You fell in love
With someone, not me.
I wasn’t mentally prepared for this.
almost home
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@complictatedlysimple
You fell in love
With someone, not me.
I wasn’t mentally prepared for this.
Busy.
Life just gets really busy. I feel like there's just not enough time in the day.
le sigh*
I'll get back to writing soon enough.
ASA 189B: My Own Story
This class is the most amazing class that I have taken and will ever take in my years of education.
This untraditional class gives us, the underrepresented Asian Americans, a chance to stand up for ourselves. To use our voices and fight against the injustice and the oppression WE face as Asian Americans.
We won't be silenced. We can't be silenced. WE ARE SILENT NO MORE.
I took this class having no idea what I was getting myself into. Untraditional, yeah I heard that. But what in the hell does that mean anyway? "Alex is a cool guy." But who the hell is Alex? What if I don't like him?
The ten unfamiliar faces that I saw walking into this class room became the ten familiar faces of the people I adore and love with all my heart.
I didn't think I would be able to walk into this room and build the relationship that I did with these people. In the six weeks of this class, we cried together, we laughed together, we ate together, drank together, had fun together, and just enjoyed each other's company. These people are some that I can truly call family. They know more about me then anyone can ever imagine. This class gave us an opportunity to build an everlasting bond.
These 10 strangers became my family.
Six weeks of hard work and tears gave us all the opportunity to make ourselves vulnerable and let people in. To let them know us for who we really are. To let them understand why we are the way we are. We are able to strip off the mask that we wear every day to make the people around us be happy. And we are able to just be whoever the hell we want to be and do whatever the hell we want to do.
ASA 189B is a safe place for everything.
I can't have asked for a better group of people to trust my secrets in. They are the most genuine, loving, and caring people that I have met throughout my college career.
Six weeks. SIX WEEKS. Who would have thought that in six weeks we would have gotten as close as we did. Who would have thought that in six weeks we could come to love each other as much as we do. Who would have thought that these people would have been the ones that I STILL make effort to hang out with after the class has ended?
Every single time I see them on campus, I am greeted with a huge smile and a warm embrace. The love we have is truly amazing. The bond that we have...undeniable.
The ten people I met in this class changed my life. Each and every single one of their stories were powerful. It showed me a whole other side of them. It made them real. And even after everything, I can only respect them more. I have nothing but respect and love for them.
They're not just another face in a class that I took last quarter. They are people that I love and care for and miss.
I mean what better group to have six+ firsts in MOS history with?!
Having the cops come "break up" our "party."
Having not one, but TWO international students.
Having a student from another campus take this class.
All talking about our pops.
Most hang outs everrr.
Having a MOS-er make home made PHO
LAP DANCE
Successfully taking Alex to Cattlemen's
MOST pieces made it into the MOS reader.
My MOS dam is the best.
This class has changed me for the better. It has helped me learn to love myself even more. Any doubt I had against myself before this class is now gone. I deserve to be loved. I deserve to love myself. Despite all my flaws and imperfections. Despite my mistakes and my past. I deserve to be loved. I am loved. And I love every bit of myself.
This class helped me find the voice I once lost. The voice that will speak out against injustice and the voice that will speak up for me. The voice my dad gave me and taught me to use.
I rediscovered my passion and what I want to do. How I want to benefit the Asian American community, how I want to help them out, how I want to be involved and make a change. I want to be the voice that others have yet to find. I want to help others find their voice and speak up for themselves.
This class opened my eyes up to the many South East Asian organizations on campus and how great and amazing each and everyone of them is. It showed me the endless possibilities within my grasps.
Without taking MOS. I wouldn't have met the people I met. Without taking MOS. I wouldn't even TRY to join all the different SEA orbs on campus. Without taking MOS. I wouldn't have discovered the injustice and mistreatment I faced. Without taking MOS. I wouldn't have realized that no matter how tragic your story is, there is always someone out there who gets how you feel. Without taking MOS. I wouldn't be who I am RIGHT now.
I'd like to think that I've changed. Some would say for the better and some would say for the worst. I would like to think that it's for the better.
I started this walk of discovery towards my self last year. And slowly and surely I'm making my way to finding out who I am, what I am, and who I want to be. MOS aided me in rediscovering my passions, it gave me a place where I could be myself without judgement, and just really not give a care in the world for what other people think of me. I am who I am. Take it, or leave it.
If you go to UC Davis, are an Asian American student, and you have the opportunity to. I HIGHLY suggest that you take ASA 189B . I swear to you that this class will change your life. It is what you make of it. Put in your all, and you'll benefit most.
Find your voice. Speak up for yourself. Join our ever growing MOS FAM. <3
attached is our performance, missing 2 pieces. But enjoy yourselves. Watch the whole thing to fully experience it.
"Proces the process. Flush it out."
Going to UVSA summit in two weeks...and there's a high probability that I will be singing....but idk! Anyways, I was asked to possibly do a duet with someone I have yet to meet...and so I recorded this as a "sample." Anyways..It was 2 in the morning, and I was trying my best to not wake up my housemates, also a little out of tune. Merps..
Criticism, comments, whatever. Feel free to do so.
They say...
that the first impression is usually a lasting one. but is it something that you should always base your judgement of one's character off of?
I can't seem to answer that question right now.
This boy confuses me. I don't know what to think...or what to feel. le sigh*
Attraction.
This is more than physical. It's also mental.
The ability of stimulation. In my heart. In my mind. In my body.
Electricity runs through me. My thoughts run wild. My heart beats faster.
You are all consuming.
You're pulling me in. I want to be lost in you.
Disappointment.
I mean, what made me think this time was any different? I'm no more than the good friend. The girl with the "great personality." The girl that "deserves more." The girl who's time will come....
It's okay. My heart's not broken. I'm just disappointed.
The question that I'm trying to answer now is whether or not I am going to be optimistic about this situation and tell myself that "Well...maybe just MAYBE things will change." That "anything can happen if you believe."
Or...should I just try to stop myself from feeling this way. From wanting something.