❝… hey… wow… um… amazing, right…? that… i actually made it; i’m a year older… so much has changed that i wish i could tell you about… erm, well, i-i mean, i know i probably don’t need to tell you, since i know you’ve already probably been watchin’ over me, making sure i’m okay and all, y’know… like you always said you would… b-but still it’s so much to wrap my head around when thinking back… that i’ve come so far. i’m so different now. i’m… heh… each day i keep getting these offers for new choices, new paths, new adventures, and each day i become something different.
it’s made me someone so much more from who i was eighteen years ago. from who i was ten years ago. i was so lost then. i-i can’t… i can’t say i’m not still lost now… but i’ve at least found parts of myself, and pieced myself together to the point where i’ve at least… found some sort of point to all of this… and i’ve made it… i-i….,❞ he takes a moment to pause and squeeze his eyes shut, words bundling in his throat as he struggles to keep himself composed, why does he keep trying? who is he impressing by holding back his tears. ❝i wish you were here… if you were still here now… i hope you’d be proud of me… b-because i… i’m proud of myself.❞
nishinoya inhales unevenly, lifting a hand to finally wipe his cheeks free of his tears that were freshly spilling over the caked on layers, before sighing and placing both hands to the blanket he sat upon. after standing and folding the bedding, hastily shoving it into his backpack did noya set a single candle upon the tombstone, feet pressing together as he bowed his head in respect.
feeling tears begin to swell in his eyes, expression pinching and the corners of his mouth pulling down intensely as he tried to hold himself back, a quiet cry leaving him the burning filled his chest, the desire to cry and to let himself come undone was so overbearing, but he couldn’t make himself, he didn’t want to let himself break down again… yet as each warm memory of her touched his thoughts and his heart, he found it harder to keep denying it. fists curling into his chests as his brows knit together and his knees bend, body curling into itself as he shakily sobs out, droplets staining his cheeks and dripping from the tip of his nose, broken cries tearing from his chest with each exhale.
it felt as if an eternity had passed as nishinoya stood in front of the stone, but as his energy slowly drained and his head tilted back, body tired and exhausted from the emotional strain, he noticed that the sun had only just barely begun to rise, fog still dancing, twirling around each gravestone gracefully and somberly. a thick swallow- ah, shit, great, now i’m congested, - and noya used both hands to smear away his tears, keeping his face hidden to his palms for a good minute before letting his arms go limp and almond orbs falling to the picture that rest upon the tombstone. lips curl sweetly, a smile finding its way to his face, and noya raises two fingers to his mouth, kissing his fingertips and guiding them down to the picture, tapping the woman’s lips as he pulled his backpack up onto his shoulders.
❝i love you, mom. my birthday just isn’t the same without you here.❞