itâs simple, really.
I had a tiny accident years ago and it ruined my brain.
the shame, the fear that someone noticed, and the fear that it might happen again became obsessive.
suddenly any hint of anxiety or embarrassment would give me the feeling of needing to pee, which just fueled the emotions and so on.
the paranoia of losing control takes over everything when I get stressed, keeping me running to the bathroom and having nightmares of being discovered and mocked. nightmares of waking up wet.
that probably only made my bladder smaller.
the cycle continues, making me doubt myself and a little voice inside my head telling me that maybe I am still an immature little girl.
popping up at the worst moments, like when Iâm speaking up in class or in a sexy little outfit for a night on the town, wondering if itâs true and what others would think.
itâs probably the anxiety/shame cycle that led to me having a few more accidents.
unfortunately itâs inescapable, any moment of doubt sends me spiraling and obsessing over whether I truly am losing control. a self fulfilling prophecy.
itâs the same obsessive thinking that has me wondering if deep down, I deserve and enjoy being objectified.
with just enough fear and doubt, I canât escape the uncertainty.
somewhere along the way, I began using compulsive masturbation to try to escape the bad feelings.
but now the line is blurred, and shame/fear/humiliation makes me want to shove my hand in my panties.
after I cum a new wave of shame kicks in and I get deeper into the cycle.
I hate it, I crave it, and thereâs no way out.
If this is something negatively impacting your life that you would like to change, a trained therapist can help manage those feelings as well as the feelings of shame, embarrassment and arousal from having to address your feelings. I think you know that you could overcome this, if you wanted to.
But you also realize that the throbbing in your leaky little cunt would go away. you wouldn't get to experience the thrill of humiliation from setting yourself up for a potential accident. I don't think you deserve being objectified, but I do think you're an emotional masochist who has discovered she has a pretty intense desire for being degraded.
Everyone has insecurities and many people find arousal in them. you're just embarrassed that this particular insecurity is so juvenile and you're ashamed that you get excited by the thought of having this insecurity exploited. your silly little ego has decided that it's inappropriate for you, specifically, to be turned on by thoughts of being infantilized because of your outspoken and strongly-held feminist ideals.
Therapy can help make all of that go away, if that is what you want.
On the other hand, there are others of us out there willing to... well, certainly not alleviate, but, shall we say, accommodate your feelings, supporting you and eager to explore just how intensely you would like to engage with these feelings. Even encouraging you to embrace and develop this exciting and intense mix of emotions and experiences, which can be very therapeutic in its own right.
So if you do ever decide that you would like outside intervention into your perverse little world of soggy panties, know that you have options.

















