fanfic sideblog (mostly)

21 this was originally for fic stuff but now I just use it for whatever main is @no-idea-what-imdoing so any likes and follows come from there :) My Ao3

[constant-stateofdenial]

i posted a new fic. it’s the one i’ve been working on the past few weeks instead of anything that’s been ongoing. there’s a longass ramble in the end notes. read it if you want, or don’t, it’s different fandom-wise than what I’d been writing but these movies/books kinda have a chokehold on me rn (the martian especially, lowkey, even if this is more phm, I really liked the martian you should read it it’s a great book, I haven’t watched the movie though) It’s nearly 15,000 words, and a one-shot I might add onto as a concept with a prequel/sequel.

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[constant-stateofdenial]

I went into the depths of hell (my biochem notes on nitrogen metabolism in goodnotes from last semester) to check some info for a couple of lines that will be in a fic i’m writing and that no one will care to double check anyways because who cares about scientific accuracy and they could be omitted and nothing would change anyways

[constant-stateofdenial]

Thinking about how my old laptop (2021- nearly 2025) went through so much abuse and didn’t shit itself like my current one. was it slow? yeah, did the hinge end up breaking? yeah, did the screen detach from the rest of it because of said broken hinge? yes, but it survived me spilling so much onto it (accidentally) and it being handled in a not so nice way, even the great backpack flood of 2023 that killed my iPad

meanwhile my current one felt a little humidity and went ‘I can’t handle this’ and a third of the keyboard doesn’t work right anymore

oh and shoutout to the middle/high school chromebook I had for ages that got RAN OVER and still had no issues, like I only got a new one when a teacher found out it was so slow I couldn’t do my research for that one class in high school (then I proceeded to go through five because of keyboard issues)

[constant-stateofdenial]

editing threatening me again, this was 7k now it’s nearly 10k, i’m not even halfway done, and still need to do another round of edits and i’ve been working on this round of edits for three days like I wrote it all out and now I have to go in and fix what I messed up or what doesn’t make sense and change things so it flows better

[constant-stateofdenial]

me, writing: that’s definitely not how that word is spelled

[constant-stateofdenial]

went to the beach today and almost got attacked by a seagull

[constant-stateofdenial]

Temporary writing setup until I get a new laptop (except when I write my laptops going to be open and my headphones not on it just not doing that rn) hope to get a little done on literally any wip I have tonight

(ft the stack of books i’ve read this summer and my several years old lava lamp that doesn’t work properly anymore but still gives off light and looks kinda cool)

[constant-stateofdenial]

So I borrowed the one external keyboard my parents (my dad) have, and this thing sucks to write on so much, but also I don’t want to deal with 9 broken keys atm

[constant-stateofdenial]

I don’t think i’ll be reapplying to the grad program I applied to last year again this year 💀 Will probably do it again next year (if I still want to do it) but the application deadline is 2 months out and I 1 - haven’t touched it and 2 - have no idea who to get write rec letters because i’m not currently working or volunteering with anyone (i’ve been bumming out all summer so far)

[constant-stateofdenial]

I finished The Martian (book) yesterday and it’s so peak like, I feel sad having finished it because it was so good 😭 and i’m also still thinking very much about Project Hail Mary, so I’m very tempted to write a fic where (pre Ares III launch or after, who knows and post PHM) Mark Watney meets Grace and Rocky

Mind you, I have several ongoing fics I need to update and i’ve been avoiding my laptop like the plague because the keyboard is half broken (keys stick more than they don’t) and nothing ever loads and the battery life is shit

[constant-stateofdenial]

I’ve thought about Calculus 2 way too much in the past 24 hours for someone who hasn’t touched calc in nearly three years

[constant-stateofdenial]

y’all i’m finally going to be able to take that fiction writing class i’ve been wanting to take this fall :) (unless I find a class that interests me that’s online and/or fits my schedule that’s less words and easier since that’s a 6000 word class and I only need 2000 more to graduate)

[constant-stateofdenial]

update on the my-laptop-keyboard-is-a-piece-of-shit saga: took it in to see if the keyboard could be easily fixed, turns out the price to fix it is near the price of this laptop, will have to use an external keyboard or deal with the annoyance of the keys until late in July when back to school deals start so I can buy a new one

keep in mind, my laptop’s been acting up since january, february, i’ve just been kind of dealing with it (and wanting to chuck it out a window)

[constant-stateofdenial]

Being so for real, i’ve barely interacted with anything Stranger Things related since volume 2 released 🫣 like I have stopped caring about that show, and all it took was that shitty fifth season I never finished

[constant-stateofdenial]

This isn’t new I got it a week or so ago but look at this copy of The Martian I got, it’s so cool looking (ignore the background, I took a picture of this while in B&N and this was by the checkout area)

[constant-stateofdenial]

While i’m posting on this blog again, some life updates: I’m living with my parents for at least the next six months to a year, was rejected from every grad school I applied to, and had to delay my undergrad graduation to retake a class so I’ve got two classes left I need to graduate which are actually just gen ed’s (public speaking and a writing class that has a higher word count than I need but whatever) but at least I get to take a few more science classes to finish my minor and delay student loan repayment

anyways, that’s why I haven’t touched anything recently, because all this has been making me lowkey depressed, and I really need to call this clinic and beg for a job but there’s this mental block that’s keeping me from doing it because i’m too much of a coward to make a stupid phone call

[constant-stateofdenial]

My laptop is a piece of shit and i’m so tired of my keyboard acting like this, I really should take it somewhere to try and fix it atp bc these keys taking forever to start working and then randomly stopping again is so annoying