Hollywood Blackout: 10 Roles that Black actors COULD play, but probably won’t
Amidst all they fuckery going on with White nationalist rallies and monumental clapbacks, I think its time to followup our Hollywood Whitewash feature with Pt.2 Hollywood Blackout.
1. Ving Rhames as Tony Soprano
Yea, we are starting with an easy one, but I think Rhames would have an interesting take on the character. Plus we need to destigmatize therapy in our community, almost as much as Tony’s crew needed to.
2.Janelle Monae as Audrey Hepburn
Janelle Monae is just as iconic in colour as she is in Black and White. Paired with Style icon of days past, Audrey Hepburn, the Electric Lady adds an updated flash of elegance.
3. Andre Benjamin as David Bowie
Andre Benjamin as David Bowie. Look at these two futurists chillin in tuxes on the red carpet . . .
AND HERE THEY ARE IN THEIR NATURAL ELEMENT
And here is 3 Stacks as a Hotep and Bowie as a Tin Man.
4. Taraji P. Henson as Liz Taylor
Taraji P. Henson as Liz Taylor. Each Star getting better with time. T would Roc Cleopatra a lot better tho . . . #Dontdebateme
5. Brian white as Derek from “American History X”
If there were ever a Black remake of American History X, Brian White could star in place of Norton. We are talking some serious intensity and character development but that is well within White’s range. Plus I’d love to see him curbstomp a Neo Nazi.
I wasn’t trying to fully cast this joint, but yo,
Hakim from Empire would definitely be the little brother
And Keith David Evil ass would play Stacey Keach evil ass.
6. YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING DOWN
7. Mean Girls- All-Black Cast
Lupita Nyong’o as Cady
Rihanna as Regina
Keke Palmer as Karen
and Zoe Kravitz as Gretchen Weiner
"You can't Fuck with us"
8. Djimon Hounsou as Logan
Djimon Hounsou as starring in logan.
This might be a reach, I wouldn’t know because I haven’t seen an X-Men film since Kelsey Grammar played Beast.
Speaking of which . . .#BLACKFRASIER coming soon . . .
9. The Royal Tenenbaums All- Black Cast
FOR MY TENENBAUM FANS! Had to give one of my favorite “black” comedies some much needed melanin. We think this cast is well equipped for Wes Anderson’s masterful melancholia.
Royal: Denzel Washington- “Died courageously saving his family during a shipwreck”
Etheline: Phylicia Rashad- Mother of Genius children, holding it all together
Ritchie: Cuba Gooding Jr.- the introverted fallen hero. Tormented by love and loss.
Chas: Kevin Hart- Neurotic, successful, spiteful.
Margot: Tandie Newton- The dry, secretive, smart-mouthed sister.
Eli Cash: Marlon Wayans (Terrance Howard understudy)- Loveable Cornball
Raliegh: Jeffrey Wright- self involved fool.
Buckley: Chico
Alec Baldwin Narration: LeVar Burton
10. Dick Gregory as General Robert E. Lee
IDK about yall, but I’d watch a "what-if” Historical Fiction movie if Dick Gregory lead a secession. We’d be bussin skulls with vegan diets and alkaline water and allathat.
Hope you all enjoyed! Be sure to check the first piece of the series: “Hollywood Whitewash: Black roles that White actors could play, but probably shouldn’t”