Connor Murphy is a superhero

confirmed

[connormurphyprinterboy]

This blog was created bc my sister and I thought this story was funny and would make other people laugh. I am not a writer. I am not good at telling stories, but I appreciate every single like, comment or interaction anyone has with this blog. This story gave me purpose in a time I had none, and despite any/all problems I currently have with the show, Dear Evan Hansen saved me in a way I never would have imagined and for that, I thank it for that. Wholeheartedly.

[connormurphyprinterboy]

I just finished part 5 of printer boy and I just wanted to say that it was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! I can not wait for more! The suspense is trying to murder me and I can not wait for part 2. Well, that’s it from me. Please continue this masterpiece!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Oh my goodness gracious thank you! As of right now the only thing I have planned for Printer Boy is the Fitzgerald Trilogy, a three part story about the lil Octopus, since he never got his full backstory and he is left unfound.

[evians]

s t o p

don’t tease connor for throwing a printer at Miss G. she was probably a bitch smh

[connormurphyprinterboy]

The Fourth Instalment: A Printer Boy Story

AN: This one gets a little darker. Several trigger warnings, so I’ll post them here as well as the tags: self harm mention/allusion suicide/attempted suicide mention, drugs. Nothing is graphic or really happens but just to be safe.

The year is 2015.

It’s October.

Connor is now a Junior in highschool. 

Connor was getting worst. The high was no longer enough to subdue the thoughts that so often plagued him. He didn’t know, but using his powers was beginning to take a toll on him as well. 

He stopped feeling. He stopped wanting to go forward. Connor Murphy, our beloved Printer Boy, was in desperate need of help. 

There were days he thought he couldn’t go on, days that were so dark it was impossible to find the light. Jobs were few and far between. His mom had taken pity on him and given his allowance back, but not until after she lectures him for a solid half hour about the proper use of the families money. Connor didn’t care. He had begun to secluded himself. His already strained relationship with Zoe was worse than it had ever been. He’d been so awful to her, too many times, and he knew she’d never forgive him. He started ignoring her, hoping to cause her no more pain. He began dressing in all black, it would be harder for people to notice him, right? He spent too much time meticulously painting his nails because he found it calming, but it also kept him from chewing on them when he got anxious. His hair was starting to grow out, and he refused to go to the barber to get it cut, too much social interaction. Long sleeves became a must.

Connor Murphy suffered from many demons, many demons that would lead to the ultimate demise of our young hero. 

Let’s fast forward a few months:

The year is 2016.

It’s a Saturday in January. 

Connor had gotten worst. 

“I’m not going to school mom”

“Connor, you have to go to school! You know I can’t let you just stay home all the time!” Cynthia said, rushing around the breakfast table

“I said I’m not going”

“Larry, talk some sense into your son. He has to go to school”

“Oh, umm listen to your mother Connor, she’s right.” Larry replied, never looking up from his phone.

“If Connor’s not going, than neither am I” replied Zoe

“Shut up Zoe.” Connor snapped

“Stop fighting. Both of you. You are both going to school. You aren’t 7 anymore. You’re nearly adults, so eat your breakfast. You are going to school” Cynthia said firmly. (She’s trying her best y'all)

Connor pushed away from the table and fled to his room. Where he stayed, curled up on the floor, hands in his hair, sobbing, until he heard his mother yell:

“CONNOR IT’S TIME FOR SCHOOL!! YOU NEED TO DRIVE YOUR SISTER! LET’S GO!!”

They didn’t understand. No one did. He was so alone. Clawing at something to hold him to this world. He found none. 

He reached for his drawer where he kept his stash, and his blades. He grabbed both and picked himself up off the floor, and slowly headed towards the door, making his way to his bathroom. 

He could lock himself in. No one would know, and everyone would be better off without him. 

Still sobbing, Connor made his way into the hall, when he ran smack into his mother. He fell to the ground. His blades lay out in front of him. His mother gasped.

“Sorry honey-Connor why are you cryin-OH MY GOD!! LARRY GET UP HERE RIGHT NOW!!” Cynthia screamed. Larry took his sweet ass time.  

Connor had picked himself up off the floor and bolted for his room. Cynthia ran after him, managing to catch to door before he could close it. 

“Connor. What in the world? Are you? Why would you need those? What were you about to do? Please tell me it’s not what I think!” Cynthia was panicked and had tears pricking her eyes.

“I can’t take it anymore mom. I just want it to be over. I want to be gone.” Connor was standing in the middle of his room, and flinched away from his approaching mother. 

Larry had finally arrived. 

“What’s going on? Are you still fighting your mother about going to school? Get yourself downstairs and go to class Connor. This is not a negotiation.” Larry scolded. Glaring pointedly at his son. 

“No Larry. Connor isn’t going to school today. And you aren’t going to work either. We need to have a serious talk, all three of us. Can you please drive Zoe to school and we can talk when you get back. 

Cynthia sat with Connor in the living room until Larry got back. Their talk did not go well. 

Highlights of the awful parenting Larry did regarding the situation:

“He’s faking it! It’s all an act. He just didn’t want to go to school!”

“You know he’s always been a moody kid. This is just a part of it.”

“It’s a cool thing now to act like this, he’s trying to fit in”

“At least it’s not weed again”

“He’s just trying to get attention. He’ll be over it by tomorrow”

“He wouldn’t have gotten them if you hadn’t given his allowance back”

Connor was more angry now than anything. The only upside to this whole thing is that his mom had no idea that he had his weed hidden in his jacket sleeve the whole time. 

The next day, Connor went to school. Zoe drove. She was silent, but sober. There was almost a glint of pity in her eyes.

A few weeks later Connor blew up at her again. The pity was gone, and Zoe would never trust her brother, or feel sorry for him ever again. 

He started weekend therapy again. He never went to the same one more than twice. It was very very not helpful. 

His mom watched him like a hawk. His dad treated him even more like an outsider. 

Connor started taking more jobs. He reprinted his flyers (this time with the typo fixed) and handed them out to businesses in the area. He would go out after school and make his rounds and every night he’d come home exhausted and get grilled by his parents. He stopped caring. He came in and went straight to his room, not bothering to even grab dinner. 

The year is still 2016. 

The month is May. 

One week left in school. 

Connor went to school that week. He did well on his finals. His parents were always suprised at his grades. Connor was not a dumb kid, he just hated how everyone treated him, therefore he hated school. 

On the last day of class they had a free period where everyone gathered in the gym to sign yearbooks and say goodbye. Connor almost didn’t go, but he decided that he didn’t want to have to walk home, so he stayed to wait for Zoe. 

It was during the free period in the gym when he realized something. He was not the only one like him. He looked around at the outskirts of the gym and there were roughly a dozen kids awkwardly standing there with no friends. Most of them looked like him. A stoner, in all black, looking pissed off at the world, but one kid stood out. That Hansen kid, the one who tried to do the speech about Daisy Buchanan but couldn’t quite get the words out. Connor hadn’t realized until now, but he and Evan…They were the same. 

The only person that signed Connor’s yearbook, that his parents bought him, was Lily. She felt bad for Connor. They hadn’t spoken since that night, but she felt it was for the better. 

When summer hit, he got sent away for a week to a “yoga retreat” as his mom called it. He knew it was just another rehab facility. He liked the yoga and the sharing circles every night, but some of the stories scared him half to death. The only thing he actually learned was to never do meth. 

On his way home from the “retreat” the bus he was on passed by an old, closed down orchard where the Murphys would go when he was a kid. It made him happy to think of the good times they had, but it turned very bitter when he remembered how they were now. He wanted to fix this. 

When he got home he noticed his mother’s car was gone. Good. Both the parents are out. He wouldn’t have to deal with either of them. 

He made his way up the stairs and to Zoe’s room. He knocked on the door.

“Umm Zoe?” He asked

“Leave us alone!” She called out. Us? Connor wondered as he opened the door. 

“Hey Zoe, could I just-" 

"She said to leave us alone.” Zoe had a friend from band class over. “Oh my God, you’re brother’s a freak" 

Zoe just awkwardly chuckled.

"Oh. Okay. I’ll come back later then” Connor retreated to his room. He did not go back later. 

All summer he tried to think of ways to reconcile with his sister. And every single time he chickened out, and every time it made him fall further and further back into his dark place. None of this is the fault of Zoe’s, it all stems from Connor’s inability to let himself be seen, and his parents constant lack of help throughout the years.

All summer he kept thinking of Evan Hansen. He was jealous of him. He had managed to be better than Connor. He didn’t resort to being a moody teenager. He was kind. He seemed to have faith in something. 

Connor was still alone. Connor still did drugs. Connor still had no faith that anyone would find him. 

[connormurphyprinterboy]

Some Insight Into the life of Connor Murphy: A Printer Boy Story(Part Three)

This is a preface of sorts:

The year is 2011

The time is 3:03 PM

It’s a Monday, Mid-August.

School had only been in session for a week and Connor was already done with it. There was no way Connor Murphy, Printer​ Boy, would be getting on that bus today. He didn’t have his sister to tell on him anymore, so he could do as he pleased, as long as he had a good excuse. His phone was dead, he had listened to music all through 3rd and 6th period, plus he forgot to charge it last night. So he couldn’t call, right? He’d just tell his mom that his class got held late and that he missed the bus. That would give him time to walk home at what ever pace he wanted. Connor began walking, and had gotten a few blocks from the school when he noticed a few kids he had seen around school hanging out behind the skating rink. He knew a couple, they were in his grade, but most were older. He must have been staring because he then heard.

“Murphy! What are you doing?”

“I-ummm, I was just walking home” Connor was startled.

One of them approached him. It was Lily. Connor didn’t know what to think about this girl. She was never rude to him, she was just there. She was an acquaintance really. “You wanna hang with us?”  She asked

“I, are you sure? I mean, I guess that would be cool” he stumbled through

She just kind of chuckled.

“Come on, Printer Boy” she would never let that go…And that made Connor uncomfortable, it was almost like she knew.

She led him back to the group of kids. Very few introductions were made. Connor was uncomfortable. He had never been invited to hang out with anyone from school. It was weird. He wanted to leave, but he also didn’t want to seem like a freak. He barely noticed when one of the other kids addressed him.

“Do you smoke, kid?” This weird, mildly intimidating boy asked.

“Umm no. I mean, I never have. We’re to Young to smoke, right?”

The group kind of laughed. Connor blushed. He started weighing his options. He could leave, and go home and deal with his mom, or stay here and do, well whatever they were doing. He decided to stay. At least they weren’t interrogating him as to how his day at school was, MOM. (It was shit in case you were wondering. He doesn’t understand Chemistry, and was nearly last pick in gym(thanks Evan Hansen)) It wasn’t long before he had started talking to the kid beside him. They were cool, and Connor felt mildly included for a minute. He felt someone tap his shoulder, and he looked up. The older kid was handing him something.

“Take a puff kid” That’s how it started. Connor didn’t seek out this coping method. This life found him. And for once Connor was calm. He didn’t feel that darkness overtaking him. He was free. He was…He was okay. If there was one thing Connor hated about drugs, it was the other people. He preferred to be by himself. He had no interest in being one of them. He occasionally would speak to Lily, or the old kid, which Connor learned was named Stephen, but liked to be called Claws, to get a hook up, but otherwise he kept to himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The story starts here:

Now, since we last saw Printer Boy, he had accepted his powers, and had become the neighborhood printer fixer upper. His dad’s friends all found out that he “could fix any printer issue you’ve got” and Larry would pimp it up to the guys. It was the only way Connor got any real attention from his Father, so he would take it with a grain of salt. The Harris’ were about as tech savvy as Connor is a turtle, so he was often over at their house “fixing” their printer. He normally just poked it a few times and it worked. This is when they’d invite his family on skiing trips. He never wanted to go, but his dad always said yes. Ugggggggg. They had a daughter that was a year older than Connor, and a son Zoe’s age. Connor disliked both of them. They were so fake happy all the time. Jessica and Shane. Ugggggggg. Their youngest daughter, Brittney, who was just a toddler, really liked Connor and so he spent most his time “babysitting” her while their moms were off drinking together. This is how he avoided the “wicked slopes”.

On one of these ski trips, the resorts computer messed up as they were checking-in and Larry tried to get Connor to try and fix it, but Connor didn’t know how, and it ended with Connor in a puddle of tears, Zoe and Jessica laughing at him, and Connor’s parents fighting. It had become apparent to Cynthia that Larry was taking advantage of Connor’s gift and she was not about that life.

Connor was no longer sent to the neighbors houses to fix the printers.

The year is 2012

The time is 1:37 PM

It’s early November

Cynthia was on a cleaning kick. It was part of her latest obsession. The flow of the house wasn’t right. She needed to clean and rearranging everything. The “KEEP OUT! that means you, MOM” sign on Connor’s door did not deter Cynthia, and she barged in and began cleaning. For a teenage boy, Connor’s room was fairly clean, much to Cynthia’s delight. However, she did feel the need to move things around. She was moving the dresser when she found a lose board on the floor. “Damn. I’ll have to have Larry take a look at this later” she muttered as she bent over to examine it further. Much to her chagrin, the board came completely off the floor.

Cynthia was shocked. Appalled. Disgusted. How could Connor do this? What reason would he have to be doing this? Had she not been a good mother. Had she failed (spoiler: yes she had), suddenly everything made sense. Connor hadn’t been tired, or “just a growing boy”, or suddenly developed allergies. He was high. This whole time. For over a year and she never realized, or no, she had been in denial. When she attempted to approach Connor about it he nearly shrugged.

“It not a big deal mom.” He said nonchalantly as he went up to his room.

Inside he was panicking. He had become dependent on the drug to sleep. To focus in school. To function. Days when he ran out without realizing were agonizing. He became extremely aggressive, especially towards his sister Zoe, and it would take days to get back on track after that. He always felt so guilty afterwards. This wasn’t how he wanted to be, but it was how it was. He knew things would have to change and soon, because now his mom knew, which means his dad would know. They’d be policing his every move. This may be the one thing they agree on all year. He went to his mom.

“I need help mom. I don’t know what to do, and I need help” he practically begged.

“I know honey, and I’m going to help you” she had responded.

Connor didn’t know that this meant months of rehab-hopping and weekend yoga retreats. None of it helped. Connor knew it wouldn’t. When you let mentally healthy people decide what’s best for the mentally ill, you’ll almost never get results. Connor knew he needed medication. He knew he needed a proper doctor, a good therapist, and he knew his parents could afford it. They just didn’t want it to be true. They thought they could be hush hush about the whole thing and they could still pretend they had a perfect family.

The year is 2013

The time is 10:47PM

It was a February day

Connor was done. Nearly four months. FOUR MONTHS into his mother’s “help” and he couldn’t take it. She was trying to fix the drug problem, not his problem. He wasn’t sleeping. He was tearing himself apart from the inside out. His grades were slipping (not that they were ever great, but in the last year he had done better in school than he ever had). He didn’t want to do anything. He felt even more disconnected from the world than ever before. His dad was yelling at him about his grades regularly. He stopped eating properly, and he was thin already. His parents had stopped his allowance, and carpeted his bedroom (they carpeted the whole upstairs, but Connor knew.)

It was this February day that Connor decided he had to do something for himself.

He created an ad:

Connor became Printer Boy.

He had a goofy, albeit rather snazzy, getup to hide his identity, he didn’t want his parents finding out. He didn’t get a lot of business. Just a few calls a week. Normally pretty easy jobs, but it was enough. He was buying shitty drugs, but they helped. He had to hide it from his parents, but he was sure his mom knew. There was no way she could be that blind anymore. He would sneak out to take a call, and sneak back in with ease. He could climb a tree like it ain’t no thang. Several times he was denied access to the home due to his masked face. He was always cautious about who to reveal his face to. Rarely adults, but most kids he seemed trustworthy, as long as he had never seen them before. He knew he could get more business if he was available during the early evening but he didn’t want to deal with his parents questioning him.

A few notable calls he endured:

•The one time Jared Kleinman called because he had tried to use homemade ink that he crafted from Bathbombs. He was afraid Jared would recognize him, but he was too busy being angsty about “loving the cronch” and “I just wanted a pretty picture of me cronching, made from the cronch”. The printer was fizzing. This was definitely a $15 job, but Jared only had $7, so Connor took what he could get. Connor made a mental note to never step foot in that house again.

•The call to the Beck’s. Connor vaguely knew their middle daughter Alana(they had English together at some point? She was very loud and sometimes pushy but never mean if he remembered correctly). The youngest had jammed the printer really bad. Connor almost cried at the horrid sight. He had come to care for printers. He felt responsible for their health. There were roughly 25 sheets of paper jammed in there. He just sighed and got to work. He had a harder time working with the printers when he was high, but he still hasn’t botched a job yet.

•The time some old ladies’ printer had actually exploded. Like blown a hole in one of their walls. He spent a bit trying to find the printer. It took a little longer that 15 minutes, but the nice ladies gave him cake and tea for his trouble. And a crisp $20 bill. It was Connor’s favorite job ever and he secretly hoped they would have troubles again.

•They time Lily called him. He worried the whole way over that she knew it was him. She never let on. Her printer was easy to fix. Just a small leak with the ink cartridge. Took just a tap of his hand and it was all cleaned up, he just replaced the cartridge and returned to the living room where she was waiting.

“It was an easy fix. $5 please.” He held out his hand

“Yeah, sure thing, Printer Boy” she said with a smirk. She knew. Oh no. This was embarrassing. He was so embarrassed.

“How did you know?!” He asked

“Really? Who else would call themselves Printer Boy?”

“Good point…”

“You look like shit, by the way”

Connor walked towards the door. He didn’t say anything. He needed to get out of there. Lily went to show him out, slipped the money into his hands, and as he walked down the walk towards the street she called out after him.

“Mines dishwashers​!” To be continued… (AN: I intend on this being the 2nd to last part, but there was a lot to explain about how Connor gets from Part Two to DEH, so I kinda made this filler-ish chapter. There will most likely be two more parts. Sorry if it’s no good, I was really kind of lost on the drug part/how to put depression into words)

[connormurphyprinterboy]

Realizing His Powers: A Printer Boy Story

The year is 2005. 

It’s a Thursday in Mid-October. The day after Connor first realized his powers.

The time is 7:13.

“How was school yesterday Connor?” Ask Larry

“Fine.” Replied our protagonist

“I heard that he threw the teacher’s printer at Mrs. G!” Zoe yelled

“Shut up Zoe!!” Connor cried

The parents exchanged worried glances. Had Connor gotten ~the powers~. No. Impossible. No one had been affected by them in generations. They were simply a myth. 

“Now Zoe, how would your brother do that? The printer is much too big” Cynthia trying to convince herself more than anyone else

“And Connor, don’t tell your sister to shut up.” Larry scolded. Zoe always was his favorite. 

“Connor, go change out of your pajamas, you’re going to be late for school!” Cynthia suddenly realized the time.

Connor got up and headed to his room, as he reached his door he heard the distressed cry of his sister

“CONNOR FINISHED THE MILK!”

Hehe

*Overhear at the Murphy’s.*

“Are you sure it isn’t happening?” Larry asked

“No, I’m not sure. This hasn’t happened for so long, no one knows what it looks like. The last time it was in the twenties, and with toasters.”

“I just wish you had told me this *before* we got married.”

“It’s not like I thought this would happen!”

“I can’t believe our son has powers…And they all revolve around a god damn printer….Of all the things.”

“We aren’t for sure, honey. We don’t even know if it’s true”

The year is 2009. Four years since the birth of Printer Boy.

It’s a Friday, late July.

The time is 2:34 AM

“Come on brain, think of things” Connor chanted as he worked on his summer essay over The Outsiders, to be turned in the first day of 7th grade.

He couldn’t sleep, so he might as well work on this. 

He looked back at the time. 3:13 AM. 

He sighed, but he was done.

He hit “print”, and got up to retrieve the paper from his father’s office.

Nothing was on the Printer. Connor sighed. Technology was not Connor’s friend. He approached the Printer to check if it still had paper in it. The moment his hand touched the Printer, it turned on, and out came his paper…

This wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. 

~~~this is a flashback sequence~~~

It was January of Connor’s second grade year, and Mrs. G still had not gotten over the printer incident. The children were doing a project in the computer lab, and it came time for them to print the project. Several students were having difficulty printing their assignment, and per usual, the jokes started:

“I bet Connor got upset and broke this printer too!”

“What has Connor done now?”

This happened everytime the Printer, or any other piece of technology stopped working. Connor was used to it, but it still bothered him. 

“Hey?” Connor’s classmate, Lily asked “Do you think you can help me with this, Printer Boy?”

She, unlike the other students, didn’t use this as an insult, but more like a term of endearment. Connor stood and took control of her mouse, and within seconds the printer started up and out came Lily’s project. 

Connor and Lily were the only two that got their projects printed that day. 

~scene change occurs here~

Once again, Zoe had waited until last minute to print her science fair abstract, and once again she was in tears over the fact that the Printer was jammed. 

Connor, now in 5th grade, stepped out of his room to find his sister Zoe in the hallway screaming about how she was going to fail the 4th grade because the stupid printer wouldn’t work. He just kind of looked at her. She saw him standing there and asked.

“Could you help me? You printed yours last night?“ 

Connor shrugged and headed towards the office where the printer was located. He took one look at the mess of a printer, jammed beyond belief. What had Zoe done to the poor thing? The paper was sticking out sideways and was all torn up. 

Connor grabbed hold of the paper, and it gave way, slipping right out. Zoe’s paper soon followed. Zoe snatched her paper and beamed.

"Thanks Printer Boy!!”

~This is where the next scene change occurs~

It was only earlier that summer, when Connor had seen the insanely annoying Jared Kleinman at the public library, dragging around that weird boy from school who had no friends, but who was Connor to judge. He didn’t have friends either. 

Connor was sat at a computer typing furiously, writing a story about his sister Zoe, and how she was really a troll. It was awesome. When Jared Kleinman approached him and asked

“Do you have a dime?" 

"W-w-what?” Connor stumbles over his words, surprised by the sudden interruption.

“Do you have a dime? Like 10¢? For the printer?" 

"Umm, no, but why do you need it?”

“Evan wants to print this picture of a truck with trees painted on it so he can show him mom when she gets home. I don’t know man, but do you have a dime?” This didn’t help Connor. He had printed tons of stuff, but never had to pay. 

“Let me see” he replied and walked over to the printer where the other boy, Evan, was standing. The display read:

“Insert $0.10 to print" 

"That’s weird” Connor thought, it never said that when he tried to print, it always just printed. 

He pressed the large “PRINT” button and out came the picture. 

“How did you do that?” Jared asked “I’ve been trying to hack the thing for ten minutes!”

“I don’t know, I just hit print” Connor replied

“Okay, well thanks anyway, Printer Boy” Jared said with a light hearted laugh as he handed the picture to Evan, who hugged it to his chest. “Let’s go Evan, I’ve spent my hour with you" 

Connor smiled to himself… Printer Boy

~~~~THE FLASHBACKS ARE NOW OVER~~~~

Now, as you,our reader, may have guessed, Connor now realized that he has some form of power over printers, and heads straight for the internet. 

Searching such things as

I have magic abilities, please help

And

Printers bend to my will, what is wrong with me?

To no avail. 

Along with this realization, Connor felt a darkness wash over him. Imagine a ton of bricks falling on top of you all at once. The feeling felt almost like it was tugging at him, and suddenly he had no motivation to do anything. This feeling resided inside of him at all times, but moments like this were especially hard.

He had felt this before and knew it would be a rough week ahead. He wouldn’t want to leave his bed, much less his room, and he’ll have to listen to his dad tell his mom that it’s was "just a lazy teen thing” but Connor felt like that wasn’t it.

With no help from the internet, Connor closed his laptop, laid down, and tried to sleep. The time was 4:02 AM.

The year is 2010.

It’s a December evening.

The time is 5:00

Connor heard the clock strike 5 and looked up at his mother. He finally had the courage to talk to her about this whole thing. He told himself he’d do it at 5 o'clock, and he was going to do it. 

“Mom. Can I talk to you?”

“Of course Connor, what is it?” Cynthia replied, mildly shocked. He son hadn’t come to her for years, and rarely addressed her as"mom” anymore. 

“I-I-I’m not really sure, I just. I’ve been wanting to talk to you about some things.”

“Yes of course. You can talk to me about any thing honey.”

“I just. I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. Like I’m more, well I’m not more sad but it’s kind of like sad, but it’s all the time. I’m just sad all the time mom and I don’t know why, I’m drowning mom… I’m drowning.” Connor blurted out. Trying not to cry in front of his mother.

“Oh honey, that’s perfectly normal for kids your age. Your hormones are all crazy because you’re growing up”

“No. It’s different than that! I see the other kids my age and none of them feel like this! I’m the only one that is sad all the time! They make fun of me for it mom. I have no friends and it’s all because I was weird and now I’m sad and no one likes the weird, sad boy! And I know you bought me that dumb suit, but I’m never going to get invited to anyone’s dumb party because I HAVE NO FRIENDS!” Connor was screaming by the end, and ran from the kitchen, to his room, and slammed the door.

“Drama queen” Zoe said from the living room, only to be heard by no one. 

Overhear from the bedroom of Cynthia and Larry Murphy later that evening:

Time: 9:57

“I’m still worried about Connor, Larry” Cynthia confided in her husband

“It’s like you said, he’s just a teenager. He’ll be okay. He always was a weird one. And never failed to be dramatic” Larry tried to reassure her.

“I know, but it’s just…I remember the stories I heard as a kid. From the stories great auntie Kaitlyn seemed to have trouble like that too…” Cynthia began to get more worried about her son with every passing second.

“Nonsense. Plus, I thought we were done talking about all this magic power hogwash” Larry half-scolded

“You’re right now I’m being ridiculous. He’ll be fine. He’s going to be fine.” Cynthia said, rather half heartedly. She was still very worried.

To be continued…

[connormurphyprinterboy]

Connor’s nails are black because they are stained with printer ink. It’s canon. I don’t make the rules.

[flyawayrachel]

Fitzgerald Lives!!!!

@fitzgerald-the-octopus @pontmarius

[connormurphyprinterboy]

The Humble Beginnings of Printer Boy.

The year is 2005.

It’s a Wednesday, mid-October.

Connor Murphy, Jared Kleinman, and Evan Hansen are all sitting in Mrs. G’s second grade class, among roughly 25 other small human beings.

Mrs. G was one of those teachers that you either loved, or you hated. Mrs. G would never call on a raised hand, but instead the child she felt was paying the least amount of attention.

Jared Kleinman loved Mrs. G. Jared never paid attention, and Jared was not one to pass up the opportunity to make a fart joke every. Single. Time. She. Called. On. Him. She never learned.

Connor hated Mrs. G. She always made him participate when he didn’t want to, but never let him when he wanted to.

Evan Hansen tried not to hate Mrs. G, but she really made his life hard. He didn’t want to be put on the spot. He wanted to blend in, and just learn. He was always paying attention, but he just avoided eye contact when she asked questions, and never could get the answer out properly when she called on him.

The time is 11:07. Almost time for lunch.

“Time to line up for lunch!” Rang out Mrs. G’s voice.

Connor shot up out of his seat and ran to the front of the line. He was finally first. He had never been first before. This was his moment of glory.

“Connor, you know it’s Lily’s day as line leader” Mrs. G scolded the small child that was Connor Murphy.

“But Mrs. G, I was here first, so I should be line leader. The first person should be first.” Connor explained.

“Those aren’t the rules Connor, now you need to go to the back of the line”

Connor is now distressed. He was first. He should be first. Why should he be last? Even if Lily gets to be line leader, he should be second in command. He was here first.

Tears start to fall from Connor’s eyes. This can’t be happening. The one time Connor is first, he suddenly becomes last again. This can’t be fair.

Connor sulked to the back of the line. Tears still streaming down his face.

The class bully Dakota turned to him and laughed. “What a baby. It’s just a stupid line” Connor wiped his face and tried to ignore the bully.

“Let’s go class! Hands on your hips and fingers on your lips!” Mrs. G began leading the line down the hall. The class paused for a moment, to allow another class to pass down the opposite hall.

Connor felt suddenly drawn to the teachers lounge as the walked past. He wondered in, and there before him sat the most glorious thing he had ever beheld.

The teacher’s printer.

Connor, still filled with despair​, now felt suddenly rage. He stomped over to the printer and attempted to lift it off the ground. He was surprised when it lifted with ease.

He then marched the printer out of the teacher’s lounge and yelled

“Mrs. G, next time, let me be the line leader!” And threw the printer down the hall, barely missing Mrs. G’s face.

The whole class started screaming, and the very scared Evan Hansen ran for cover. Jared Kleinman could be heard screaming

“THAT WAS AWESOME!!”

Connor was proud of what he had accomplished, until he saw Mrs. G’s face and knew he was in deep trouble.

The year is 2005.

It’s a Wednesday, mid-October.

The time is 11:36.

Connor is missing lunch. Connor Murphy is sitting in the principal’s office. Accompanied only by a disbelieving Principal and a distraught Mrs. G.

“He threw a PRINTER AT ME!!” Mrs. G yelled.

“I’m just not seeing how this very small lad here could have possibly lifted such a printer, Mrs. G. It is just not possible.” Said the principal, whom I am too lazy to name.

“Then explain the broken printer in the middle of the hallway”

“I can’t. There simply is no explanation for what has happened here today.“

“You’ve got to do something about this!” Mrs. G shrieked

“No, I don’t, but you do need to calm yourself. Connor, you need to go get yourself some lunch. Here’s a pass” the principal stated as he wrote a note to the lunch attendant stating that Connor can get his lunch, and take his time eating it.

The year is 2005.

It’s a Wednesday, mid-October.

The time is 12:17.

Connor walks back into class, where everyone has already started their reading for the afternoon. Mrs. G is glaring at him.

Some kids look afraid, some look impressed.

Connor says nothing. He just takes out The Little Prince and begins reading.

To be continued…

[connormurphyprinterboy]

I've been trying to write the Fitzgerald Trilogy all week but it just isn't getting done. Sigh.

[moved-2-afuneralusay]

So were talking about how Connor could lift a fucking printer and chuck it at a teacher  im not sure if its because im week and tiny but what the hell it would take about 5 of me just to pick up a brick a printer would take me about 10 or more im weak and im screaming 

[connormurphyprinterboy]

Yeah...

[waving-through-a-sindow]

Okay but can we talk about the fact that second grade Connor threw a printer at someone? Like, I have a printer and it’d take at least three of me to even lift it

[connormurphyprinterboy]

Yep.

[fujandrist]

*blows a kiss to my printer* for connor murphy

[dr-evn-hnsn]

Hello, my name is Connor Murphy and I would like throw this fucking printer

[teriibyte]

@angry-space-ace @spibbles

i hate myself so much for this

[connormurphyprinterboy]

Is this...Connor Murphy: Printer Boy?

[gfsne-deactivated20180502]

deh au where connor is Alive And Maybe Not Happy but at least getting the help he’s needed since the fucking second grade when he threw a printer at his teacher

[daveylovesjack]

How in the second grade do you throw a printer with a enough force and precision that it hits someone in the head? I’m grown and can’t even throw a printer Connor wyd

[connormurphyprinterboy]

Heyyyyyyy