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Cosmic Funnies
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@confuciusorbust
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[ Quirks an eyebrow at him— but at least he’s smiling.  A tiny bit. ]
Li Bai wrote about springtime and the beauty of nature. Â William Shakespeare wrote about dying teenagers.
[ It does feel nice please don’t stop. ]
[ Shh Yao let him rub your shoulders here sit down and he’ll just massage you yes. ]
Alright, so my writers are completely nuts— So were some of Alfred’s, though. Look at Edgar Allan Poe.
[ Smirks ]
Mm, yes. Â But there are Oxford scholars who still think Poe was British. Â I think that says something about you.
[ He’ll be okay.  Yao’s a tough cookie, although the backrub really is nice.  He mumbles a few things, but they’re against his chest.  And anyway, they’re in Chinese— a language he’s not sure Arthur can even understand.  Instead he just says— ]
Love hurts, you know? Â Your writers were right. Â I still think they were a little loopy though.
Aren’t all writers?
[ He chuckles quietly and leans back only a bit, his hands moving up to massage at the elder’s shoulders. Oh, does that feel nice, Yao? ]
[ Quirks an eyebrow at him-- but at least he's smiling. Â A tiny bit. ]
Li Bai wrote about springtime and the beauty of nature. Â William Shakespeare wrote about dying teenagers.
[ It does feel nice please don't stop. ]
[ Yao blinks— what just happened?  And he looks up at the — annoyingly — taller man while he comes back into focus.  This man who had cut him down so many times was now offering a gesture of affection.  He is confused.  But he shouldn’t be— he’s done the same thing before. ]
[ He’ll just kind of, rest his head against his chest.  And not think about the things that make him truly want to close off to the world. ]
[ It’s okay he’s just going to lightly rub the shorter man’s back because he doesn’t know anything that could lighten this situation and he just really wanted to hug him. He knows what it’s like, and he knows that look. Being lonely really sucks. ]
[ He'll be okay. Â Yao's a tough cookie, although the backrub really is nice. Â He mumbles a few things, but they're against his chest. Â And anyway, they're in Chinese-- a language he's not sure Arthur can even understand. Â Instead he just says--Â ]
Love hurts, you know? Â Your writers were right. Â I still think they were a little loopy though.
Ah…  If only we could all be as whimsical as you, Kirkland.
[ His fist rests on his cheek and now his gaze seems far away.  He thinks of the man who left him, of the woman who abandoned him, and many more lovers he’s had in the past.  No, he shouldn’t give in to the other’s advances.  He’s got a country to run. ]
[ It hurts, though.  He’d like for someone to care for him every once in a while. ]
[ After a moment he just pushes himself to his feet and moves over to the other man, tugging him to his feet as well. Arthur you’re being very forward right now, you know? ]
[ He’s just going to hug him now, yup. He looked like he needed a hug. If he gets punched so be it. ]
[ Yao blinks-- what just happened? Â And he looks up at the -- annoyingly -- taller man while he comes back into focus. Â This man who had cut him down so many times was now offering a gesture of affection. Â He is confused. Â But he shouldn't be-- he's done the same thing before. ]
[ He'll just kind of, rest his head against his chest. Â And not think about the things that make him truly want to close off to the world. ]
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Perhaps. Â They might not be the best person to stick by, though. Â They may be little more than damaged goods at this point.
[ Is that a sliver of insecurity Yao, is it. ]
Maybe not damaged. Just in need of some tender loving care. They could be all shiny and new in no time with some careful attention and affection, if treated right.Â
[ Is that Arthur being a complete cutie pie? I think it is, yes. ]
Ah... Â If only we could all be as whimsical as you, Kirkland.
[ His fist rests on his cheek and now his gaze seems far away. Â He thinks of the man who left him, of the woman who abandoned him, and many more lovers he's had in the past. Â No, he shouldn't give in to the other's advances. Â He's got a country to run. ]
[ It hurts, though. Â He'd like for someone to care for him every once in a while. ]
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Hm.  But you should have the company of someone who wants you.  Someone who will still stick around even after they’re done laughing at you.  Or with you, for that matter.
And perhaps one day I’ll have that pleasure. But for now, I’ve got to stick with the ones who just enjoy teasing me, hm?Â
[ He’s talking about you, Yao. ]
Perhaps. Â They might not be the best person to stick by, though. Â They may be little more than damaged goods at this point.
[ Is that a sliver of insecurity Yao, is it. ]
You’re correct.
So what keeps people interested, exactly, if you aren’t forcing them to be?
[ Cocks his head at him— he hasn’t really been drinking his tea he’s kind of too busy messing with this blushing Englishman see he’s even smiling a little more ]
Nothing, usually. Not many stick around for more than a couple of hours, if that. Unless they’re using one of my extra rooms while there’s a summit or something.Â
[ He sighs, running a hand through his hair and turning to smile at Yao. ]
You at least seem to be amused with me, for now.
Hm. Â But you should have the company of someone who wants you. Â Someone who will still stick around even after they're done laughing at you. Â Or with you, for that matter.
♦ LOL ♦
I’m gonna do this thing here for you now.
[ No no, it’s okay. He’s just stunned. Give him a second. Just a second. ]
Then why are you such a bloody tease?!Â
[ Whoa there, Art. That was a 180. C’mon mate, you need to calm down. ]
Hmm.  I will grant you that.  Well played— though I wonder what exactly you’re stripping for.  It’s just a little bit of heat, after all.
[ Yao stop goading him you don’t know what’s going to happen ]
[ He’s just going to start carefully rinsing his hair out ]
I could take you up on that offer of joining you. After all, must be at least a little difficult to get all the soap out of your hair. I could even wash your back.Â
[ His voice is kind of silky now. He’s actually not kidding. ]
[ Hmm, does he ]
[ Does he dare continue to tease the Englishman ]
[ Yao no don't do it-- ]Â
Arthur Kirkland, you don't have the balls.
[ Done-- ]
I’ll admit I’m a bit more perceptive than the average man, yes.
I still don’t understand your interest.  You Westerners just seem to stick to yourselves most of the time.  Then again, you’ve always been the rebel.  I think it’s, what, twenty-two countries that you haven’t staked your claim on.  Most of us are quite upset with you.
[ See the smile he can see you blushing and you are what’s making him smile at this point like he just really enjoys teasing you he really does ]
I’ve tried to tone down my claiming of other lands as of late. Decided I should stop trying to force people to care, because it doesn’t work.Â
[ He likes that smile. It gives him butterflies. ]Â
You're correct.
So what keeps people interested, exactly, if you aren't forcing them to be?
[ Cocks his head at him-- he hasn't really been drinking his tea he's kind of too busy messing with this blushing Englishman see he's even smiling a little more ]
♦ LOL ♦
I’m gonna do this thing here for you now.
[ No no, it’s okay. He’s just stunned. Give him a second. Just a second. ]
Then why are you such a bloody tease?!Â
[ Whoa there, Art. That was a 180. C’mon mate, you need to calm down. ]
Heh.  I know.  Even though for the life of me I can’t understand why.
[ He can hear your clothes coming off Arthur what are you doing. ]
Oh my god, you’re actually stripping.
[ Can you hear the laughter in his voice can you ]
You never said not to, Yao.Â
[ That’s the jingling of his belt on the ground yes it is. ]
[ Op— Boxers coming off or no? That is the question. I wonder how much hotter in can get in this bathroom? ]
Hmm. Â I will grant you that. Â Well played-- though I wonder what exactly you're stripping for. Â It's just a little bit of heat, after all.
[ Yao stop goading him you don't know what's going to happen ]
[ He's just going to start carefully rinsing his hair out ]
Care to tell me why?
Because it’s not good to keep things to yourself you know.  You might explode.
[ Watch as the Yao corners its prey. ]
[ Watch as the prey rolls over in defeat. ]
[ He just sort of chuckles and blushes a bit more again. ]
You. But you already knew that much, hm?
I'll admit I'm a bit more perceptive than the average man, yes.
I still don't understand your interest. Â You Westerners just seem to stick to yourselves most of the time. Â Then again, you've always been the rebel. Â I think it's, what, twenty-two countries that you haven't staked your claim on. Â Most of us are quite upset with you.
[ See the smile he can see you blushing and you are what's making him smile at this point like he just really enjoys teasing you he really does ]
♦ LOL ♦
I’m gonna do this thing here for you now.
[ No no, it’s okay. He’s just stunned. Give him a second. Just a second. ]
Then why are you such a bloody tease?!Â
[ Whoa there, Art. That was a 180. C’mon mate, you need to calm down. ]
Good thing, because I am not an easy man to catch or please.
[ You better take off more clothes Arthur because this man likes his water near to boiling hot. ]
[ Meanwhile he’s just leisurely standing under the spray working shampoo through his hair. ]
Don’t worry, I know that much. But I’m still determined, you know.Â
[ Off come the pants. Now he’s just in boxers. Yum. ]
Heh. Â I know. Â Even though for the life of me I can't understand why.
[ He can hear your clothes coming off Arthur what are you doing. ]
Oh my god, you're actually stripping.
[ Can you hear the laughter in his voice can you ]
[ He knows exactly what’s wrong ]
[ So he leans a little closer, being the butt that he is ]
Your head’s a mess, isn’t it?
A-Actually yes it is. Quite jumbled, honestly…Â
[ Oh wow, Yao you’re really close. ]
Care to tell me why?
Because it's not good to keep things to yourself you know. Â You might explode.
[ Watch as the Yao corners its prey. ]