she nods, a curt sort of thing, though there's no rude intent behind it. alana wonders sometimes, whether hannibal would prefer her the way that she was. it seems silly–– girlish, almost-- to wonder if he misses the old her. it's doubtful that that's a word he would ever use. but she imagines that, at the very least, she had been a more amusing plaything before ever knowing the truth. she feels like much more of a utility now than a dalliance. because that's all it could be called, isn't it? a dalliance? what for alana had been such a crucial part of her life had only really been a fraction of the picture for hannibal. if she's any good at her job, the last few months have told her exactly where hannibal's passion lies. the part of his heart that he'd shared with her had only ever been facsimile.
breathing has become easier, at least. there had been a quite a few fainting spells at the beginning-- and one real one, once-- when she was still unused to the circumstances. there had been weeks where alana had had to bite down the urge to run, to try and kill him, to call jack, to show up at a local questura and see how far her french could get her in italian. (she's much more fluent now, thanks to hours of careful study. it's like she's become a housewife with no real house. there are apartments, of course, but they're impeccably kept, and of course, hannibal likes to cook. alana is fairly sure she's never read so much in her life.) but there is little choice in this new life, not really. any ambition she'd once had to escape is long gone. one day, perhaps, if he ever tires of her, hannibal may see it fit to set alana loose somewhere-- though she can hardly imagine what that would look like. she offers a wan smile at the toast, happy enough to drink whatever he selects. it's always undeniably excellent. she'd appreciated that, once, been impressed by it. now she's only passingly grateful, sometimes even a little irked by it. but tonight, she is stepfordian in her placidity. ' we should, ' she agrees, ' it wouldn't do for you not to greet your public. ' she's teasing, but it's true. hannibal enjoys quite the social ranking as doctor fell, with people clamoring for his attention. she can hardly fault them-- his charm is unmatched; she, of all people, would know.
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