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Well, I've said everything I wanted to.

@coordinatormitama

NOT USING THIS BLOG ANY MORE!! notifs from this acc are for my side blog <3

2,646 posts

coordinatormitama

Jan 1, 2022

my new years playlist but its utterly incomprehensible to anyone but me

transcription:

1- This Year - The mountain goats

2-19- the entirety of the bifrost incident

20- Heads Roll Off- Frightened Rabbit

#uh leaking the only blog i actually use to rb my frankly iconic ny playlist #THIS is main blog content #no i didnt have to talk myself down from a panic attack after this rb what do u mean

coordinatormitama

Jun 10, 2021

this is my obligatory post telling you to go listen to nowhere generation thanks 🖤

#fr though i was not expecting forfeit to be an acoustic track but #i really did need for someone to be screaming i will not give up on you ffjkdkd #the album: slaps #im not gonna yell about it more for the exactly one (1) person who reads my shit anymore #but god its so good and i need to verbalise that dhkdns #Spotify

coordinatormitama

madokamagicasecrets

May 25, 2021

shitsureishicago

#🥺🥺#every time this comes across my dash i am overwhelmed w emotions #i will me using my one brain cell to cry over this now

coordinatormitama

May 19, 2021

The Bifrost Incident (2017)

#the bifrost incident #im sorry but i couldn't get this out my head

coordinatormitama

May 15, 2021

hey on that note guess whos still not dead

#its not for lack of trying but im doing better now #well i mean ive settled into the mundanity of life after being p much forced to push through the 15million panic attacks + apply for a job #and now id feel bad about letting everyone down but #idk nyx can have just a little screaming into the void; as a treat #(i mean there are still a whole fucking lotta issues in my life- maybe being murdered is apparently one of them- but im doing. idk. im doing #idk i might delete this one but. half the reason i wasnt posting anything was to hide and. im not fucking scared anymore. do your worst.

coordinatormitama

May 14, 2021

“Angela’s soulmate, Sera”

#angela odinsdottir #sera #no thoughts only this #if they dont get these bitches back together im gonna lose it

coordinatormitama

Oct 22, 2020

#ok i need 2 vent somewhere where i can be percieved for a few seconds so just #let.me say dis n then im outta here #nobody needs to read this or anything i just like. need to know i exost for a while #easonal depression is rly kicking in and i am not having a good time :/#my anxiety is at like an all time high n literally everything is makin my panic #i thought id figured out how to keep a hold on my grip on reality but its slipping through my fingers again and im actually scared #i dont know what to do and i know i n e e d to seek a professional again but it would be pointless with my anxiety so high #i. have ran out of steam w my most recent interest n its not good! being fixated on poetry was like. the only thing i was hanging on to #and now i just. i dont know #i dont know i dont know #ive been like. zoning out more n more to cope with my brain and its not healthy and. i know my current repreive from reality is gonna end #ive only been. managing because i dont have to resemblr a person anymore i can think only abt stuff that calms my brain #the swcond any pressure is on me i am going 2 crumble and theres already so little left.#i guess ill have to go bck 2 the woods soon but im terrfied #and i dont know #is any of this even real anyway #this definitely feels like an imagination of my dying brain #god. i wish. i hope so #not a single good thing has happened since i attempted and i hope this is just. my attempt. none of this happened. im dead #ty foe listening; void. thanks for percieving me empty vastness of space that is the depths of tumblr

coordinatormitama

Oct 17, 2020

I’m wasted, losing time I’m a foolish, fragile spine I want all that is not mine I want him but we’re not right

In the darkness I will meet my creators And they will all agree, that I’m a suffocator

I should go now quietly For my bones have found a place To lie down and sleep Where all my layers can become reeds All my limbs can become trees All my children can become me What a’ mess I leave To follow

In the darkness I will meet my creators They will all agree, I’m a suffocator

Suffocator Oh no I’m sorry if I smothered you I sometimes wish I’d stayed inside My mother Never to come out

#daughter #i couldnt pick a section of the song so i just. whole lyrics #if u want to know how im holding up! this is all im gonna say lol #idk nothing goood ever happens after 2am or somethin but my brains on one #and i want there to b a record that this is myfavourite song or somethin. idk #im literally only here 2 do this n then im gonna dfop off the face of the earth. forever i guess

coordinatormitama

Sep 3, 2020

But I find it soothing When I am confined I’m just fearing one day soon I’ll lose my mind

#ok THIS one.hits different

coordinatormitama

Sep 3, 2020

I'm trying to get out

Find a subtle way out

Not just cross myself out

Not just disappear

coordinatormitama

Sep 3, 2020

It's different now

Grey-faced

Eyes burnt out

Flames are gone

#me: disappears for months #also me: here have a 4am spam of music #ill be gone again for months (or foerver) after thisnfor sure but dor now #at least ppl will know what to play at my funeral lol #Spotify

coordinatormitama

Sep 3, 2020

Well I've lost it all, I'm just a silhouette,

I'm a lifeless face that you'll soon forget,

#no yhoughts only daughter #Spotify

coordinatormitama

Sep 3, 2020

Is this called living

Or something else

coordinatormitama

Sep 3, 2020

I think I'm made of stone

I should be feeling more

#other than: that whole ass vent ive been listening to a LOT of daughter #their whole. discography just. hits different #fossa is favorite of mine but..most of it is just. really fucking good #i wish i like #possessed any fucking emotions.at all anymore because id like #actually care.and say stan daughter #but i dont; so whatever i gusss #i recommend you slap them on shuffle and chill out; or cry if u want #Spotify

coordinatormitama

Sep 3, 2020

Self sabotage to the end

If I could do it again

What would I change?

It was a stupid game anyway

I admit I'm afraid

To face what comes next

Where do I turn when I've turned on my friends?

#i am still alive unfortunately #tho i am very much losing my grip on reality #i have! nothing 2 ground me at all and days slip into weeks and i guess im 20 now? i forgot abt my birthday until dead before #and i managed 2 find 2 people to do something with but i know i wont speak to them for months now #i imagine they only came bc they feel bad or smthn. and im tired. im so very tired #can. csn my soul finally rest soon; please. im tired #donf reincarnate me next time aroynd. leave me alone #i want ro die and stay dead. please gods. plesse just. erase me #nobody will even notice anymore. please. im. so fucking tired. if i didmt kmow better id tell you im already dead #but i do and its my omtentiom to fix that as soon as i csm becuse im just so fucking tired of everything. my existence exhausts my very soul #Spotify

coordinatormitama

Jul 6, 2020

things that should have gone on my vent: ↓

coordinatormitama

Jul 6, 2020

me, realizing im the only motherfucker left 2 talk me down from a suicide attempt:

Well, I've said everything I wanted to. @coordinatormitama - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag