#CORDECEPT : an independent, private, highly selective, and 18+ portrayal of JOEL MILLER from the last of us video games.
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@cordecept
#CORDECEPT : an independent, private, highly selective, and 18+ portrayal of JOEL MILLER from the last of us video games.
﹟𝚂𝚄𝚂𝙿𝙾𝙽𝚃𝙴 : TIM GUTTERSON , from fx studios' justified , as deputized by 𝚓𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚢 since '𝟸𝟸 〔 you do not need to be familiar with justified to interact , just please be sure to read the info provided throughout my carrd 〕
HIATUS ANNOUNCEMENT
hello friends ! thank you all so much for your interest in my portrayal of joel. this blog is really stressful right now, so i am officially putting joel back on hiatus until the show ends. i apologize for any inconvenience or disappointment. ♡ if you are still interested in writing with me, you can find me on: @deadeyer ( arthur morgan, my main blog ) / @revelatorial ( western oc ) / @susponte ( tim gutterson )
HIATUS ANNOUNCEMENT
hello friends ! thank you all so much for your interest in my portrayal of joel. this blog is really stressful right now, so i am officially putting joel back on hiatus until the show ends. i apologize for any inconvenience or disappointment. ♡ if you are still interested in writing with me, you can find me on: @deadeyer ( arthur morgan, my main blog ) / @revelatorial ( western oc ) / @susponte ( tim gutterson )
i was already dead. rest’a the world’s just playin’ catch-up.
𝐒𝐈𝐌𝐎𝐍 '𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓’ 𝐑𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐘 from call of duty: modern warfare 2 & warzone. the last of us verse featured. private, highly selective, headcanon heavy & multiverse. 𝚆𝚁𝙸𝚃𝚃𝙴𝙽 𝙱𝚈 𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙹𝙰. personals do not reblog. please read rules before interacting. 𝙲𝙰𝚁𝚁𝙳.
WITH THE NEW SHOW COMING OUT IN A HALF HOUR i just want to give all the potentially new joel writers a gentle reminder that joel has been jewish coded since 2013 ♡
WANT TO PUT YOUR MUSE INTO JOEL'S CANON BUT AREN'T SURE HOW?
・WORKED CONSTRUCTION TOGETHER. there's generally a lot of banter and camaraderie on job sites. the guys often go out for drinks (but joel generally does not partake since he has a little girl to get home to.) joel was also trying to start his own company so that opens up a lot of opportunities too! maybe your muse is an investor or someone he wanted to partner with. ↳ ALT : joel does a lot of side jobs to earn extra cash! maybe he's your muse's handyman or he built their deck or floating floor or something ・THROUGH THEIR KIDS. does your muse have a kid? maybe they did soccer with sarah. maybe your muse and joel chaperoned a field trip together. maybe your muse always sits next to joel at the 'meet the teachers' night. sarah is involved in a lot and has a ton of friends. maybe your muse was friends with her! ・THROUGH MUSIC. this is an au since he was too busy raising sarah, but maybe they used to play music at the same bar. maybe it's an inside llewyn davis kinda vibe.
you guys do Not understand the depth of my love for tlou & joel
Han Kang, Human Acts (translated by Deborah Smith)
GENERAL DISCLAIMER FOR TLOU SHOW FANS : this portrayal is game based. which means that there are spoilers for the general storyline throughout this entire blog. i won't be tagging spoilers for game events unless asked, but i will tag anything specifically related to the show.
hit the "♡" for some joel in your inbox while i get settled in for the day!
the night cries out like all truly damned things do ; silently , without hope for help or reprieve. it is a cry that is killed before it can reach the conception of the throat. a cry that does not exist anywhere except in a better place. a kinder place. but not here, never here . . . not in a place where cries only exist as a calling. a beckoning. an invitation to the altar from the lamb to the knife ; from the throat to the teeth. and so the night sits quiet under their gaze. too quiet. the silence is broken only by the sounds of bugs on the bayou and the rustle of joel’s jacket as he shifts. the night watch has been uneventful but that doesn't bring any relief. only a restless tension that rolls through his shoulders like a storm that has brewed past the point of bursting. antsy or anxious ? he isn't sure. not anymore. just that there's an unpleasant itch under his skin.
the rhythmic footfalls of a familiar gait settle over him like a shroud. as tommy settles in next to him , joel releases a breath he hadn't even realized he was holding. it feels like his ribs are yawning open to welcome back one of their own. like he'll never be able to breathe correctly without tommy in his sight. he has been his brother's keeper from the first & he'll be it until his last.
then tommy breaks the silence , continuing an earlier ' discussion ' without the weight of prying eyes and greedy ears. ❝ survivin' isn't livin' ❞ tommy says without preamble , and joel wishes he wouldn't. he wishes he could clutch the words in his fist and pull them from the fragile memory of the air ; to crush them under the heel of his boot as easily as the head of a snake.
he scoffs , something bitter in his throat. it feels like he's leading the breath free from his lungs on a tangled string of barbed wire. his tongue tastes of blood and rust. of anger and something he doesn't want to name. something that could almost taste like fear. that kind of attitude is more dangerous than any old bastard's bullet. tommy is holding his hand in the fire and thanking it for the warmth even as the skin melts from his bones. he's looking for the good , too goddamn blind to see that it's been gone long enough for them all to go cold. that he's clutching at the comfort of corpses. making wishes on falling stars without realizing that all the lights are just the smoldering ash of everything they used to love. the days of living are over. they died in his shaking hands outside austin. there's only survival . . . that is , there's only survival until there's not.
❝ you don't get to pick and choose. ❞ he glowers , tone carved from something granitic with the coldest of tools. he's harsh. harsher than he means. just another beast weaned on the brine of desperation. a dog with a nervous bite. he wants to grip tommy by the shoulders , to meet his eyes and show him the truth in his own. that this is a road of misery and grief. a road with only one end & a short horizon. if he keeps talking like this , the sun will be bleaching both of their bones by next sundown.
𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 : @bulletdrop 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚝 : days gone sentence starters
[ CORDECEPT ] . . . playlist edits
#cordrot. fresh from the fields, all fetor and fertile. bloody and raw but i swear it is sweet. ── with her sweetened breath and tongue so mean, she’s the angel of small death and the codeine scene. independent, private and selective portrayal of tess from the last of us, game and heavily headcanon based. as hunted by cherry.
i'm mostly excited for the show but boy am i not excited to see all the wrong opinions about joel again. he's incredibly complex and so many people take it to extremes and either absolve him of everything or act like he's the devil... or they act like he isn't haunted by what he did ( he is, that's why him saying he'd do it all over again and meaning it is such a big deal. he carries the weight of damning humanity without regret, but that doesn't mean it's not a weight. )
* 𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐄.
feel free to change pronouns / wording!
“ we gotta get to the roof. ”
“ if we don’t get her to a hospital, she’s going to die. ”
“ i’m not even supposed to be out here. ”
“ tracks are fresh. ”
“ just a graze. ”
“ he’s losin’ a lot of blood - he’s not gettin’ far. ”
“ bleedin’ out. that’s a helluva way to go. ”
“ what d’ you suppose that feels like, huh ? torn apart. eaten alive. ”
“ don’t leave me out here. ”
“ something’s blocking the road. ”
“ loan me your shotgun. i’ll walk point. ”
“ i think it’s dead. ”
“ i’m gonna kill them all, every fuckin’ one of ‘em. ”
“ why don’t you wait out here ? let me make sure it’s all clear. ”
“ i’m not gonna kill ya - stop runnin’ ! ”
“ don’t you ever touch me. ”
“ just get the fuck outta my way. ”
“ i could’a blown your goddamn head off ! ”
“ if you had bullets, i wouldn’t be breathin’ now, would i ? ”
“ you don’t sound like - like yourself. ”
“ there’s no such thing as a starving patriot. ”
“ i heard gunshots. ”
“ you’re gonna get yourself killed. ”
“ don’t do anything stupid. ”
“ anyone touches this bike, or anything on it - i break your fingers.. ”
“ it’s not his job t’ know it’s your goddamn job t’ know. ”
“ well aren’t you the optimist. ”
“ trouble in paradise ? ”
“ you got a price on your head. ”
“ wonder what happened here. ”
“ i don’t know what i would do if i lost you. ”
“ you get his attention, i’m gonna try to sneak around behind him. ”
“ could you use a ride ? ”
“ so what’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this ? ”
“ my ex would say i’ve been lost for years. ”
“ oh my god i could’ve killed somebody. ”
“ did you kill them ? ”
“ don’t get soft on me. ”
“ how are you alive ? ”
“ you’re not the only one who lost someone that night. ”
“ i know how to shoot a gun. ”
“ i don’t need a goddamn babysitter, i’m fine. ”
“ it’s a long story. ”
“ i’ll have us back in your bed by ten. ”
“ you don’t want to get infected. ”
“ we’ve all done things we’re not proud of. ”
“ don’t sneak up on me like that ! ”
“ i want to forget. ”
“ you’re just a regular stand-up guy. ”
“ i guess i should’ve been a surgeon. ”
“ you are writing checks with other mens’ blood. ”
“ this is getting old fast. ”
“ never much liked kids - they always tended to get on my nerves. ”
“ do you have my back here ? ”
“ i don’t like starting trouble but - i’ll finish it if i have to. ”
“ caring’ll just get you killed. ”
“ easy to kill a man, when he’s just some piece’a meat standing between you and what you need. ”
“ so, you and _____. ”
“ almost sounded like you volunteered for some shit. ”
“ never piss off a woman who knows how to use a scalpel. ”
“ i’m just fuckin’ with you. ”
“ try not to get your ass shot off. ”
“ look on the bright side, looks like you’re stuck with me. ”
“ there’s a few lines i haven’t crossed. ”
“ you gotta know when to cut a man loose. ”
“ little late for a stroll. ”
“ that’s what brothers do. ”
“ this how we’re goin’ out ? ”
“ only if you promise to ride me as much as your bike. ”
“ you were always a fighter. ”
“ take your shirt off, sit on the table. ”
“ maybe one day, stop and light a candle. it can get pretty cold and dark out there. ”
“ i never saw it - it was on me so fast. ”
“ everything that makes you who you are, oh, it can be burned away. ”
“ everyone i ever cared about is dead. ”
“ you have to run because they will kill you. ”
“ do you know how to use a gun ? ”
“ you’re a godsend, i was praying so hard. ”
“ i thought i lost you. ”
“ are you sure this isn’t personal ? ”
“ i’m not a church goin’ type. ”
“ the world is what it is. ”
“ we make the world what it is, by what we do. ”
“ what are you, five ? ”
“ survivin’ isn’t livin’. ”
“ i think that you’re afraid to be here. ”
“ we need you, and that scares the hell outta you. ”
“ it’s not murder if they shoot at you first. ”
“ what does it matter if everyone else is dead ? ”
“ i’m giving you an order. ”
“ i don’t need your goddamn help. ”
“ y’ know, making me a co-conspirator ? not very chivalrous. ”
“ you don’t take anything seriously. ”
“ how many men have you killed ? ”
“ you’re dead. you’re - you’re supposed to be dead ! ”
“ yeah, i tried to hit that once. ”
“ nice place, it’s got that woman’s touch. ”
“ there was so many of them. ”
“ you enjoyed that. ”
“ are you tryin’ to convince me ? or you ? ”
“ they’re infected. it’s what made them so hyper-aggressive. ”
“ trust no one, expect the worst. ”
“ they used me. ”
“ i didn’t mean to kill him. ”
“ so get up, dust yourself off, try again. ”
“ most people out there ? they’re just trying to survive and here you are, trying to save the goddamn world. ”
“ that shit is locked and loaded. ”
“ i’m not gonna apologize for being lucky. ”
“ i hope this was worth it. ”
“ there’s a horde coming ! ”
“ you’re one of the good ones, man ! ”
“ hey, you watch your mouth. ”
“ sometimes, in the search for truth, the blood of innocents is spilled. ”
“ i didn’t say it was a good plan. ”
“ i wasn’t gonna let ‘em kill ya. ”
“ you did the world a solid. ”
“ would you like some tea ? i’m sure you would. ”
“ you destroyed everything we worked for. ”
“ hope you saved some for me. ”
“ what the hell does that even mean ? ”
“ you don’t have to tell me this. you can stop. ”
night falls like a sharp edge , cleaving forward through the swollen throat of the day ; spilling shades of weary cobalt & violent indigo across this bloated corpse of an old suburbia. houses stand hungry ; doors yawning like mouths propped open & rigged to bite. this place is a love - letter to death , blood begetting blood for the amusement of the dirt. his boots beat against the pavement like a reprimand. like a scorning. like a wild animal that bites off its own leg to escape the trap. he can still hear them. they're not far behind ᅳ just the distance between their own blood - lust and some sick satisfaction.
he rounds the corner , slinking out of sight & into the shelter of moon - lorn shadows as he drops into a low crouch. the tall grasses shift like snakes to accommodate him. the shed ahead looks promising. he'd lost his axe to a set of ribs & a burst of blood , not having enough time to free it before he had to run. he could use some kind of replacement ; some kind of anything.
calloused hands pressing against the sill of splintering wood as he vaults through the window. boots land on cold concrete with a quiet thump & the flair of an old ache in his right knee.
❝ oh shit ᅳ ! ❞ he curses , every nerve an electric collection of simmering explosives he levels his revolver at @0shit. just his goddamn luck.