still here

[concretehalloweeen]

「call me concrete」 32/any pronouns

i have issues with food, i drink and smoke daily, and i'll do most drugs if i can access them, so if any of that is triggering or upsetting, please block me. 🖤

im mixed race and all of my friends are gay or trans. if you're not down with my people, please see yourself out. i block kids. sorry but this blog is rated R.

more about me & stats below the cut

🦇🦇🦇🦇

bed/ednos. not anorexic, never have been

i live with my cat and my bf. i'll talk about whatever on here. i’ve always experienced significant weight fluctuations because of my bed/ednos, but i've been objectively fat most of my life tbh. i have hidradenitis suppurativa so i have really strict dietary restrictions to help manage that but obviously that ties into the issues with food. it's complicated. been clean from self harm since october 2025.

5'2/157cm

hw: 215lb/97kg+ (i got too scared to weigh myself)

cw: ❌

lw/gw: 107lb/48kg

ugw: 97lb/44kg

not counting calories because my mind does it involuntarily like how they depict autistic savants on tv. not willing/able to share my cw at this time but it's much lower than my hw. yay.

no gluten

no sugar

no yeast

no dairy

no nightshades

no processed meats

[paper-wounds]

[concretehalloweeen]

ive been living off ten dollar bahn mi chicken salad for days & it rockss

[moldable]

[concretehalloweeen]

i thought eating like 2,000 calories worth of taco bell last week would've triggered a huge binge cycle, but I somehow survived it? i've genuinely been doing good since, like. im still drinking too much but definitely not as much as before and yeah the scale is very slowly but steadily dropping. im not gonna have a bikini body by summertime or anything like that but im excited cause going from legit obese back to normal weight is just. yeah. its a big deal for someone who's always been fat. and once im normal weight then i can try to get to the next level.

it's just crazy cause like. going from fat to normal weight can take a couple years depending on your starting point but going from normal to like "thin" takes just as long if not longer. the human body is such an odd machine

[desireforagod]

[consecuences]

[concretehalloweeen]

so... my coworker offered to buy me taco bell and like... call me premiger i guess cause how could i refuse? so.. that happened... and yeah it was just soo many calories 🤦🏻‍♀️ i didn't actually eat as much as i counted for but it was still just too much. ugh. but it's already done, there's no sense in dwelling on it

[concretehalloweeen]

[consecuences]

[deadsignaltv]

[concretehalloweeen]

i took some "before" pics back in october... imma try to take some progress pics in another month or two, then hopefully some after pics this october. unless i blow up again but hopefully not. ive been doing pretty good besides all the wine i've been drinking 😬

[consecuences]

[dogheadeds4int]

[adicttive]

[concretehalloweeen]

i saw another user on here (manicpixiedreamgirl im pretty sure? we're not mutuals though so im not gonna tag cause that feels creepy) using an altoids tin for lil snacks and i thought it was a fantastic idea so i decided to copy. this gameboy tin was the closest thing i had though

cranberries, raisins, peanuts, sunflower kernels, pepitas, walnuts, and two almond thin cookies.

a little under 200 calories.

[concretehalloweeen]

i'm lucky i have flattering proportions and all but im still objectively fat (just got out of obese class II like.. this week basically) so it's genuinely annoying to hear people be like "you're not fatt, you're just thick/curvy ❤️" like. you're basically still saying im fat but still within the realm of being fuckable so that makes it acceptable. i just wish i was an amorphous cloud of black toxic gas or something... like tim curry in ferngully basically.