Ungenius @confusedmasterpiece - Tumblr Blog

I hand drew all my holiday cards this year. Hail Satan

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Inside Hour

Watercolor on Kraft paper card

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The Simpleton Sketch on rough brown paper

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mood

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The Poison Ring

I was not a cool kid. After my "cute" phase, my mother dressed me in a lot of velour and corduroy. Purple, gold and brown. Flare jeans, lots of zippers. I did not look good. Few even noticed me.

Over the summer, I found a poison (or Borgia) ring at a local thrift store. It was silver with a large purple stone. It looked ridiculous, but I was excited. Now to poison somebody.

I stayed up all night boiling apple seeds to extract the arsenic from them, but my plan failed when I realized I had no way to test the poison!

Realizing I could not go through with it, I tired some Tabasco sauce but the ring chamber was too small to hold much. Salt proved to be even worse.

The rest of the month I sat at my English teacher's lunch table. Both of us were sad. She didn't eat because she was anorexic and I didn't because I didn't like to be told what to do. So we sat quietly, not eating all month. It was the best month I had there.

THE END

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