

[commandertart]

One guess for the blog title's origins? I best make it count. Is it because Commander Tartar really likes pastries with a sharp or acidic taste, meaning he is the commander of tarts? Nailed it!

(( NAILED IT!!!

(( although, i certainly was thinking of his sour attitude when i shortened his name to “tart”, hahaha! 

[commandertart]

So what do you think of your alternates who have joined you in moving down the path of atonement? Do you feel any envy to those who are further down that path?

“They’ve made the right choice. I’m.... not entirely pleased that I haven’t made much progress in comparison to a few others, but.... I suppose we can’t all proceed at the same speed. Our universes are all different, after all...”

Read: yes, he’s totally jealous that some have cured Sanitization already.

[commandertart]

—  PEOPLE I’D LIKE TO KNOW BETTER !

tagged by: @bluescarfvivi​

tagging: that’s cute

ONE ( ALIAS / NAME ):  kyosplosion (all lowercase. and its various shortenings) TWO ( BIRTHDAY ):   April 17th THREE ( ZODIAC SIGN ):   Aries  FOUR ( HEIGHT ):  6′0″ FIVE ( HOBBIES ):   Drawing (digital & traditional). Vidja games. Painting. Sewing. Baking. Whitewater rafting and rock climbing and camping.  SIX ( FAVOURITE COLOUR(S) ): Brown SEVEN ( FAVOURITE BOOKS ): Bold of you to assume I read EIGHT ( LAST SONG LISTENED TO): Beneath the Mask feat. Lyn Inaizumi NINE ( LAST FILM WATCHED ): Probably one of the PreCure movies idk TEN ( INSPIRATION FOR BLOG/MUSE): I drew a gijinka for the gooey phone. I kept making headcanons for him, and that spiraled out of control and eventually some of my friends bullied me into convinced me to make a blog for him. He’s kind of gone off the rails from his original characterization, but.... oh well! He’s fun to write, so whatever. ELEVEN ( MEANING BEHIND YOUR URL ): You get exactly one guess as to where this blog title for Commander Tartar came from.

[commandertart]

Out of the new gear for the winter Splatfest, which one do yo think you'll wear?

“Almost certainly the headband. It’s the plainest. ....I am of the opinion that the other three pieces of headgear look ridiculous.”

[commandertart]

Hey Tart... what do you think of the other Tartars who still want to destroy Inkopolis?

“I don’t understand them. Or rather, I do - I did share the same sentiment once - but I just don’t identify with their point of view any longer.

“...in a way, I feel sorry for them. Being so hateful as to continue working towards wiping out an entire society after previously failing... ”

[commandertart]

how are you taking the loss?

“Well... I’m not very competitive, so it doesn’t bother me too much that my chosen team lost. Especially since I did not wind up with enough free time to make the trip to Inkopolis and participate....”