â â THE REACH presents CONALL BLACKBAR, the LORD of THE SHIELD ISLANDS when the dragons danced in the sky they thought the GREENSÂ would still fly, but in the blink of an eye, they would all die. the THIRTY-TWO year old MALE who was CHEERFUL & RESILIENT before they saw the first of the flames, is now DEFENSIVE & SELF-DESTRUCTIVE after seeing the last. theyâre often associated with the smell of stale ale on the breath, old letters falling apart from age, fog rolling over the green of the moors ( paul mescal. )
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tws: mentions of death, suspected murder, alcoholism, mention of suicide
history.
to live
from a young age, conall jon blackbar was incredibly gifted at making other people smile. mischievous, certainly, but not malicious, his sole purpose in life during his youth was making others laugh, spreading joy, and helping others.
a happy-go-lucky child, he spent his early years chasing his brother around, for wherever ross blackbar was, conall was never far away. it would not be inaccurate to say he hero worshipped his older brother - a role model and sibling all in one. for as long as he can remember, conall wanted to be like ross, and flushed with pride when compared to him. they would later be joined by a sister, caitria.
the happy home of house blackbar was not to last. at an early age, conall's mother passed away, and his father turned to drink. much of conall's childhood memories are marked by his father's inebriation, and the two brothers came together to shield their sister from the worst of it.
his good nature carried him to adulthood. In his younger years, it was rare to see conall without a smile on his face and full of cheer, the kind of person youâd want at every party. he had many friends, a loud laugh, and was reasonably well-liked.
during the dance, he did what he had done for most of his life thus far - he followed his brother, fighting at his side. he is an athletic and capable fighter, with a particular talent for naval warfare.
to die
his marriage to abigail wylde was born of love, their courtship beginning when they were both very young. the dance prolonged the engagement, but they did eventually wed in 136ac, eight years ago.
they both very much wanted to be married to one another, the dance was still ongoing, and conall was not around much. conall was unfaithful to her during his time away from home. she was not faithful to him either. things became very messy, very quickly.
by the third year of their marriage, things had dramatically fallen apart. whilst they were attempting to work on their issues, those close to either party at the time were aware the couple were in a bad way, arguing often and rarely sharing a bed. this came to a head the night of her death, when the couple attended a feast and ended up in a public spat. conall excused himself, and was not seen before the end of the night. abigail remained at the feast, and was still up when most of the guests retired.
when the guests awoke the next morning, they found abigail blackbar dead at the bottom of a flight of stairs. the death was investigated, and conall ruled out as a suspect, but mud sticks - there are still persistent rumours that he offed her by chucking her down some stairs. there are other theories swirling about what happened to her, from murder, to suicide, to a drunken fall, but nothing was ever confirmed.
conall believes that his wife's death was self-inflicted. he isn't sure abigail meant to die, but certainly that the fall down the stairs was perhaps a cry for attention or out of pure desperation. therefore, even though he did not murder her directly, he still harbours some guilt for her death and holds himself responsible. in the first year of her death, he used to obsess over what could have happened to her, but obsession gave way to despair. now, he's pretty sure it was suicide, and isn't looking for answers any more.
a note from dove: if you'd like to, feel free for your character to assume a connection to abigail blackbar (nee wylde), whether friendship, enmity or anything in between, or for them to have been present at the feast and experience the death first-hand.
to exist
in the aftermath of his wife's death, many pointed the finger at conall, including those he considered friends. he never forgot those who whispered about him, even those he trusted most, and it's left him struggling to trust the people he once knew best. suspicion clouds most of his interactions.
it was during this time that relations began to deteriorate between conall and ross blackbar. this came to a head when, shortly after abigail's death, their father passed away. at the funeral, the brothers ended up in a physical fight that ended up with the two of them falling into their father's open grave. ross banished conall from bandallon, and he hasn't returned since.
he still smiles and laughs, but now, there is something pathetic about it, and he has grown incredibly self-destructive. he drinks heavily and often, throws himself into dangerous situations head first, without any sort of fear for his own safety. ironically, this actually improved his prowess in battle dramatically as he takes far less caution now than he did before.
as well as drinking, he's a big gambler. if it's an unhealthy comping mechanism, he'll try it at least once. and yet, he has retained some of himself, despite it all. he's an incredible loyal man, sensitive and caring to pretty much everyone, not just those he is close to.
in the years immediately following his wife's death, it was understandable that he would behave this way. the toll of losing a wife, his father, and his home, coupled with the fact that many people he considered friends now look at him with suspicion. it was natural to fall apart. however, he did not put himself back together. any sympathy for his situation is long gone.
heâs not a complete waster now - when sober, heâs pretty functional, which is probably why heâs still trusted to get things done. however, itâs very obvious heâs going through the motions when it comes to his day-to-day responsibilities, and taking very little joy or pride in any of it beyond the fact it occupies his thoughts in the same way going off the rails does in his free time. it is important, i think, to note that he is not so much addicted to alcohol as he is to self-destructive behaviour. he had a complete apathy for his own life at the point and doesn't much care if he lives or dies.
a spot of hope for conall is the fact he has been granted lordship of the shield islands, something that gives him a bit of purpose to get through his day.
his behaviour is only troubling to those who care for him personally, but luckily he has a fair amount to do between captaining the blackbar fleet, serving as ambassador to the reach in the riverlands, and overseeing the shield isles. heâs doing better than he could be (and has historically done when he had less on his plate), but it would not be accurate to say this man is well.
personality.
basics
in his happier years, conall had a great talent for making others laugh and a skill for mimicry and impressions. he was friendly and funny, with a large group of friends. he enjoyed being the centre of attention and entertaining.
a glutton for punishment, most of conall's destructive behaviours are born of guilt and self-loathing as a result of what happened to abigail. whilst he did not kill her, he still holds himself responsible for her death, and hasn't let go or forgiven himself for that, instead punishing himself with harmful behaviour patterns. there's a very obvious aura of patheticness about him and he berates himself constantly.
despite his toxic behaviours, he is actually quite hard-working, and is determined not to let the people he cares about down and fuck up some of the responsibilities he's been given. he takes what he does very seriously.
conall can be easily led. he's fairly passive, and will pretty much do what he's told if he trusts the person doing the telling.
his loyalty and protectiveness are perhaps his best qualities. he's an incredibly loyal man, honest, and those who know him well know he's fairly sensitive under his rougher appearance.
he's incredibly self-deprecating. conall believes the worst of himself, and expects others to as well. he can become quite bashful when someone compliments him.
rumours
the biggest and most obvious rumour is this: conall blackbar murdered his wife. it does not matter that he was ruled out as a suspect, it does not matter that she may not have been murdered at all. many people will see him as guilty, particularly if they witnessed him fighting with his wife on the night of her death.
i do not think his destructive habits are common knowledge, but certainly an open secret. he isn't actively hiding anything from anybody, but neither is he publicising it. maybe there are tentative whispers, but nothing widely spoken about.
goals
he is remarkably apathetic with regards to himself, his personal betterment and his future. when abigail died, so did any ambition or hope he may have once had. he does not dream of things anymore, and can't bring himself to want. he is actively blocking his own future by refusing to move on.
i would not say he is actively suicidal, but he does think about the concept of dying often. whilst he doesn't particularly seek death, he'd welcome it if it comes.
fears
conall's worst fears have already come to pass. there is little else that he is frightened of.
other.
the old conall is only really evident when in the company of the clover folk, where he fully lets his guard down. otherwise, he sort of lingers on the outskirts socially, and is a bit of an outcast.
he owns five wolfhounds and several setters, and training and breeding the dogs is one of the few constructive hobbies he still has. his favourite is a female wolfhound named erin.
he has a long, lanky figure, but he's strong underneath it. in battle, he favours weapons that utilise blunt force, such as maces or hammers, over blades. he is not a graceful fighter, but an effective one nonetheless. his aim is hopeless, however, and he's a terrible bowman.
he's desperate for forgiveness for what happened to abigail, but nobody can give it to him except himself. he hasn't got there yet, though, and instead looks for it in others. he wants to be redeemed, but doesn't think he deserves to be.
he sleeps like the dead. as soon as his head hits his pillow, he's out like a light for hours. and he snores too.
