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Why No. 6 is something

Can we appreciate Number Six for a moment? I'm not going to write all the plot but... the first episode really is... something.

Okay. During a storm, a bleeding, complete stranger with the eyes of a psychotic murderer shows up in Shion's room after he left his window open. And when he notices him, the stranger fucking chokes him. At this moment a little and naive twelve years old technically should start praying for his life, but... he doesn't. Shion simply ask him if he can help. When his mum calls him from downstairs he doesn't scream, he doesn't ask for help (even if he has a room filled with high-tech items that could save him in a second). So that's why the stranger, Nezumi, trusts him from the start. And really, who wouldn't? Shion is precious. He's smart and gentle and curious, filled with wonder and hope. He may seem boring compared with the strong, charming and mysterious Nezumi, but in reality they are amazing and at the same level. At least that's what I think.

Later Shion helps him and heals is wound, but he also gives him food, an hot drink, new clothes and my two personal favorites: affection and security. Maybe for only one night, but Nezumi remembered that night with a warm heart for years and you can't tell me otherwise.

Then Nezumi asks Shion why he's helping him like this. He questions that with a grinning face, he wants to seem confident, but I think in this moment Nezumi's completely insecure. "Why is he helping me? Why me? I am a stranger, a monster, a freak, while he's kind and generous and warm."

Well, even Shion can't really tell why he's doing all of this. He starts saying that he helped just because he looked like he was going to die and he thought he was a girl and... he says: "I don't know" He doesn't know why, but he knows that he's supposed to do it, that he needs it.

I dunno guys, but that's the whole point of their relationship. Of the whole anime. Doing something not for the power, the money, the love, the fame, the anger, or for charity. Doing something just because. For example trying rescue a little baby even if many would say it's not gonna help, or kissing someone to say goodbye. They've met... maybe an our ago? They don't know anything about each other, but still, the way they talk, the way they act... it seems like they've known each other for years. It all starts so simply. Shion doesn't asks him his name only because Nezumi didn't asked too, he doesn't ask ANYTHING at all. They talk like it's some every-day-shit for them. Their relationship doesn't feel forced by the events of the plot, it's just casual and chill and normal and... melancholic.

Hear me out, I'm not saying that Number Six is the best anime in the world. I know that compared with others it's irrelevant, you can say it. It has flaws, it's short and sometimes confusing. But it was one of the first anime that I saw, it has a special place in my heart. And maybe I find it melancholic because it's a lovely memory for me, but I also think that this anime, even if it's strange and confusing and short, really has got a melancholic aura. You can see it from the strong bond between the two protagonists and from the first time they met. Because it looks like they've met before. They also look melancholic, they whisper and sometimes they stay silent and that's okay. For soulmates there's no need to be talkative.

Oops, I did it again... well, what can I say? Thank you for coming to my ted talk

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Nezumi and his inner child.

Nezumi had once a refuge. Before the age of 5, he had a home where he was probably nurtured and taken care of, according to Rou’s description of how Mao’s people lived. Nevertheless, Nezumi has no memory of it, and we can’t be sure if he had loving parents or maybe average parents with everyday problems, but this isn’t precisely the matter of importance here.

Nezumi can’t recall the past. His very first childhood memory is fire and rotting corpses around him, while he’s running away for his life without any place to point to the sinking boat that was his fear. But, he survived.

Nezumi survived and then he had to wake up every morning to keep on surviving.

He had his Granny, who good or bad -depends on which loupe you want to see her- helped him with his physical injuries and fed him when he was unable to do it for himself. She also gave Nezumi, more or less, a shape where he could grow up to and, of course, keep in the endless path of survival.

Nezumi had no other choice than to believe her words. Maybe, as a child, he tried to rebel against them. Maybe, he went out to West Block’s streets only to find out that Granny’s lessons were true. If Nezumi tried to get close to someone, that someone would take advantage of him to get away with something… and so, Nezumi never had a refuge again.

Nezumi didn’t get the opportunity for his fears to be soothed and his joy to be partied along with someone. He was emotionally alone and he couldn’t even afford to be vulnerable with himself because it would cost his life.

Solitude is ingrained in Nezumi’s brain. Although it isn’t the best for him, it makes him wake up every day to a new sun. Solitude makes him functional and that’s what matters. Nezumi believes is the only way to get through danger and people’s advantage. It’s functional, yet not the most healthy resolution.

It shows when it comes to his relationships with others. We see him getting exasperated and hurting for Shion’s innocent shows of affection. Nezumi has no idea how to welcome something like that, he pushes it away as much as he can until he hits rock bottom in the Correctional Facility arc… Then he leaves in a rush out of No. 6, which I think it’s the most freeing thing he can do for himself.

Nezumi deserves to understand compassion, gentleness, kindness. He deserves not to be afraid of good experiences. He deserves to connect with other people and laugh carefree, just like he did with Shion.

But I believe, Nezumi won’t understand anything of these if it comes from an external source. He might have great acquaintances, friends, lovers (who knows), yet something will be getting in the way.

His past. It should stop getting in the way of an opportunity to get a good life.

He’ll have plenty of time and space to figure all the confusion and hurt he’s carrying. He will have nature, the books he’s read, but most important his own aching soul. It’ll ring to his ears that there’s someone waiting to be released from pain.

This someone is his inner child. Nezumi would have to meet again with the frightened little boy and hold him in his arms as if it was his own son. Nezumi would have to nurture that young child and tell him that, despite it all, everything is okay.

Nezumi could sing a lullaby to this kid. A song where he tells little Nezumi that he didn’t deserve to go through that and that he’s sorry he had to. But things have changed now and they have the right to play. The world is now theirs to explore and it’d be so much better if they have fun with it as they would have liked it many years ago. They can go to forests and pick up flowers, even get a crown flower if that was something he dreamed of.

This process is called reparenting therapy, in which basically someone or yourself takes the role of the caregiver to give what you didn’t get from your parents or other parenting roles when growing up. The role of the caregiver might be taken by the therapist, yet I, personally, believe is better if the role is taken by yourself.

In Nezumi’s case, I can’t see him coping with therapy. But who knows, that’s not the topic precisely.

This process, which would be done unconsciously, will lead Nezumi to recognize and repair those behaviors he isn’t precisely proud of, like his outbursts or having pushed warmth and care away. It’ll help him to understand that it was comprehensible to be afraid, but that’s unnecessary nowadays. He deserves to sleep more soundly.

All the affirmations of being “the devil” or “cold”, would be unlearned and relearned with better phrasing like “I am a caring person, I’m able to connect with other people, and I also like that”.

Maybe, he’ll find that when he’s feeling uneasy, something as simple as brushing his chest with his fingertips helps him to decelerate the anxiety surrounding his heart because that was what his inner child would have wanted when he was hurting the most.

Once he’s able to comprehend this and let it root in his brain just like survival and solitude have done, a bridge will be built where he can allow other people to come in, and attaching with them would not cost him trembling nights, self-punishments, or cold tears, because his inner child knows that he’s loved, forgiven, important… and so is adult Nezumi.

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It pleases me that Asano saw Nezumi’s anger at No.6 as something so justified she put an entire god-like being into the story who was unknowingly enacting Nezumi’s will and killing the No.6 citizens—even tho Nezumi has never thought of killing people, he’s always treated No.6 as an entity, like the 16yo he is, he imagined himself fighting a monster. And then it was the boy whose life No.6 people fucking ruined that stood up for them because he decided that he doesn’t want to grow up and become just as cruel as them. Get wrecked and humbled No.6, honestly. Nezumi fucking owned it!

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