coralsplice

hii it’s carol ! 20yo she/they

[tinylilhollander]

I know that Heated Rivalry is one of those pieces of media where COVID never happens but what if it did? Imagine the lockdown shenanigans.

Shane and Ilya are obviously hunkering down at the cottage together. There's no hockey, but they don't know for how long, so they're still training all the time. They're doing interviews and having to make it look like they're in completely different places. Ilya has to keep being reminded that he's supposed to still be back in Ottawa.

Ilya's teammates keep asking if they can be in a lockdown bubble together and he's gotta be like "No, can't do that. I'm not taking any chances." But now they're worried because he hasn't seen or been around another human being in months and they've noticed that even before lockdown he made more jokes about killing himself than the average person, so they're stressed to their eyeballs about his mental health.

Meanwhile Ilya's living the kind of domestic fantasy with his man that he didn't think they were going to get until retirement. For the first time ever most days he can truly pretend that he and Shane are the only people in the world. Sometimes David and Yuna come over for dinner because they are also isolating at their cottage. But most of the time it's just endless hours of just the two of them and neither of them could be happier. Their biggest decision every day is when and where to fuck. Some people are getting into sourdough – Shane and Ilya have committed to learning one new sexual position every day.

I just think that lockdown would have been the ideal codependent situation for Hollanov.

[coralsplice]

i have been so sick today ohh my god when they said the illness was chronic i didn’t think they meant FOREVER

[mizuthe-cat]

it’s always “I understand why you have an autism diagnosis now” and not “thank you for explaining the entirety of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster to me, I really enjoyed hearing about the Chernobyl nuclear disaster”

[coralsplice]

the number one thing on my season two wish list is yuna hollander saying fuck.

[coralsplice]

pinterest thingy!!!

find 9 things that feel like you on pinterest :)

tagged by @flyorganisim

passing to the lovely(ies?)@cluelesscher @orangeboxfox92 @savannahrathbone

[coralsplice]

god i’m so tired of censoring random bullshit because a computer decided it’s profane to talk about the love of my life and star of the song deeper well by kacey musgraves, the gravity bong

[coralsplice]

i’m touring the most swag bomb apartment today it has glass brick and really high ceilings RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[coralsplice]

it went FABULOUSLY let’s all get etsy witches to cast a spell so we get approved

[coralsplice]

i’m touring the most swag bomb apartment today it has glass brick and really high ceilings RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[coralsplice]

i did not do the research needed to enjoy backrooms and it gave me a headache But i had fun.

also i realized yall haven’t even seen me so here’s my face

[naturalpr3y]

so funny that ilya spends all of episode one beating shane + rubbing it in his face and then shane finally gets his win and tries to rub it in ilyas face so cutely his little banter . and ilya is like What are u talking about I never cared about any of this My life fucking sucks obviously. and shane is like 😯 oh damn My bad

[coralsplice]

my 21st is coming up and i wanna have a little theme so we can all match but idk what to dooooo

[coralsplice]

thinking abt drunk and horny ilya coming home yelling “ MY SHAAAAANE!!!! where are you i need you.”

like i don’t have anything else to say im just thinking about it

[coralsplice]

i also think he’s calling home, like ilya’s been out with marleau for like… seven hours and he’s calling shane like the danuta bit in family guy

“shane.”

“yes hi are you okay it’s so early???”

“my shane.”

“baby what do you need this is so odd?????”

“will you send them?”

“send what? like money??do i need to come bail you out?!?”

“i need to see.”

“what the genuine fuck is this”

“ ..(mouth noises) …. so pretty… so pretty.”

“okay how about you just come home love.”

“i will take such good careof youohmygodilovemyshaaaaaaane.myshaneiamgoingtodieinthepussyohmygo-NONOMARLEEEYNOoo”

then there’s the rustling sound of a grown man being wrangled and deposited into a car, and cliff is yelling into the receiver like a man in battle

“PREPARE YOURSELF !!! BATTEN THE HATCHES !!!! THIS MAN HAS BEEN TALKING ABOUT HOLE FOR FOURTY FIVE MINUTES !!”

and then the line is dead and an eta is sent to Shane’s phone.

[lavendersaysbye]

Some musings on Ilya and his relationship to religion and growing up. Part of a larger fic I´m writing on Ilya and how his experiences with religion affected his relationship with Shane, his mother, and various other people in his life. Not finished yet but hope you enjoy this drabble :)

--

His mother was a devout Christian, she always had been in Ilya's memory. Every Sunday they went like clockwork. His mother would put on her long winter coat and wrap him up in a thick red scarf. It was a long walk to the church, eyelashes frozen and nose red from the snowflakes falling down during the harsh Russian winters. In his memory he´s always young when going to the church, that sweet type of innocence you only have at age seven or eight. Before hockey became serious, before everything became so heavy. Realistically he knows that he went to church After. Knows that the church windows have seen the chubby baby fat melt from his face, seen him grow into his gangly teenage limbs. These glass-stained figures have seen him bury his mother, his father, and his innocence. But when he tries to picture it in his mind's eye all he can picture is that red scarf and his mother holding his tiny hand in hers.

He remembers the grand domes and the piercing blues. The sparkling gold and the dark wooden pews. The fractured sunlight flowing through the windows, dust particles dancing some imaginary ballet. Listening to the priest drone on about the importance of faith, of duty, to never rise to temptation, to never give in to his wanting. The importance of atonement and sacrifice, to submit to His will and follow in His image. He remembers thinking that God sounded an awful lot like his father, cold, distant and demanding. Then again, God was the father of all things. So maybe all fathers were like that everywhere and he was a fool for hoping it would be different.

Sometimes God sounded like his mother. When the priest told him in softer tones that they were all shaped in His image, made from His love. Ilya at eight years old liked to think he was shaped in his mother's image. They shared the same blonde curls that glinted in the sun, and her blue eyes stared back at him in the mirror. He figured finding divine in the ordinary, to search for God as the sermon urged him to, was the same as reaching for his mother's hand. To let her hands guide him through the busy streets and grocery aisles, bury his face in her lap when everything was to much.

Sometimes God sounded like a fairy tale too good to be true. When his knees ached and his lungs burned from a period on the ice, and the puck would not find the back of the net no matter how hard he tried. When all he could do was disappoint his father overlooking him. Stern and harsh like the ice beneath him. When his mother was sad and distant, surviving on cigarette smoke and an atmosphere at home so dark and suffocating you could almost taste it. When his brother outgrew his boyish innocence. All sneering insults, scraped knees, and harsh shoves against the wall. Locking away everything soft about him so deeply that Ilya hardly recognised him anymore. But then maybe that was part of growing up too. Atoning to prove to God that you were worthy of his love.

[coralsplice]

thinking abt drunk and horny ilya coming home yelling “ MY SHAAAAANE!!!! where are you i need you.”

like i don’t have anything else to say im just thinking about it

[allstarrocks]

vampire ilya where shane and ilya are in the showers post ccm ad shoot and ilya tries the jerking it angle and shane does his little not here >:( and ilyas like. Oh. Mayb e he was into the vampire thing? And he flashes his fangs and shane Scurrire saway but waits in the lockerroom snd ilya gets his room number and hes going up there thinking oh im gonna hook up with Shane Hollander mr. Golden boy and shane is sweating througg his tshirt going A Vampire Has Threatened To Kill Me

[chubby-cry-baby]

shane hollander loves an official invite even to his husband that he lives with - ilya are you free 8 to 12 on saturday i want to go to the farmers market let me know we don’t have to stay there for 4 hours it will be fun and yes dogs are allowed - and ilya walks over to shane, “shane what is this” “im asking if you’re free what’s wrong” “why didn’t you just ask me we live together now” “i know i just wanted it to be official what’s wrong with it” “nothing yes im free let’s go to boring farmers market” “it’s not boring” MWAH

[coralsplice]

barbie and the 12 dancing princesses is really such a masterpiece