; ; l o s t m i n d

[corinnv-blog]

paxrinne‌:

Pax glances up. “No,” he says simply. He shifts in his seat. “But… I’ve heard about him. Everyone has, right? He’s more myth than man at this point.”

relief washed over her knowing that pax wasn't connected with him. she didn’t know what she’d do if he had, but that trust was still there. “don’t trust him.” she said suddenly. “it isn’t all myth i mean...i don’t think we can trust him.”

[corinnv-blog]

captainlvna‌:

               he knows he needs to find the right way to handle this. the alliance indeed took her in,     although he doesn’t know all of the details.     he doesn’t think that she knows all of the details,    either.     he does know a good number of people who the alliance took in,    but it wasn’t because an officer felt a pang of empathy or compassion–     it was because they saw something useful in an individual,    something they could potentially weaponize.       “   you’re following your gut feeling,   ”      juan says,     lowering down to speak closer to her ear as he begins to push her towards the door.      “    in my experience,     following my gut feeling has always meant i’m doing the right thing…    trust me,    and keep trusting that feeling.   ” 

     he leans up,    taking a breath before they exit the room.    he keeps his expression neutral,    makes himself look busy–    like he has somewhere to be.    the elevator is down the hall and on the other side of the room,    however,    it feels like an eternity passes by until they’re finally standing beside it,    juan pressing the button to go down. 

cori never felt smaller than she did in that moment, sitting in the wheelchair ready to be whisked away. over the past year, she felt herself starting to evaporate. like slowly they were taking more and more from her. the doctor was consumed that something had gone wrong with the mission and that there was more cori could do. he was pushing her and pushing her. more tests, more experiments. it was for the greater good is what he told her. she might be hurting now but there people who are hurting more than her. deal with the pain since it could help them.

all of that lead to that feeling in the pit of her gut. and intense feeling that told her she needed to leave, she needed to get out of there. and despite how much she wanted to push it away the small flashing pictures of sparrows and the reassuring words from her captain could help quell that fear. “i trust you juan. it’s time to leave.”

after what felt like forever the small ding for the elevator went off and the doors opened. luckily there was only one other person in there with them. cori kept her eyes down and just tried to look as out of it as possible which was normal for her around here.

[corinnv-blog]

nofugitive‌:

“he said ‘corinna’” confirmed kitra, nodding slowly, though her memory was fuzzy she knew that for certain, “he seemed to know you. usually for em that means i killed the person’s family member. but i don’t know what that means for you.” 

“i’ve never killed anyone...well not that i can remember doing. i don’t know if that’s it.” something at the back of her mind kept itching and itching about his name. the more she heard it spoken and the more she said it to herself brought up that tiny spark. “well there is....no...nevermind that’s foolish.”

[corinnv-blog]

ninanyzy‌:

[ closed starter | @corinnv​ ]

              “   well,   just my luck that an alliance ship would fly in here !   ”     the words are common to the cynical planet but they’re spoken in a friendly tone,    an opening of conversation with a smile and bright eyes.      “   really,   i mean lucky !   ”    she reinforces,    stepping up to the young woman who seems to be a part of the raiders that somehow got their hands on the ship.      “   alliance tech is a real toughie to come by,   for free,    of course,   ”     she continues,     “ that’s why i wanted to come to meet the folks who got it,    it’s rather impressive to steal a whole darn ship !  say,  how d’ya do it ?   ” 

cori was just about ready to run away from a fight but instead she got a friendly, bubbly very pink lady. "oh....oh yeah it is really tough. super tough." cori said nodding along with what she was saying. cori couldn't remember if she was allowed to do the talking now. after the standoff, no one has told her she could do the talking again. but it might seem odd not to say anything at all. "i...i didn't exactly steal it. i was the lookout really. not much in a fight. though i got a good kick into one of those alliance bastards, a real good one."

[corinnv-blog]

alliancenpcs‌:

“you grew up here,” he said, “could scale the canyons like nothing we’d ever seen. it was like you were made to scurry up the crumbling rocks. i could never catch you.” 

he nodded, a flickering smile passing across his features, “yes, you saved someone. a kid. his family was so so thankful and mom and dad had no idea how to reward you or even what to do with you. technically you weren’t supposed to be out there on your own but if you hadn’t defied them …” 

at the sound of her calling him ‘cy’ he felt the tears well up again. it wasn’t much but it was familiar, not so cold and quivering in fear. nicknames, even ones so simple, made him feel like maybe she sensed it too: she was home. 

“you were supposed to go to the city, but you never made it there,” he sighed, “one day we were saying goodbye, promising to stay in touch, swearing we’d win the war, and then we never heard from you again. it was like you disappeared. but there was no body, so we knew they’d taken you. but honestly, part of me hoped you’d died instead. the rumors we heard about what they do …” 

"scaling the canyon walls? me?" she laughed, trying to picture herself doing it. the red rocks crumbling as she went higher and higher. corinna you better get down here right this minute, young lady! you could hurt yourself! corinna! it was a woman's voice yelling up to her but still, she kept going. wouldn't that be a nice memory to have if it was real.

the rumors about what they do.

her breath caught in her throat, her eyes shutting tight. what they did, what he did. the needles, the pain. the experiments over and over and over. all the memories she tried to block out of her own, the ones she wish she couldn't remember instead. but it was all for the greater good he would say, tlaloc would smile at her as he said that. she wanted to believe that it was all for something good. she could handle pain if it would help someone else. the doctor said it would, why wouldn't she believe him. she didn't know. "what if she did die....what if i'm not..." she couldn't finish her words. "if i am her why would you still want me around here anyways. what if i'm different? what if you don't like it?"  she could wish and wish and wish for all this to be true but she didn't know. "our parents, your parents. are they alive? did they make it through the war?"

[corinnv-blog]

alliancenpcs‌:

when cori had been taken away from him cyprian thought that was the end. that he was declared a terrible brother and he could never reclaim the title. if he’s lost her how could he be trusted with a family ever again? so he’d closed himself off to all possibilities of connection, no one left to truly care about and no one to forget if the alliance ever got to him. 

but here she was, broken and with pieces missing, but still his sister or some distorted version of her. part of him wanted to hug her - to hold her close and not risk letting go. and part of him wanted to run away, the feeling of being chased by the ghost of his failure forever at his heels. 

“corinna,” he said softly, ‘”i know that you don’t remember, that you can’t. I know they took that from you and you won’t be able to get those memories back. nor, do i think, you’ll ever be able to trust me just on that basis of my words. but if you can look back on your life and say that there’s nothing off - no spaces that feel empty, that’s fine. but if you can’t and you want some help filling them in: i’ll be here.” 

god she wanted to remember anything. something small. the way her mother looked. or maybe her dad’s laughter. even if this man wasn’t who he said he was she still wanted something. back at the hospital, she spent so many days just trying to force herself to remember something. but there was always that block that stopped her. but that day saving kitra from that ledge something flashed into her mind. she had just written it off to be a delusion but maybe it was something. “there was water, rushing water. i pulled a boy out of the water.” she said closing her eyes to try and see the scene again. it was small and fragmented but there it was. a memory? or just a daydream.

“cy...” the small nickname rolled off her tongue without her even realizing. looking up at her brother she studied his face more. did he look like his dad? or maybe their mom. his mom. she didn’t know. she wanted to know.

“i don’t know if i am who you think i am. there is a lot i don’t know i’m learning. lies that have been told. i don’t know what to believe. but....what happened to your sister? to me...to...what did the alliance do?”

[corinnv-blog]

“go fish!” cori said slamming down her hand of cards, not exactly understanding the game. “did i win? do i get the money now?”

@rckins

[corinnv-blog]

lingering near the doorway for what felt like an hour, cori finally got the courage up to walk inside. “pax?” she said. “have you....have you ever worked with dr. tlaloc before?”

@paxrinne

[corinnv-blog]

“sparrow?” cori called out as she saw the familiar robot walking by her. “i hope it’s alright i call you sparrow. after all our conversations it feels right. but i do miss that blinking bird.”

@sparrow-zero-three

[corinnv-blog]

the ship was peacefully silent and dark at the clocks chimed in at 3 am. instead of being tucked into her comfortable bed, cori was laying down on the main deck staring up at the ceiling. her chest moved up and down rapidly with short breaths as she tried to stay off the panic attack that lingered just below the surface. in the quiet space of the ship she heard the sound of light footsteps coming towards her. she didn’t bother to look knowing it was one of the crew members. “my room was getting too small. this is the most wide-open place on the ship.” she said softly, hoping they might understand. after some pause she spoke up again. “i don’t want to see him. i can’t see him.”

@captainlvna

[corinnv-blog]

alliancenpcs‌:

“i know exactly what happened to you parents! to our parents! i’m your brother corinna!” he exclaimed, practically yelling at her. he didn’t mean to be aggressive, but the rage was building up in his chest like a storm making him churn with a bitter illness. but then he stopped, drew a breath and gained his composure, “you used to be here. fighting with us. then the alliance captured you and i thought you died.”

your brother.

no that couldn’t be possible. it couldn’t be possible at all. she had no siblings. just her parents killed in the same crash that took her leg and memory. no brother on the record. the alliance had told her.

why wouldn’t she believe them? it’s what she’d always been told. what she always believed. but was it true? she never questioned it before

she took her head. “no...no...” cori braced her head back against the wall, letting herself sink down. the world was spinning.

“i’ve never been to this planet before... i don’t remember this. i don’t remember any of this. i would remember something like this. i....”

how did he know her name then? there would be no way for him to know she was coming here. no way for someone to get her name. but maybe there was.

blinking back tears she frantically looked around. her breathing hitching as she looked for something, anything she might remember. this man, her supossed brother. “i would remember a brother...i couldn’t forget something like that. how does someone forget something like that. maybe you think im someone else? maybe i look like someone else.”

[corinnv-blog]

alliancenpcs‌:

he shook her shoulders, “is there really nothing left of your memories? mom? dad? i knew the alliance cut up peoples brains and took out the stuff that made them human but i didn’t think it was like this,” he rambled, the horror and disgust curling in his lips. “you are nothing of what you were. don’t you feel empty?” 

dark eyes grew wide as she felt him grab her shoulders. she could run or yell for help. she could scream. but she felt stuck frozen as he talked. “mom? dad? i....i lost my parents years ago. they were killed. i’m sorry i...” she didn’t know what to say. she didn’t know why but the more he talked the sadder she got. the more that spark flickered in her head. “of course i feel empty! anyone wouldif they lost what i did” cori snapped back. “but it was an accident that took them away not the alliance.” even as she spoke the power in her voice seemed to fade. “who are you? your name....i cant get it out of my head.”

[corinnv-blog]

alliancenpcs‌:

@corinnv

“how much did they take form you?” 

cypriah. the name that hadnt left her mind since the moment she heard it. she had probably said it over and over again hundreds of times. there was something about it but she didn’t know what. still hearing the name it felt like a tiny spark flickered in the back of her mind of a second. small but it was there. she felt it. and now standing here she didn’t know what to feel. "they?” she asked. “i don’t think anyone has taken from me...i dont think so. only given, at least lately.”

[corinnv-blog]

nofugitive‌:

@corinnv

“that cyprian asked about you,” she said, “muttered your name as he picked me up. why’s that?”

“he said my name?” the news came as a complete shock, as a hundred different scenarios played in her mind. “i don’t know. i’ve never met him before, never been to this planet...i don’t know.”

[corinnv-blog]

captainlvna‌:

              a nod,    juan pulls a surgical mask from the pocket of his scrubs.    it was not easy getting the official alliance issued uniform,    but pulling in favors wasn’t an odd occurrence among alliance staff as long as it went unnoticed by those who cared enough to report it.      “   we’ll leave the room with me pushing you out on the wheelchair all the way to the elevator and to the first floor,   then you’ll push yourself into the bathrooms–    only place without cameras–    and change into these,   ”    juan rolls up the clothes he stripped from and fastens them under the wheelchair with his belt,    keeping them pressed and as unnoticeable as possible.     “  we’ll ditch the wheelchair,   the hardest part will be slipping past the guards through the front entrance but i’ve got a little setup going on there,   ”     he doesn’t tell her that he’s planning to cause a low-level explosion on the first floor to give them enough time to leave the property before they shut it down.    gripping the wheelchair handles,    her looks at expectantly.    “   ready ?   ”

the plan seemed simple enough but thought through enough that it could work. still there were far too many variables that could wrong. it was enough to make her sick with worry. she had always been terrible at hiding her emotions, they were always painted clear across her face and there was no doubt now that they were there now. still the brunette gave a nod and took a seat in the wheelchair. “this doesn’t feel totally....” she paused trying to think of the right word for it. “real, i guess. i never thought i’d be doing something like this.” cori told him quietly. “i mean the alliance they took me in...” they took her in but everything that happened after that. everything she would try to forget. “what if i’m doing the wrong thing?”

[corinnv-blog]

nofugitive‌:

although kitra did not know that cori had glanced over shoulder, kitra did the same. the guard was all too nonchalant and poor at searching her. she was surprised by how easily she’d gotten away with keeping her communicator. but that did not mean she would let her guard down. with her back to the cell door, but listening intently for any movement, she read the message. 

‘files are redacted and are not current after the mission termination. i don’t have clearance to request more. i am on roame, currently imprisoned by redbloods.’ 

cori reread her message over and over again. why would her files be redacted like that? there would be no reason to. she’d mostly been at the hospital with the doctor and the others. more tests. more trials. a pit formed deep in her stomach as her thoughts raced. were they hiding her?

‘i dont know why they would redact things. it makes no sense.’

‘imprisoned?? doe juan know? do the others know? the alliance? i could tell the doctors. see if they can send a rescue ship your way or....’

 the glow of the screen flickered for a few moments before she sent her next message.

‘wait i don’t think that is a good idea to tell them....are you alright?’

[corinnv-blog]

sparrow-zero-three‌:

[HOST NAME 0.0.0.1] ? secret ? [HOST NAME 0.0.0.6] Y [HOST NAME 0.0.0.7] Y [HOST NAME 0.0.0.9] [COMMUNICATION WITH CORINNA.LORE.0008: FIREWALLED] [HOST NAME 0.0.0.6] ! secret ! [HOST NAME 0.0.0.9] [CO-ORDINATES UNKNOWN] [HOST NAME 0.0.0.9] [GPS ARRAY: DAMAGED] [HOST NAME 0.0.0.9] [GPS REPAIR STATUS: CANCELLED, INSUFFICIENT RESOURCES] [HOST NAME 0.0.0.1]

something about this all was picking at the back of her brain. she couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was though. but it was something. but she knew whoever she was talking to certainly was not going to be alliance approved. 

[corinna.lore.0008] ‘damn. alright...well is there anything near you that can help tell me where you are?’

down the hall cori heard a loud bang of a door being slammed open and loud footsteps stalking down to her.

[corinna.lore.0008] ‘shit. someone is coming. don’t message back. i will when i can’

it took several days later to feel like she wasn't being watched anymore and even then she felt like it was risky. her talking with an unknown person could be seen as her attempt to flee. still, there was that pull to that small communication device that had been safely hidden away but was now sitting on her lap. holding up a small icepack to one of her eyes, she typed out a message with her free hand.

[corinna.lore.0008] ‘are you still there? i hope you are. i had to wait to make sure they were gone and they werent watching.’

[corinna.lore.0008] ‘were you able to find anything to help me find you?”