厚脸皮/玻璃心

𝘽𝙐𝙏 𝙒𝙃𝙔 𝘿𝙄𝘿 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝙁𝙀𝙀𝙇 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝙃𝘼𝘿 𝙏𝙊 𝙆𝙄𝙇𝙇 𝙔𝙊𝙐𝙍𝙎𝙀𝙇𝙁, 𝘽𝘼𝘽𝙔?

[conniveo]

karol(ina). 19. she/it. tme. chinese disapora.

personal archive of things i find interesting. marxist, transfeminist, antipsych, pro-bodily autonomy and self-sovereignty. lover of genre fiction, child protagonists, the comic medium, romantic literature, and experimental music. i post candidly about abuse in many forms, including rape and incest, which will be tagged appropriately. ask me about my dracula studies directory.

this blog is recently remade, but tumblr has been a primary form of peer interaction for many years, thus i am particular about upkeeping. i'm also prone to interaction and love to converse.

i have no tolerance for transmisogyny. noting this since there has been an influx of cryptoterfs and tmras recently

everyone is free to comment, ask, or dm—regardless of whether we are mutuals or not. mutuals are more than welcome to ask for my personal blog or discord

if you would like access to the full text of any excerpt i’ve posted, just message me for a copy!!

my blog title 厚脸皮/玻璃心 translates to thick-skinned/glass-hearted. they originate in my experience as perjoratives which were used to discredit my defiance, hurt, or empathy that i now choose to identify with.

if the discussion and portrayals of abuse and violence—sexual or otherwise—on this blog upset you, please block me but do not pathologize, maliciously interrogate, or make assumptions about my personal life because of it. portrayals of violence that do not align with a psychiatrized or sterile gaze are very important to me; i believe that subjective, unrealistic accounts have their own crucial place. good faith conversations are always welcome.

[evardstentacles]

fuck everything. whats the media people ASSUME youre into. what are people surprised that you havent watched/played/whatever

[thifiell]

Visit Original Link

[conniveo]

watching a movie can be a sisyphean task

[o-craven-canto]

Alternate timeline in which all Greek and Latin roots are swapped:

catastrophe -> contraverse cephalopod -> capitoped chlorophyll -> viridofolia democracy -> populimpery homicide -> anthropoctony homosexual -> equigamic kilometer -> millimensure interregnum -> mesarchy magnanimous -> megapsychic manuscript -> chirography motorcycle -> ergatorote microscope -> parvovisor oxygen -> acidofex polyamory -> multierasty television -> remotoscope universe -> monostrophe

[hyphose]

Anthy Himemiya & Nanami Kiryuu - Utena la fillette révolutionnaire

The Witch and the Girl who laid an egg

[regretwhenitwaslost]

[bilal-sala7]

My brothers lost years of education because of the war in Gaza.

Now they finally have a chance to continue.

If you can’t donate, don’t worry.

Just reblog it.

It costs nothing, but it might reach someone who can actually change everything.

Donation link if anyone’s able to support

[conniveo]

befitting that the figures who have created and inspired vampiric characters often had neuroses of dieting and weight loss—from lord byron's infamous binges and restrictions to anne rice's gastric bypass surgery. anorexia genre indeed

[conniveo]

#anne rice's case was interesting because she developed type 1 diabetes relatively late in life#and actually struggled with binge eating rather than restriction after she quit drinking#and the gastric bypass was in part because her husband advised/requested it on his deathbed#but yes i think the ways that cycles of ascetic restriction + binging + purging#relate to both disordered eating and addiction as patterns of behavior AND thought (obsession!)#are very salient to the contemporary vampire genre for sure#sorry for the tag tangent i know too much about anne rice lmao#Anne Rice's vampire dysphoria via @chicago-geniza

[conniveo]

befitting that the figures who have created and inspired vampiric characters often had neuroses of dieting and weight loss—from lord byron's infamous binges and restrictions to anne rice's gastric bypass surgery. anorexia genre indeed

[conniveo]

…As he sate, evidently becoming more feeble, a stork, with a snake in her beak, perched upon a tombstone near us; and, without devouring her prey, appeared to be stedfastly regarding us. I know not what impelled me to drive it away. but the attempt was useless; she made a few circles in the air, and returned exactly to the same spot. Darvell pointed to it, and smiled: he spoke -- I know not whether to himself or to me -- but the words were only, "'Tis well!"

"What is well? what do you mean?"

"No matter: you must bury me here this evening, and exactly where that bird is now perched. You know the rest of my injunctions."

He then proceeded to give me several directions as to the manner in which his death might be best concealed. After these were finished, he exclaimed, "You perceive that bird?"

"Certainly."

"And the serpent writhing in her beak?"

"Doubtless: there is nothing uncommon in it; it is her natural "prey. But it is odd that she does not devour it."

He smiled in a ghastly manner, and said, faintly, "It is not yet "time!" As he spoke, the stork flew away. My eyes followed it for a moment, it could hardly be longer than ten might be counted. I felt Darvell's weight, as it were, increase upon my shoulder, and, turning to look upon his face, perceived that he was dead!

A Fragment, Lord Byron

[courteous]

The Collected Schizophrenias, Esmé Weijun Wang

[courteous]

[courteous]

[conniveo]

[ID:

1. During my second hospitalization, which occurred in the same location as my first, I passed a nurse.

"How are you doing?" she asked.

"Okay," I said, which was true. My mania and subsequent depression seemed to have been exorcised by the overdose I'd taken immediately prior to being hospitalized, and other than being frustrated by my return to the WS2 ward, life no longer felt like an intolerable sentence.

The nurse smiled. "But how are you really doing?"

"I'm really doing okay."

The notes I've acquired from Yale Psychiatric Institute read, among other things, "Patient shows a lack of insight."

2. "[The patients] were being driven to a prison, through no fault of their own, in all probability for life. In comparison, how much easier it would be to walk to the gallows than to this tomb of living humans!" writes investigative journalist Nellie Bly in her 1887 exposé, Ten Days in a Mad-House, which gives reader a revelatory view into a New York City "lunatic asylum." Bly gained access to the hospital by pretending to be insane herself.

After her admittance, Bly recounts asking for her notebook and pencil. The attending nurse, Miss Grady, tells her that she brought only a book, and no pencil. "I was provoked," Bly says, "and insisted that I had, whereupon I was advised to fight against the imaginations of my brain."

In another part of Ten Days, she says, "I always made a point of telling the doctors I was sane and asking to be released but the more I endeavored to assure them of my sanity the more they doubted it."

3. The doctor told me in one of our rare meetings that I'd said, upon emergency room intake, that I believed in a "conspiracy of people" who were determined to hurt me.

"I didn't say that," I said. "I said that I was feeling unsafe." But "feeling unsafe"—as in, feeling terror about everything and nothing in particular—was an unfortunate phrase for me to use during the intake. "Unsafe" is a psychiatric code word for "suicidal," which I was not, although I was many other things. "Unsafe" might have triggered the hospital's belief—its own delusion—that I felt unsafe due to a paranoid belief: a conspiracy of people out to do me harm.

The hospital maintained for the remainder of my stay that I had come in feeling "unsafe," with delusions of persecution. Because "unsafe" doubled as "suicidal," I was considered a danger to myself. Even though I had voluntarily walked into the ER for help, "unsafe" meant that I was considered to be "involuntarily hospitalized," which also meant that I was locked down in the rural Louisiana hospital, on the north shore of Lake Pontchartrain, until the doctors gave me permission to leave. I did not know how long that would be.

]

[patronsaintofweepingmothers]

"561" (2009), KURISUTA

[inlovewiththemooon]

Rancid Sin

[milfstalin]

it is not "the cycle of abuse" it is the structural oppression of children by their parents ☝️

[conniveo]

upon learning that polidori was byron’s personal physician and the vampyre was written around the time of his dismissal from that post… i need to reread it to better contextualize the illness and caretaking motifs, and how it being nursed to health indebts aubrey to ruthven (the byronic villain!!) and compells him to reciprocate

[estrellasuerte]

hey folks, it's me! again! last week i was only able to get $20 for groceries and it is very hard to make that stretch between three people for a week. so i am here again. hello!

i am a disabled indigenous lesbian who is asking for donations for sanitary products as well as groceries. i was denied for food stamps after moving here in january following DV and all the freelance work i had been getting from my crowd computing has run dry. i know money is tight for everyone, so please don't feel obligated to donate if you cannot spare it!!

if you have anything to spare it helps tremendously. even reblogs!!!!!!!! thank you!!!!!!

p: [email protected] v: thnksfrthvnm $spoiledmilkandhoney