So, basically, I have officially moved over to my new blog. From now on, everything I post will be there. I will still check this blog daily, as I'm sure there are people who may still want my new URL. I'm also going to use this blog to post on sufjansfriends and a-synesthetic-world, but other than that, I'm gone from here.
This is a really sad thing for me to do, especially because a lot happened to me on here in the past 3 1/2 years. I am going to be keeping this blog up, however, it will no longer be used to post anything unless it is urgent. I might use this account only if I hit post limit on my new one, or if my new one is hacked.
But other than that, I needed a new start. I needed a more positive posting evironment, fewer blogs being followed (I follow nearly 1900 blogs on here, and never see certain posts!!), I needed a friendlier environment, basically, one that I don't have a negative connection to. Recently, I've actually started hating posting on this blog because I feel like no one looks at this and says, wow, what a cool person! etc.
I have 945 followers here. I love all of you dearly. But the problem is that I've made a huge mistake and made myself vulnerable to the same people who bullied me two years ago. Even after apologizing, I feel like that was a mistake. I wanted them to stop disliking me, is all, but something tells me that's not good enough and it never will be good enough. I'm just not good enough. Every time I come onto this account I only feel like every message I get in my inbox is going to be something telling me how awful I am as a person and shame on me for doing that thing! and to be honest, i'm not grown-up enough to face that.
i've recieved minimal anon hate since then, but you just never know what could happen. i hate logging into tumblr and thinking, wow i can't express myself because i post too many things and people don't like x and x and x. it's been this way for a while. and no one should ever feel like they can't post x thing because x person doesn't like it- same for tags. people shouldn't have to go into a tag and get annoyed because someone is being that way. so i'm very sorry to anyone i've ever annoyed with my posts. i never mean to annoy. i like to make people smile and laugh because it makes me feel happy, but sometimes i overdo it and it's just not funny. and that's when i start to feel bad about myself. i almost always blame myself for 99% of the bad things that happen to me.
i like to use tumblr as a personal outlet because this is the one place where i can 100% be myself. i hate following blogs that shame people for something they cannot help, and sadly, many of the blogs i follow are doing that.
So, this is goodbye if you're not going to be staying with me.
Let this be a lesson to all of you: be careful of what you post online, don't let anyone make you feel worthless for being you, and please do not fuck up and do what I did. And please, never hesitate to start over if things start to get really screwy. I wish I didn't have to do this, but I got myself into a hole that I can't get out of.
stormborns
dailybridgerton
snowghoul
gummygunk
