So I’m standing at Walmart, ringing up and bagging almost three hundred dollars’ worth of groceries by myself at the self checkout.
Meanwhile, the employee who is supposedly there to “monitor” things is leaning on the podium like a lifeguard at an empty pool.
Then she walks over.
Her: Why are you double bagging all of your groceries?
Me: Excuse me?
Her: You’re wasting our bags.
Me: If you don’t like the way I’m bagging them, you’re welcome to come over here and bag them yourself.
Her: That’s not my job.
Me: Okay then. I’ll bag them how I want, if that’s all right with you.
Her: But why are you using two bags?
Me: Because these bags are flimsy. I don’t want the handles snapping or the bottom ripping out in the parking lot.
Her: That’s because you’re putting too much stuff in one bag. If you took half out and put it in another bag, you wouldn’t need to double bag.
I just stare at her for a solid ten seconds.
Me: So you want me to split the items into two bags instead of double bagging them.
Her: Exactly.
Me: Which means I’d still be using two bags to hold the same stuff.
Her: No, because you wouldn’t be double bagging.
At this point my eye actually starts twitching.
So I try again.
Me: Okay, look. Here’s a jug of milk and a bottle of juice. Right now they’re double bagged. If I take the milk out and put each item in its own single bag, I’m still using two bags for two items.
Her: No, because it’s not double bagging, so it’s not the same.
Now about ten other customers are watching like it’s live theater.
Me: Is this that Common Core math everyone keeps talking about?
Her: Never mind. You just don’t get it.
And with that she walks back to her little podium and goes right back to her phone, probably texting or playing a game, while I finish doing the job that apparently isn’t hers.
I swear, self checkout should come with a math degree and a customer service award. 😂
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