it’s hard for her to bring up what happened, at all. if there’s too much detail involved, or whatever. she’ll go into a panic attack, & she hates that shit. who likes panic attacks? nobody. it’s like her body physically can’t take the memories that come along with everything. & honestly some of it isn’t for anybody else. which is why she was glad she never had to testify about what happened, due to her dad putting an end to any chances of a trail when he fucked up her uncle like that. not like that was ever the issue with vincent, in the first place. frankly she’s thankful she didn’t ever have to see him again. but that regrettably meant that she couldn’t really tell her mom everything. which is also hard, because she also wants to be understood completely. but she already kinda feels as though she is, anyway. so she guesses it doesn’t even matter. they both didn’t really intend to end up together, but it ended up being good for both of them in a way. raegan just doesn’t understand that right now, due to believing she was probably a burden or another mouth to feed. especially when she & her boyfriend are already small business owners. but she can tell that temperance truly does care, & appreciates that she’s not trying to fix something that can’t be. not entirely anyway. “you do always say that.” she responds, with a heavy & exaggerated nod. still smiling shyly. her blush still has not gone away, either. she feels bad slightly, that she can’t just tell temperance that she believes her. but maybe she’s right, right? maybe one day she’ll be able to. she shakes her head at the small display of excitement directed at her decision, though she’s quick to look back up. big blue eyes unsure, but she’s still smiling, anyway. it was weird, learning how to be happier. raegan grabs temp’s hand, as she leans forth for her to kiss her head. squeezing it, for some additional reassurance. “yeah.” she says, nodding in solidarity. “what could go wrong, right?” she asks, her face screwing up in mock nonchalance. a face that says effectively says ‘pssh’ - whatever. a few moments go by, & she’s shifted. introspective, almost. looking down as she plays with her sleeve. “so like, you think he’s mad at me, though?” eyes glimmering, with her search for answers. that guidance, temperance was here for.
𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐟 𝐠𝐨𝐭 told that this child who put all her trust into her to care for her as she should have been her whole life was nothing but a burden or another mouth to feed she would not be happy about that. she would simply deny that until she was blue in the face and it’s because it simply wasn’t true. but thankfully, such words were never uttered. the pride she feels in this moment just swells in her chest. she can tell that raegan is sincerely trying and she doesn’t know. some days doing this whole parenting thing, she worries about it. not because she doesn’t want to do it. but because she wants to be the best she can for raegan of course. so maybe in some facets she’s overcompensating, but that isn’t a thought for right now. here is where she leans back, her own eyes coming wide, looking at her daughter with her question as if she were crazy to ask. but the difference is, temperance has had the privilege of speaking with both of them, obviously knowing raegan better. she hadn’t just yet. and so of course she wouldn’t know. how her father barely made eye contact and how he spoke about her. so she just smiles. ‘ no honey. ‘ tone soft as ever. ‘ how can anyone be angry with a face like this. ‘ playfully pinching a cheek. ‘ believe me. he’s quite the opposite of mad. he’s missed you. you should have seen his face when i told him i would let you see him. or him you. but that i had to talk to you first. ‘ smiling. ‘ as if i would have kept him away. i don’t know darling, i am just excited for you. both of you. ‘ now kind of swaying side to side as she holds her, looking to make her sway too.
