"Most men don't marry the woman they love or loved the most. They marry the woman that’s in their life when they’re ready to marry." Is this statement completely false or does it hold some truth? - Quora
I think there’s a lot of truth to this.
Often it’s because guys are indecisive and like to avoid commitment. Sometimes (rarely) it’s because he knows it wouldn’t work anyway, based on where he is in his life journey.
I was 19 when I fell in love for the first time. She was “the one”. But there was so much I had to learn and do before I was ready to get married. She was way ahead of me in terms of maturity and stability. We both knew that. She tried. I sort of tried. It didn’t work because I was an indecisive, immature child. I would have made an awful husband. I still talk to her, we are still friends, and we still care about each other a lot though. Twelve years later I don’t find myself still desiring her in any way, and I don’t believe she “wants me” romantically or emotionally either.
Somewhere inside us there is a romantic guy who believes in true love and all that good stuff. But that guy is buried wayyy down deep and is never made the priority. Guys prioritize monetary success, achievement and reaching goals rather than finding “the one”. There are lots of guys who put off getting married and constantly stay on the fence, unsure of whether or not it’s something they really want to do.
In the end, nobody wants to be alone. When a guy is really ready he probably will not take his time in searching for the love of his life, but rather, someone who is there and will continue to be there despite his shenanigans.
I have loved more than a few girls when I was younger and fell in love with women when I was more mature.
Some got away from me. I wasn't ready and they were.
I wasn't thinking about marriage when I met my wife. It was just going to be a date. But then it was such a good experience I started not wanting to see any one else. Pretty soon you look at your life and you make a decision if you can see life with this person at 50 and 60 and 70. I couldn't see my life without her. I wanted to get married. I wanted her to be my family. I wanted her to have the protections and benefits that a spouse gets in the USA when legally married.